Here’s What Happened When A Man Swapped Email Signatures With A Woman Colleague
Spoiler alert: “It fucking sucked.”
When a client suddenly started replying to his emails in a rude, dismissive manner, Martin R. Schneider, a writer and editor based in Philadelphia, wasn’t sure what was going on. Then he noticed he’d accidentally been sending emails with his female co-worker’s signature at the bottom, thanks to their shared inbox.
When he figured out the mix-up, he and his colleague, Nicole Hallberg, decided to conduct a little experiment. They would swap email signatures for two weeks and see what happened.
Spoiler alert: Schneider says it “fucking sucked.”
But let’s rewind a bit, to when Hallberg and Schneider’s boss complained to Schneider that Hallberg took too long working with clients. That’s really the beginning of the story. Schneider explained the whole thing on a Twitter thread earlier this week…
So here’s a little story of the time @nickyknacks taught me how impossible it is for professional women to get the respect they deserve:
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Nicole and I worked for a small employment service firm and one complaint always came from our boss: She took too long to work with clients.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
As her supervisor, I considered this a minor nuisance at best. I figured the reason I got things done faster was from having more experience
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
But I got stuck monitoring her time and nagging her on the boss’ behalf. We both hated it and she tried so hard to speed up with good work.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
So one day I’m emailing a client back-and-forth about his resume and he is just being IMPOSSIBLE. Rude, dismissive, ignoring my questions.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Telling me his methods were the industry standards (they weren’t) and I couldn’t understand the terms he used (I could).
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Anyway I was getting sick of his shit when I noticed something.
Thanks to our shared inbox, I’d been signing all communications as “Nicole”— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
It was Nicole he was being rude to, not me. So out of curiosity I said “Hey this is Martin, I’m taking over this project for Nicole.”
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
IMMEDIATE IMPROVEMENT. Positive reception, thanking me for suggestions, responds promptly, saying “great questions!” Became a model client.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Note: My technique and advice never changed. The only difference was that I had a man’s name now.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
So I asked Nicole if this happened all the time. Her response: “I mean, not ALL the time… but yeah. A lot.”
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
We did an experiment: For two weeks we switched names. I signed all client emails as Nicole. She signed as me.
Folks. It fucking sucked.— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
I was in hell. Everything I asked or suggested was questioned. Clients I could do in my sleep were condescending. One asked if I was single.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Nicole had the most productive week of her career.
I realized the reason she took longer is bc she had to convince clients to respect her.— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
By the time she could get clients to accept that she knew what she was doing, I could get halfway through another client.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
I wasn’t any better at the job than she was, I just had this invisible advantage.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Here’s the real fucked-up thing: For me, this was shocking. For her, she was USED to it. She just figured it was part of her job.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017
Hallberg told the story from her own point of view in a Medium piece, in which she explains what happened after she and Schneider ended their experiment early and went to their boss to tell him about it. “He didn’t believe us. He actually said ‘There are a thousand reasons why the clients could have reacted differently that way. It could be the work, the performance… you have no way of knowing.'”
For Hallberg, that was the lowest moment of the entire experience. Until her boss tried to deny that the email switch was proof of how toxic and sexist the professional world can be for women, “I never really felt anything like despair.”
But there’s something of a happy ending for Hallberg; in the wake of the email swapping experiment, she quit her job and started her own freelance writing business. “In an office of one,” writes Hallberg, “I can finally put my walls down.”
Image via Shutterstock. Media via Twitter.
Comment: What’s the most sexist experience you’ve had as a woman in the work world?
