Good news/bad news: there’s another type of orgasm you could be missing out on.
A rose by any other name may smell as sweet, but does an orgasm feel better if it’s called something else?
Specifically, what exactly is the difference between a clitoral orgasm, a vaginal orgasm, and a cervical orgasm?
Hold up, you might be thinking… Cervical orgasm? I already knew about vaginal (or G-spot) versus clitoral orgasms: is there another type of orgasm I’m supposed to be having now?
According to the Internet, maybe. A cervical orgasm, as you might guess, is an orgasm that comes from stimulating your cervix – the narrow passage at the end of your uterus. If you’ve ever been with a particularly well-endowed man, it’s the thing he kept bumping up against on every thrust. And if you’ve ever explored the depths of your own vagina with your fingers (we hope you have!), you know it feels kind of like the tip of your nose.
Is it real?
Some experts dismiss the idea that there’s any such thing as a cervical orgasm. But some people don’t believe in unicorns or astrology either, so…
Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., author of The New Sex Bible– she goes by Dr. Jess – explains the skepticism. “Cervical orgasms are lesser-known than clitoris or G-spot orgasms because they’re not as common—or not as commonly recognized.” But as someone who regularly experiences G-spot, or vaginal, orgasms from penetration alone, I’m willing to believe.
Clinical sexologist Patti Britton, PhD, tells Refinery 29 that some people believe there’s a “sacred spot” or “goddess spot” just below the cervix. “If the penile head [hits] that spot, it would provoke an ecstatic orgasmic response,” or so the theory goes.
Anyone who’s ever had a Pap smear, or an IUD inserted (ouch), knows the cervix is sensitive. They say you might feel a little pressure or cramping, and suddenly you’re in agony in the stirrups. So I guess it makes sense that you could feel pleasure there too, maybe?
“When the right fit happens, and there’s a solid pow to that sensor, it could produce a feeling or sensation,” Dr. Britton says. “Whether that produces orgasm is really up to that individual.”
Can I have one?
If you’d like to try having a cervical orgasm, you’ll need either a willing partner (preferably one with a larger-than-average penis), or a good-sized dildo for deep penetration.
You’ll want to go slow and be gentle, warns Dr. Britton. Go ahead with your regular routine – foreplay, oral, fingering, however you normally get warmed up. Once you’re super turned on, that’s when the action can start. Dr. Jess recommends getting yourself about “80 percent of the way to an orgasm” before you bring the cervix into it. Once you’re there, start having your partner’s fingers, penis, or the sex toy you’re using touch your cervix with every thrust. Your entire abdominal region may start to feel deep pleasure, says Dr. Jess.
Dr. Britton explains what’s happening: “So often, women report that they need direct or indirect clitoral stimulation, but they fail to report they also need something inter-vaginally,” When a penis, dildo, fingers, or anything else presses on the inside of your vagina, it stimulates a deep response. This may or may not lead to an orgasm, but if you’ve never tried it, it’s worth exploring. “If somebody is a self-stimulator, or they’re only a clit girl, it may be that they want to play with deeper probing,” says Dr. Britton.
How do you know if you’ve had one? Dr. Jess says women have described the feeling of a cervical orgasm as “an uncontrollable rush of pleasure between the belly button and the vagina” and says it might happen in conjunction with, or just after, a clitoral or G-spot orgasm.
Am I missing out if I can’t have one?
Absolutely not. The last thing any of us need is more pressure – in the sexual arena or anyplace else! And just like every vagina is different, every cervix is built differently, too. What feels good to some may be painful to others, and may feel like nothing at all to someone else. Keep in mind that some people like foot rubs, while other people’s feet are unbearably ticklish and can’t be touched. It’s the same with cervical orgasms.
The important thing is that you figure out what works best for you, your body, and (possibly) your partner. There’s no one right way to have sex, or to experience pleasure. Sometimes kissing is sexier and more pleasurable than penetration, and sometimes masturbating with your favorite toy is where it’s at.
Sex is all about who you’re with (being by yourself counts), how connected you are, taking it slow, and doing what feels best to you. Putting pressure on yourself is a surefire way to dampen desire and kill the mood – so if you find yourself stressing out about what kind of orgasm you’re having, it might be time to back off, take a deep breath, and try a hot bath and a book instead.
Images via shutterstock.com and giphy.com.
Comment: Have you ever had a cervical orgasm?