How to get a man to commit!

February 1, 2010

Dating guru Samantha Brett who writes a column for the SMH and has a new book out today called “The Chase: Everything you need to know about men, dating and sex” (Allen & Unwin, $24.99). Here are her foolproof tips on how to get a man to commit.

• Never use the words ‘commitment’, ‘boyfriend’,
‘ex-boyfriend’, ‘marriage’, ‘kids’ or mention
anything about the future in the fi rst THREE
MONTHS of dating him. Even after those fi rst
three months have passed, make sure he brings
those topics up fi rst, and when he asks you
how you feel about marriage, kids or moving in
together, simply shrug and say that you haven’t
really considered it yet, but if it’s something he’s
into then you’ll think about it. He’ll be so used
to women behaving in the opposite manner that
you’ll knock him off his feet and he’ll probably
beg you to commit!

• Never gush over other people’s weddings, kids
or lovey-dovey-ness in his presence. This will
make him think that you’re so into weddings and
commitment that it doesn’t really matter who the
man is, as long as you’re getting your dream white
wedding. This puts a man off so fast you’ll think
you’re yesterday’s takeout!

• Never openly complain about his behaviour.
Instead, try saying something like, ‘I’d really like
it if you spoke to my friends more—they hardly
know you and I’d love them to see how much of a
cool guy you are.’ Be positive.

• Have your own life OUTSIDE your relationship.
Show him you’re not always available when he
calls you, and don’t get annoyed when he goes out
with his mates, doesn’t call you and comes home
at extremely odd hours. Simply do the same thing
when he least expects it—and leave your phone at
home so you’re not tempted to pick it up. Chances
are he’ll be a whole lot more respectful of you next

And if he still refuses to commit? Don’t fret. As the
age-old proverb goes: ‘When a man repeats a promise
again and again, he means to fail you anyway.’

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