Should You Encourage Your Partners Bromance?

Kim Chartres

The bromance is a weird phenomenon isn’t it? It’s basically when heterosexual men have a platonic affair with a male friend. They chat on the phone like teenage girls, get excited about seeing each other and being able to spend time together. Plus some get pretty physical like play fighting, wrestling, slapping butts, hugging and kissing. It can be a lot like dating except your partner has another man not a women and there’s nothing sexual about it. I did say it was weird! The question is though should women encourage their partners bromance?

RELATED: Marriage and friendship helps you live longer

Now having witnessed a few in action, elements of intimate relationships are present. They have highs and lows and peaks and valleys and sometimes there’s arguments or even fights. There are positive bromances which are supportive, but also negative ones which can potentially cause your relationship harm. So as you’ll read, not all bromances are created equal.

The positive bromance

These bromances are great and should be encouraged. Together men enjoy playing sport or watching a game, jamming, fixing things, hanging out, helping each other and will provide mutual support. In fact they maintain good mental and physical healthy. Plus if it makes him happy, it will be good for you in the long run.

When it comes to lifestyle, it can be tricky to have a positive bromance if one has a partner and the other doesn’t. Regardless of how well they get along or try to include you, it can lead to relationship issues between the two of you.

If your partner has a bromance with a single friend you’ll need to look at the individuals and the situation. If the friend respects you, your relationship and doesn’t encourage your partner to push boundaries, you’ll have nothing to worry about. Just because the other man is single doesn’t necessarily make him a bad influence.

Encourage the friendship by giving your partner the freedom to enjoy it. Men need to have good friends to discuss their problems and relationships with just like women do. If you find he is spending all of his free time with his friend, establish some boundaries about getting alone time together. If they have a partner or kids, encourage the families to mingle.

The negative bromance

When the bromance is negative, the two men just aren’t good for each other. They may drink too much together, gamble or engage in other behaviours that lead to relationship problems. This will often lead to altercations between the two of them as well. If your partner has continuous problems within the friendship, it’s usually a negative bromance.

Other signs can include if the friend disrespects you, treats you as an inconvenience, wants to spend all their time alone with your partner regardless of set boundaries, or encourages them to cheat on you.

They would like nothing more than to see the two of you split up so they can have your partner all to themselves. Their motives aren’t what good friends wish for each other and are purely selfish. Your partner may not see the friendship for what it is so you have two choices.

The first is to discourage the bromance. Your partner may be unaware of what’s going on and want to continue the friendship, so be aware of opposition. You’ll likely be seen as the bitch for not letting them spend time together. This has the potential to make it stronger and prolong the inevitable, so tread carefully.

The second option is to let the relationship run its course. Explain that you’re not keen on this person but understand your partners need for friendship. You never know, this person may have entered your partners life to teach them something, as negative experiences often do. Don’t encourage the bromance, but don’t discourage it by denying the friendship. Everyone deserves the right to make their own decisions even if they turn out to be mistakes.

After a time your partner will likely become bored, frustrated or aggravated with a negative bromance. This is when they generally end as abruptly as they begin. Be available when they experience the disappointment of their friendship not working out and treasure your time alone together until the next one comes along, as they often do.