Not achieving the big O? Life’s too short to fake it! Here’s 7 tried-and-tested tips to get you off tonight…and every night!
1. Getting to know you
It’s reported that only 15 to 35% of women achieve orgasm through penetrative sex, so don’t be, ahem, hard on yourself if you can’t get off making love with your partner. Most women find it much easier to climax through clitoral stimulation. So get to know your body downstairs and what works for you. It might be through touching yourself, making love while rubbing against your clitoris or using vibrators.
2. Slowly does it
Whether you’re going solo or with a partner, take your time. Start, then stop just before you come, catch your breath, and start again. If your partner is touching you, ask them to pause, or kiss them passionately while you take a deep breath. Draw out the pleasure.
3. Let me introduce BOB
Have you been introduced to BOB? Every woman needs a Battery Operated Boyfriend to keep in their bedside table, or like Samantha in Sex and the City had, a “goody closet.” Vibrators and dildos are an excellent way to discover how to orgasm, and can be enjoyed on your own or used with your partner. If you’re buying your first sex toy, look for a vibrator with clitoral stimulation, like the infamous Rabbit.
4. Elvis the Pelvis
Sex therapist Betty Dodson came up with a powerful technique called the Rock ‘n’ Roll orgasm. It engages your internal muscles for a deeper orgasm. “You rock your pelvis forward and squeeze your vaginal muscles then release and repeat while masturbating,” says Dodson.
5. The good oil
Try using massage oils or lubricant while masturbating. The slippery sensation is very sexy, and a bonus visual turn on for your partner to see you all sleeked up.
6. Let it go
We’re often so focused on achieving orgasm that we can’t let go and enjoy the moment. Or we get distracted by outside noises, what to cook for dinner, if you’ve fed the fish…And then we get stressed out that we haven’t come, which makes it harder and harder to enjoy it. Let it all go and focus only on the pleasure. This is your moment, enjoy it!
7. Time to fantasise
Fantasies are a wonderful way to bring on an orgasm. Just close your eyes and visualise something or someone that turns you on. Have fun with your fantasies!