Do we make bad decisions in love?

October 19, 2009

Watching the “Sex and the City” movie led SheSaid reader Elizabeth Rudenko to ask if we let love overtake our logic too often. What do you think?.

Read more love advice here!

After recently watching the “Sex and the City” movie for what could be counted as the seventh hundredth time I couldn’t help but pay closer attention to one aspect, it wasn’t the labels, the gorgeous dresses or the fact that I prayed for my boss to buy me a Louise Vuitton bag for all of my hard work. It was the moment when Carrie gives her friend relationship advice, in her speech she calls upon Miranda to differentiate logic and love when making a decision about taking back her cheating husband.

When I first saw the film I think like most girls I was so swept away by its glamour, romance and excitement that I never really payed attention to that question, yet now I wonder, how often do we let love overtake our logic, or logic block out love.

In my quest to begin unravelling this mystery I decided to explore situations far beyond only those of a relationship. Case in Point: Shopping. There isn’t a woman in the world that hasn’t had a bad day, be it a fight with a partner, feeling unappreciated at work, that extra kilogram over the weekend or just because it’s raining (you know which days I’m talking about girls).

So we decide that this is the day we deserve a little pick me up, we walk through the shopping centres, dive into the glamorous boutiques and as we are swept away but the shiny, the new, the extravagant, we see…the one. Staring at us, smouldering its dashing good looks, the sheer feel of it sends shivers down our spine and we know right there that we are in love and that is the day we begin a relationship with shoes. The first time we tell ourselves it’s just a casual thing, there is no commitment, no obligation and even when they cheat on us and generate blisters all over our feet that may bring us to tears, we cannot help but forgive them, because there is no logic, only love.

Yet it would seem that no matter which way you look at it, love, especially the dangerous kind, doesn’t come without a price. Too much love for shoes results in overcharged credit cards, too much love in life leads to a life of dissolution and an endless sense of heartache. I often wonder the logic going through the minds of women who forgive the men they love, the victims of cheaters convince themselves it was a one off, the victims of those who simply gave up allow themselves to believe that in time people change and devote their lives to giving enough chances to prove themselves true.

Sometimes love does conquer all, sometimes another chance is all that’s needed, but how often have women stopped buying those unattainable shoes, especially when that exact man broke their heart.

Love or Logic? Can we really let emotion, even the most wonderful kind dictate the path of our lives, can we let it take over completely, simply because the sensation feels so good, because denial is so much easier then facing the truth. Funnily enough (as unkind as it may be) it all catches up at the end, and the truth is that logic and love seem to share one similar purpose, logic forces us to take off the coloured shaded glasses and face what is before us, love, as in the one towards ourselves forces us to do exactly the same.

Because in life, there will forever be a battle between logic and love, yet if we learn to love and respect ourselves, the logic will come as second nature, as will the perfect pair of shoes, as will the perfect prince charming.

What do you think?

Read more love advice here!

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