Women who’ve had anal sex tend not to discuss it – therefore, the female perspective of anal sex is quite obscure. Add in the fact that anal sex features predominantly in pornography, it seems understandable that many women would view this particular sexual act as highly derogatory.
I chatted to four liberal minded ladies about their experience of anal sex and three out of the four agreed that in the right environment and with the man they loved, anal sex could be quite pleasurable. From this discussion it seemed there were a number of variables which added to their enjoyment, so I posed some questions to these ladies to find out more about it.
Firstly, most women would be weary of pain associated with anal sex, so from your experiences would you say anal sex hurts?
The overall consensus is that anal sex shouldn’t be painful. Apparently it is an unusual sensation, however. One women said that having anal sex wasn’t exactly pleasant, mainly because she becomes exceptionally tense and therefore her body fights against the experience.
The other women agreed about this factor and the initial experience of anal sex, and all said that being relaxed was essential. They went on to say that foreplay contributes to a major part of their enjoyment and likened the pain of anal sex to “dry vaginal penetration” but more intense if failing to first prepare the body.
Still on the topic of pain, does penis size make a difference?
Only one of the ladies had engaged in anal sex with more than one partner and apparently she believed penis size did make a big difference. Her first partner had a significantly larger penis and this did increase the level of pain. Another lady said that she had used a vibrator anally which was smaller than her partner – she preferred this and agreed that penis size probably would make a difference.
I suppose the biggest question is: can women enjoy anal sex or is it something women do for their man’s pleasure?
One lady participated specifically for her partner’s pleasure, and although she didn’t oppose anal sex, she wasn’t very keen on it. I went on to ask her more about this and she said it was an unusual sensation which prevented enjoyment.
On the other hand, the other three ladies did enjoy it. Interestingly, each of them used additional lubrication and vibrators to stimulate the vaginal region during the anal sex. They also felt positioning was an important factor, with some positions making penetration more intense which can be uncomfortable for women.
Seeing that the ladies brought up the topic of positioning, I asked which were most enjoyable from a women’s perspective:
The spooning position was popular among the three women who enjoyed anal sex and interestingly, the lady who wasn’t too keen said her and her husband had only tried doggy style. The other women said this position makes penetration more intense and suggested spooning as an alternative if she opposed the sensation. Another popular position was the woman on her back on a higher surface and the man either standing or kneeling.
Finally, do you think anal sex is something woman should try?
Surprisingly, each of the ladies I spoke to said yes to this question – even the lady who wasn’t too keen. I zoned in on her specifically and asked her why. She went on to say that even though it wasn’t up her alley (so the speak), it was another level of intimacy her and her husband shared. This was why she indulged her husband’s desire and in turn he would perform other sexual acts which she knew weren’t his favorites.
Now, I don’t know if that’s a recipe for a great relationship, but it works for them and they’ve been together for over a decade. Each women did mention that having anal sex wasn’t something that they ever thought they’d consider, let alone enjoy. The key to trying something new relied heavily on feeling at ease with their partner.
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