My Modeling Career Made Me Attract Married Men

July 1, 2016

The revealing photos meant a lot more attention, and not the kind I wanted.

At the peak of my modeling career, I was working for top lingerie companies and high-end fashion magazines like Vogue.

A lot of my work was booked when people saw my online portfolio, which was great for raising my profile in the industry. I was mainly doing beauty and bridal work, but I was more interested in lingerie and swimwear, so I decided to get a boob job.

It was definitely a change for me, both physically and mentally. It was particularly tough to deal with the influx of creepy messages that came through while I was still getting comfortable with my new chest. Some men saw me as a piece of meat on the internet – one they could proposition for sex – and sometimes they were married.

I felt like a trophy to men and began to wonder if they were sincere when they said they liked me or if they just wanted to brag to their friends. It’s a real downside of modeling that you have to be a lot more guarded and selective about who you decide to date.

It’s not like I want people to feel sorry for me, but I believe it’s a common misconception that good-looking people have it easy, especially when it comes to love. That hasn’t been the case for me. I often felt my modeling photos were a magnet for men who weren’t happy with their relationships and wanted to boost their feelings of self-worth.

If you’ve ever wanted to be a model, here’s what you should be aware of before you enter the industry…

Men will see you as an object

It’s always nice when someone says they like you and ask you on a date, but you’ll always be left wondering if they’re sincere. I’d date men who constantly want me to be dolled up so they could tote me around like a handbag and show off to their friends.

Women will assume you’re going to steal their boyfriends

I’ve lost a few male friends because their girlfriends weren’t too happy they had a close female friend who was a lingerie model. This was made worse when they were contacting me secretly behind their backs. When we caught up, I had no idea it was being done incognito. You can imagine what the girlfriends assumed when they learned we were hanging out.

Men think cheating with a model doesn’t count

I was out with friends after a photoshoot and we ended up joining another group of guys for the evening. I kissed one of them and I noticed his friend giving him disapproving looks. He went to the bathroom shortly after and never returned. The next night he messaged me, wanting to tee something up. After looking at his Instagram profile, I noticed he had a long-term girlfriend. I immediately felt guilty, even though I’d done nothing wrong.

You’ll never know if someone is dating you for you or for your looks

I’ve dated men before who couldn’t cope if I ordered something unhealthy when we went out to dinner. For example, one guy wanted to share everything we ordered, and I thought it was cute until I realized it was his way of controlling the food that went into my mouth. He wanted me to stay slim because that’s the only reason he was dating me.

Men will see you as a trophy they can purchase

I used to live near an escort service and sometimes I’d be mistaken for one of the workers. Most of the time men would be extremely embarrassed for the mistake, but sometimes they’d give me a look that implied I should be grateful they thought I was good enough for their money. This would often happen to my other model friends, too. Just because we’re paid to model doesn’t mean we can be paid for sex.

Men will just want to sleep with you for bragging rights

I’ve been stung before when I slept with someone who ended up telling the whole town we’d spent the night together. And there were men I went to school with who started contacting me when they found out I was doing modeling. They’d pretend to be nice to attempt to get in my pants and become nasty when I’d politely tell them I wasn’t interested. Most of the time they’d be married or have a long-term girlfriend, and when I’d ask about them they’d remark that neither of them were happy and about to break up anyway.

Although there were many high points in my career, how men viewed me in that time was definitely a low point.

It’s nice to be desired, but not when it’s just for bragging rights.

GIFs via giphy.com.

Comment: What’s the worst way you’ve been treated on a date?

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