August 14, 2002
Smoking in the office is now officially OUT. But there are sneakier rules that you should watch out for if you want to be taken seriously.
- Never let anyone call you “darling”, “doll”, “love” or “honey” unless, of course, you work in the fashion industry.
- No chewing gum. Ever. Unless you’re paid to be a chewing-gum tester.
- Definitely no long descriptions of last night’s steamy sex session on the office phone and no dirty talk to your partner, even if you think no-one’s listening.
- No personal calls that reveal too much either, like chatting with a girlfriend about your bad case of dermatitis/thrush.
- Beware the office toilets. The person locked in the cubicle while you’re gossiping about the boss with a co-worker probably is the boss.
- If you’re going to steal office stationery, be prepared to be thought less of.
- Ditch plunging cleavage, see-through blouses, skirts that just cover your butt – or that have splits that go up to there, or anything with VPL (visible panty line). Do wear killer stilettos, however, if that’s your thing. There’s no law against dangerous footwear.
- Fudging expenses is appealing. Being called in to explain every single dollar is not.
- Never tell anyone, especially not a colleague or competitor, how much you earn unless they’re the person you’re asking for a raise.
- Be nice to the errand girl/boy. You’ll meet her/him on the way down.