How to Break Up Nicely

March 4, 2000

Exit Stage Right – The Etiquette of Dumping

So you’ve finally decided to break up with him but what do you say so he doesn’t’ end up weeping buckets or going psycho and throwing furniture about. These are our pointers for making a quick, clean and as painless exit:

  • Don’t verbally beat him up. Character assassination is not required at this point, no matter how tempting it is to whip out all those little things that irritate you, and it will only make you look petty. Besides he’s already going to feel like crap, don’t add to it.
  • Get it over with. Don’t let the conversation go on for hours, you will just be going round in circles. It will just get late and you will end up in bed together – bad idea. It should take no more than an hour, no matter how long you’ve been together.
  • Make it stick. The worst thing you can do is throw in a maybe to try to ease their pain. This leaves the proverbial door ajar slightly when it should be closed firmly behind both of you. Give him back his stuff. Keep all gifts he gave you, except if they are family heirlooms.

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