Having A Mid-Career Crisis? Here’s How To Fall Back In Love With Your Job
Treat your job like it’s a relationship
Sometimes it happens suddenly, for others it’s a gradual realization, but it hits somewhere between 35-40.
You wake up and feel totally dissatisfied with your job.
Daydreaming of another job you’d rather be at, considering quitting and despising Mondays like the calendar personally attacked you are a few symptoms of a mid-career crisis.
Up until this point you’d been sold the fantasy of how grand your career would be, mixed with parental expectations suggesting ways to live your life. For a million reasons, that fantasy didn’t, or hasn’t yet, come true. With questions swirling and burnout building, you feel like escaping.
But human behavioral specialist, educator and author Dr John Demartini, says instead of panicking, you should use this time to reassess your values.
“We each have a set of values we live our life by. Now, when we are going down our path and doing what’s meaningful to us we have fulfillment. But many times, in order to socialize and fit in, we will compare ourselves to others. We imagine ourselves having less than them – less smart and less successful, and we’ll inject the values of other people in our life thinking that will be more fulfilling. We try to be somebody else.”
Trying to find your authentic self within your career leads to a lot of questions.
Do you go to another company? Do you start your own business? What do you want to do with the rest of your life?
Your job is like a relationship, according to Demartini. Not only does it trequire serious maintenance and demand realistic expectations, but communication is key to its success.
To fall back in love with your job starts with a conversation with the boss of your life: you.
When you’re feeling burnt out, escape is the most attractive option. But the best place to start is determining your values. What means the most to you? This calls for a long conversation with yourself and list-making.
“Make a list all of the things you do, all responsibilities in your job and a list of your life values. Then ask yourself a particular question: How is what you are doing in your job helping fulfill what’s important in your life? Once you can see that, you can appreciate your job,” recommends Demartini.
This is actually difficult to do if you’ve been lying to yourself for many years, but it’s a freeing and crucial step to dictating your next move, says the career expert.
“Sometimes it’s wise to go on and do something more meaningful, but other times it’s wiser to connect the dots and find out how what you are doing is serving you.”
Change your perceptions
Often a mid-career crisis is triggered by something more than a mere desire to try something new. People are involved.
Maybe you can’t convince your boss to take stock of their values and improve their communication, but you do have control over yourself.
“If your boss is giving you a hard time, sit down and think, ‘How is this helping me? Is it helping me maybe be more resilient? Is it helping me be better at dealing with difficult people?’ If you find the benefits, then that person doesn’t run you – you run you.”
You’re never going to empower yourself by blaming. You’re disassociating with your own cause and effect. You have command over your perceptions, decisions, and actions. So change your perceptions. Turn them into opportunities.
“Anything you can say thankyou for is fuel,” emphasizes Demartini.
“And anything you can’t say thankyou for, is baggage.”
Images via tumblr.com, giphy.com and pexels.com.
Comment: Have you ever had a mid-career crisis? What did you do about it?