I Had A Mystery Box Of Sex Toys Delivered To My House

October 15, 2017

It’s like getting an online shopping package delivered, but 10 times sexier. 

Recently I had a moment no woman wants to have immediately after masturbating.

I was unsatisfied, and, possibly even more distressingly, I was bored.

As I lie disgruntled among the twisted sheets, sans orgasm, I tried to get to the bottom of what was missing from my solo sex session.

I already owned the perfect vibrator, and, until now, I’d pretty much always gotten off on my own with no complaints. I slid open my bedside table’s bottom drawer and flung my vibe back in.

Then it hit me. (Not the vibe. Though that would’ve added a much-needed moment of comical reprieve to break the frustration.)

There was nothing wrong with my technique or my vibrator; I simply had sex toy fatigue (STF). Just as having sex with a partner in the exact same position over and over again eventually gets tiresome, no matter how attractive you find your SO or how up for it you feel, using the same vibe for my mastabatory sessions for the past two years had grown old. I needed new stimuli.

It just so happened that the antidote to my STF arrived unexpectedly on my doorstep the next morning.

Given any packages I receive are usually work-related and I hadn’t had any recent wine-fuelled  late-night online shopping sessions (*smugly pats self on back*), I flung it under my arm and took it into the office.

“What’s this?” I asked my editor as I strode into the office an hour later, fondling the unlabelled parcel with my name on it.

“It’s a new subscription box. I want you to try it, for a story,” my editor replied.

‘Subscription box? I love subscription boxes!’ I thought. ‘Where do I sign up?’

And that’s when I tore open the brown paper postage bag and realized this wasn’t any ordinary subscription service. Oh no. It was an adult-themed box. And I mean aduuult.

I’d tried my fair share of home-delivered services before – from weekly healthy meals to the latest beauty and fashion products – but a box filled with sexy X-rated adulty things delivered to my door Every. Single. Month.? It seemed to good to be true.

Packaged in a sleek black box with a classy yet discreet pink “BB” label on the lid (the initials for the subscription service’s name; Booty Box), I could barely contain my excitement as I leapt three stairs at a time to my bedroom that night to try all cheeky commodities awaiting me inside.

And boy, did they deliver

Bijoux Indiscrets 21 Vibrating Diamond  

vibrating diamond bootybox

OH. MY. VIBRATOR. There are really no words to describe the goodness that I quickly discovered is a vibrator that looks almost as beautiful as it feels. Pretty and unassuming enough to leave on my bedside table when not in use (it honestly looks just like a cute paperweight) the diamond shape of this vibe lends itself perfectly to precise clitoral stimulation. Like, WHOA. Prepare yourself for multiple orgasms. The hard plastic exterior is great for applying a little bit of pressure and it fit super comfortably into the palm of my hand, and (most importantly) I reached the Big-Oh (more than once). Diamonds really are a girl’s best friend…

Emergency Sleepover Kit

This tiny package contained everything a girl needs if she gets caught out, ahem, sleeping over unexpectedly at someone’s home. It’s the perfect size to fit into a clutch bag you’d be taking on a night out. Let’s face it; there’s nothing worse than staying over unplanned at a guy’s house and trying to have a shower, only to find you don’t have a spare hair tie. Or you have killer morning breath. Or you desperately need some moisturizer. This genius kit eliminates all of these problems, and also has other nifty things hidden inside, like a tiny toothbrush and toothpaste, a bobby pin, Mentos, a tampon, a panty liner, perfume, a makeup remover wipe – seriously, they thought of everything.

Amali Soy Candle in Brown Sugar And Fig

The first thing I noticed in the little black box of goodies was a sweetly scented candle. It was the perfect mood-setter when I had my friend-with-benefits over for an adult play-date later that week; and beyond that, I found myself lighting the candle and enjoying its sweet smells when I was unwinding alone in my room at night with my other X-rated goodies.

Flash Heart in Gold

Reusable nipple pasties in the shape of hearts covered in glitter? If these don’t say cheeky, I don’t know what does. I can’t say I’ve found a use for them yet, but they’ve definitely been tucked away in my bedside drawer for my next kinky date. Or for when I summon up the courage to try out the new glitter boobs trend.

Jo Women For Intense Chocolate Lipgloss

This product honestly had me at ‘chocolate’, but the fact it gives your lips a subtle but discerable buzzing feeling when applied that can make kissing action a whole lot more exciting made it a winner.

Wet Stuff Lubricants Lubricant in Gold

If you’re gonna get a sex toy, you’re gonna need lube, so it makes sense a small-sized bottle was included in my box. It worked well with my new pretty vibe. Perhaps a little too well. (Let’s just say I’m already on my way to go re-stock.)

The verdict…

I was honestly blown away by the Booty Box, because it covered everything from sex toys down to candles and nipple pasties – all I could possibly want to feel sexy, sensual and luxurious with my sexuality. And with a retail price of $159 for the box I tried, it’s really good value, given a decent vibrator can set you back this much alone.

Any woman can relate to the excited feeling of expecting something delivered in the mail, whether it’s an invitation to a wedding or a massive late-night online shopping order (which, FYI, I’ve still managed to curtail), and so getting a subscription box aimed to help you explore yourself sexually is both exciting and erotic.

After a little more research I discovered the makers also have a box designed especially for couples; and considering the critical role sex plays in relationships, just over $100 a month seems like a worthwhile investment to make in the future of your coupledom.

So what started out as a story assignment ended up being an ongoing practise for me. I’ve just unpackaged my latest delivery, and let’s just say it’s already bringing me a hell of a lot more pleasure than those wine-fuelled late-night shopping sprees.

Images via Booty Box and tumblr.com.

Comment: Would you consider getting a sex-toy subscription service?

You Said