Feeling blah? Lost your mojo and want to rescue your sex life, but don’t know where to start? You’re not alone. Even couples that are perfectly happy and committed to each other get in a rut. Better sex can sometimes feel like allusive, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Try these techniques to kickstart your sex life.
Set a date
It may seem contradictory to set a date for better sex – after all, who wants to feel like getting busy is part of a schedule? But we know a number of couples who schedule sex – rain, hail or shine – and their sex life has gone from sluggish to sultry. In fact they can’t keep their hands off each other!
But in all actuality, purposefully setting aside time for our partner is a smart, healthy move. We make time for the gym, friends, manicures and happy hour. Why should this be any different? Being determined about carving out time to be intimate lets your partner know how important this area of your life is to each other.
Start early in the day
Intimacy doesn’t have to start when you dim the lights. Making love can start much earlier in the day. Let your guy know how excited you are for that evening before you both head off to work. Shoot him a text in the afternoon. When you get home, put on some music that make you both feel good.
Okay, so not everyone is comfortable trying wild and crazy things in the bedroom. But everyone has something new they can try, be it trying a new great sex position, to getting frisky in a new location. The point is to find something that intrigues you and try it out with your partner. Just be open to engage in some fun with your man – at the very least it could be a good giggle!
Communication is key
No one likes a silent partner. Like experimenting, better communication is a great way to build bonds that can translate into a stronger physical connection. Communication can mean something simple, like telling your partner how sexy they look. Or it could mean being open to voicing your desires in the heat of the moment. Maybe a position isn’t working for you, so keep touching and encouraging until you find that sweet spot. No one gets what they want without asking, and your partner is not a mind reader. So work up to a level where you feel comfortable asking for what you want.
Stay in romance mode
Remember in the Sex and the City movie, when Miranda tells Steve, under the sheets: “let’s just get it over with!” Sex isn’t about wham, bam, thank you ma’am. If you’ve been out to dinner with friends, come home and open a bottle of wine to share en deux when the kids are in bed. Light some candles (it’s a myth that only women are into candles, men love them too). Change out of those daggy undies into something that makes you feel good.
Real life happens – it’s about how you work it out that will keep that spark alive.
What are your better sex tips?