I Date Guys Twice My Age. What’s The Problem With That?
Calling all daddies.
When younger men quiz me on the kind of guys I go for, I always respond with “Men like your dad.”
I’ve always had a thing for an older man; and who can blame me when dreamboat mature types like George Clooney exist?
My fave kind of older guy? A Silver Fox Daddy (Dad bod not essential, but highly desirable). And it seems a whole lot of people agree with me, with websites and Pinterest boards dedicated to these men. Hell, yeah!
It has to take one ridiculously tall, dark and handsome man dressed dapper AF to make me turn my head. But a guy almost twice my age, especially if he’s a little gray? Let’s just say he doesn’t need to do anything for me to want to chase up the street after him.
Though I can’t pinpoint the exact reason more mature guys tickle my fancy, I’m pretty sure it has something to do with the fact I’ve dated my fair share of man children – guys so completely stunted in life, the only thing I was short of doing for them was wiping their asses.
These days it’s rare I meet a younger guy that I click with. Give me a daddy any day.
I not only find them a lot more attractive with that whole distinguished salt-and-pepper look; they also tick more boxes for me when it comes to the qualities I’m looking for in a long-term partner.
For the longest time, I persisted against giving in to my desire of dating much older men, trying to do the much simpler (and more socially acceptable) thing and date someone around my age. But all these 20-something guys seemed to have in common was the major commitment issues that older men did not.
Commitment issues aside, there’s a whole lot of other reasons as to why I’d always swipe right to a daddy on Tinder over a skater boy.
Firstly, there are never any games when it comes to communication. Zilch. They’re from the generation where, if you want to ask a girl out, you pick up the phone and call her. You never have to second-guess whether you’ve come across too eager or deconstruct their words in depth. If he likes you, you’re definitely going to know.
They also have their shit together, and they’re a wealth of knowledge when it comes to all that adult stuff like investing, buying a home and setting themselves up for the future. And although money isn’t everything, they’re normally financially stable and better cashed up. Romantic getaways are usually a thing (wink!) as they don’t have the same student budget as younger guys. Slight con: Fatherly lectures can take place when you go on a shopping bender and are hit with “Do you really need that?”.
They’ve also usually done the kids and marriage thing, and for someone who’s still unsure if that’s for them, it’s kind of nice to date someone who doesn’t put any pressure on the situation. There’s nothing worse than being hit with the “How many kids do you want?” conversation on the second date.
Contrary to popular belief, they don’t need to be prescribed substances to get things excited in the dick department. In fact, this is where older men usually really excel – they’ve been doing the deed for a lot longer, so they’re experienced AF. They weren’t bought up on a diet of PornHub and CougarMumz as their reference to sex either, so they understand the differences between porn sex and real sex, and the fact that women don’t orgasm just by being breathed on. Thank God.
But there are downsides when you have a penchant for the daddies.
As soon as a major age gap is present, people automatically jump to the gold digger storyline and suddenly you’re branded the next Anna Nicole Smith. Even if you do have a thriving career, people will always jump to the “She’s just with him for the money” conclusion, and it gets tiring, fast.
People also assume you’re dating older due to ‘Daddy issues’. They’ll automatically ask about your relationship with your parents, almost alluding to the fact anyone with a normal childhood would apparently date someone a similar age to them…
It can also be challenging to see he’s had an entire life before you. He could already have a couple of children and marriages under his belt. And his kids will always come first, which can be painful when dates are cancelled last minute for soccer practice or dance recital pick-ups. And if you’re excited about a potential trip to Italy because you’ve never been there, don’t expect him to mirror your excitement; he had his honeymoon with his second wife there.
Regardless, when I put a pros and cons list together, older men always come out on top. And if he’s a Silver Fox Daddy? I’ll be swiping right to him on Tinder, every time.
Images via tumblr.com and giphy.com.
Comment: Do you tend to gravitate towards a particular age group when it comes to dating?
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