Despite how loving the relationship is between you and your partner there are probably always going to be things you disagree about when it comes to parenting. This may be due to the fact that you were both raised differently, or you simply have differing views on how situations should be handled. When you’re both sleep deprived even the smallest triggers can set off a full blown argument which could probably have been avoided if we’d just opened the lines of communication a little bit better.
Let’s see if any of these parenting issues that couples fight about the most seem familiar to you:
Deciding who gets up with the kids
It’s no secret that after you have children the number of hours you sleep for each night usually decreases, whether that’s because you’re getting up to a baby in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn with your toddlers. As much as we would all love a sleep in every single day, the most logical way to handle this problem is to take turns sleeping in and make sure you stick to it. It’s probably the only way you’re going to eliminate that bitterness about who is getting more sleep than who.
Dividing child and household duties
Before you had children, the duties around the house were clear – you did the dishes, the vacuuming and dusted whilst your partner swept the leaves, picked up the dog poo and hung out the washing. But now that you’ve thrown a baby into the mix there’s a whole new set of chores that need to done too, so who does all the extra work? That’s obviously something you’ll need to discuss with your partner to ensure that it’s fair for both of you. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed with the number of chores, then talk about it – your partner isn’t a mind reader and bottling it up will probably end in disaster.
Escaping for ‘me time’
Something else you have less of after you’ve had a baby is time to yourself. It’s quite common that partners will just slip off to ‘check on something’ and they’ll ‘be right back’ only to emerge or return hours later and wonder why you’re so flustered. It happens when parents are in desperate need of some time to themselves, but rather than running away and leaving your partner in the lurch, schedule in ‘me time’ for both of you each week. Having a schedule each week of work hours, daycare hours, family time and me time can be a great way of keeping track of those precious hours.
How to discipline your children
Something you and your partner need to be clear on is how to discipline your children. If you’ve created something like the naughty corner then both of you need to be clear on the rules and punishment that are associated with the naughty corner. If you’re not doing the same thing as your partner, you’re sending mixed signals to your children and the punishment won’t be as effective because you aren’t being consistent. Put aside some time to discuss how it’s best to discipline your children and stick to it.
What have you been doing all day?
If you’re a stay at home parent then you may have had this question from your partner in the past – it can be difficult for a parent who is away from the house all day to understand why it’s ended up so messy. Yes, babies are little, but they need constant attention and the chores that come with them are never ending. So rather than fight about it as soon as your partner steps in the door, sit down and discuss the best way forward once the kids are in bed. You might come to an agreement where the person at home will aim to have a certain amount of chores done each day whilst the parent who has been working all day can’t expect the house to be spotless.
Image via gottmanblog.com