Love your bod!

July 26, 2005

Love your bod!

Are you aware that our body issues are just that ? OURS? We often put ourselves in a darker light than we deserve, putting ourselves down, assuming other people?s perceptions of us. The truth is, no one is looking at us and saying ?Wow, check out her larger than normal ear lobes,? or ?Holy! What?s with the knobbly knees?? As far as weight goes, consider this: are you willing to forgo that jam and cream donut to silence the criticism? Is there criticism in the first place, or is it self-inflicted? There?s no point lamenting something you can change. And there?s also no point lamenting something you can?t change! Interesting revelation, isn?t it?

Now, let?s consider sex. Wild, naked abandon isn?t everyone?s bag, but being able to feel free enough to have sex with the lights on and clothes off, really isn?t such a big ask. Much of sexual attraction is visual, and if you think that the guy who has invited you into his bedroom is going to be turned off by the sight of you naked, then let me tell you, you?re wrong! When the mood is hot and heavy, who cares about a few rolls of fat or a scar from where your appendix was removed, or some totally womanly cellulite? As women, we tend to be way harder on ourselves than we should be. We underestimate the power of attraction that men feel for us. It?s even likely that what we nitpick about, he adores!

?I know my girlfriend is all hung up about the size of her hips, but I just love them!? says Brad, 29. ?I can?t help it; I just think they?re a big part of what makes her as sexy as she is.? Trying to hide our body from a lover can be so much more a turn-off than letting him have full access with his eyes as well as his body. Call it perving, call it googling, or call it what it is ? indulging in the visual appeal ? men love to look! They?re very visual creatures and being able to see what he?s getting adds to the eroticism.

?What?s to hide?? ponders Chris, 30. ?If I?m allowed to touch, taste, smell and hear, why can?t I see too? Turning off the lights makes as much sense as putting headphones on or wearing a peg on my nose!? You have to admit, he?s got a great point. Sex is about indulging the senses. It?s about exploration, finding out what turns a person on, learning about how to please them.

If you have a negative body image, you may just be depriving yourself of heightened enjoyment. Try to relax, focus on his body instead of your own. Look at him. Is he perfect? Does it even matter? He probably kisses like crazy, or he smells divine, or the curls at the back of his neck invite you to run your fingertips through them. Does it make you melt when he looks at you a certain way? He may give the best backrub in the world, or look too cute when he?s loving the way you touch him. When you consider all those things, does it occur to you that you?ve never really dissected him and judged him over details like his pot belly or his shoulders that he wishes were broader?

Get into the moment, girl! We all have cellulite, even the celebs do! We all have days of the month where our tummies are more bloated than normal. We all have our lumps and bumps and issues with too-big, too-small, too-uneven boobs. Remind yourself that you are the sex goddess that got him into bed in the first place, and he?s not about to walk out the door just because you rip your clothes off ? is he?

By Gina Luca.

* Gina is a freelance writer whose passion for talking to people on the Internet provides much inspiration for her writing. Check out her website

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