I’m letting go of past hurts, through my vagina. Republished from Whimn.com.au.
Hands up who isn’t walking around carrying past hurts with them? We’ve all got them, right? But mostly we learn to absorb or deflect and carry on with our lives. We’ve got too much to do to sit around wallowing.
But recently I read a theory that suggested we can carry past hurts with us in our vaginas – bad vajuju, I guess – and that in order to move forward with our lives we need to release past boyfriends (not literally, one would hope because ouch).
I know, it sounds kind of wacky, but stay with me. The theory is that we can give and receive good and bad energy – and if we’ve received bad energy from a former lover, we need to find a way to let that go so that we can move on and receive and give out the good kind.
That means better orgasms and more rewarding relationships.
How? With a self-care procedure called “de-armoring”.
I have to be honest, I was dubious. But on the flip-side, what have I got to lose? I decided to try it.
The first step is to create the right atmosphere – that means lighting candles, turning off your phone and putting on some relaxing music. Then you need to take a warm shower and try to “step into your body” – which I take to mean being mindful and present in what you’re doing.
Once you’re feeling warm and clean, step out of the shower and rub yourself all over with massage oil. The slower and more deliberate the better – like you’re nourishing your body rather than scouring the floor.
Then it’s time to lie down and relax (ever the practical one, I’d recommend a towel here unless you want to ruin your good doona – you can be in the moment and tidy at the same time, I’m pleased to report).
Next, take a few deep breaths and center yourself – bringing yourself into the room and into this moment. If you’re a meditator, this will probably come reasonably easily for you. If you’re not, you may struggle to contain your mind as it jumps about from what you’re making for dinner tonight to what the surname was of that boy you pashed at the year 10 dance. Either way, just know there is no wrong here – keep bringing your mind back into the room each time you catch it wandering and you’re all good.
As a practiced meditator, I found this step easy and relaxing. So far, so good. I’m feeling relaxed and in touch with myself.
Then it’s time to perform a body scan, going through each body part and seeing if you can feel the energy. And if you detect any throbbing, tingling or negative energy, visualize it rippling out of your body via your fingers and your toes. Maybe I was tired for this bit but I had no throbbing, tingling or negativity – but I’m hoping that’s a good thing?
All of this apparently gives you the space to connect with your vagina which, as you may have guessed, is the main show.
Here’s the bit you’ve been waiting for: it’s time to get up close and personal, and you’re going to need lube.
The de-armoring involves inserting one finger into the vagina, but you might want to take yourself out to dinner before you get to third base, so feel free to give yourself a bit of a massage around your thighs and belly if that loosens things up. You want to be super relaxed.
Then you want to gently insert that lubricated finger inside your vagina. Imagine your vagina is a clock: you want to insert and press down on your vaginal wall at 12 o’clock. If you feel any tension, tingling or tightening feeling, you’ve found some bad energy that needs to be released. Breathe through that feeling and envision that feeling rippling through your body and out your fingers or toes.
Then repeat that process all around your clock until you come back to 12 again. The advice I read says to not be afraid to get guttural – moan, groan and express yourself in whatever way you feel to release that energy (but best in a way that doesn’t your neighbors to call the police because this is going to be hard to explain).
Lastly, you thank your body and your vagina for being in this space with you and being open to releasing past hurts. Then wait a few weeks or months, rinse and repeat to see if those tensions have been released.
Does it work? Look, to be honest I felt nothing of note, apart from feeling a bit silly. And there was certainly no groaning to alarm the neighbors.
Maybe that means I have let go of all my past hurts, but maybe it also means this process is kind of pointless.
You know what is nice though? Taking the time out of a busy day to mindfully nurture my body and be present. The shower, the candles the oil – that was most certainly not a waste of time, and it’s something I’ll do again.
So I’ve decided the best tactic is to forget any worries about past hurts and focus on myself in the here and now instead.
Featured image via unsplash.com.
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