I didn’t give my placenta another thought until it splashed loudly in my toilet.
Human creation is a wonderful thing.
When they came into the world, I knew I was complete.
No, I wasn’t ‘too posh to push’.
It’s a roller-coaster of emotions when you conceive a “rainbow baby” – a baby born directly following a miscarriage or stillbirth. At first, you’re incredibly happy and relieved and then the cold, hard fear and dread creeps in. A rainbow baby will never erase the pain or the memory of the lost baby, but it’s a beautiful, new beginning.
For the loss of a baby through miscarriage and/or a stillborn is an incredibly devastating and debilitating life event and can take you much time to grieve. It’s as though your mind/body/spirit has undergone such massive stress and gut-wrenching upset and sadness, you wonder if you’ll ever heal.
Pregnancy loss is then worsened, at times, by society’s ill-treatment of the bereaved; your no doubt well-meaning friends, family and work colleagues will want and expect you to recover very quickly, as well might you may. But, in my experience, after two miscarriages, the grief process can take some time and you can think you’re well recovered until something sets you back: a friend falling pregnant; a violent reaction to seeing a newborn in the street; and/or you’re pregnant again and you’re overcome by fear.
I fell pregnant with our first child just four months after the soul-sapping horror and heartbreak of finding out our much-wanted, 12-week baby had no heartbeat. Of course, my husband and I dearly hoped we’d fall pregnant again quickly and we were very blessed that it did, but I wasn’t quite prepared, either physically or emotionally, to fall pregnant again so soon. I felt incredibly scared and numb.
Would I miscarry again? Could I survive it? What if I just couldn’t carry a baby to term? All these hideous fears and more were clouding my heart and my head to the point it was overshadowing any pregnancy joy I was experiencing with my first child.
So, what did I do? Here are my tips, from my heart, on how to embrace having a rainbow baby. Below, you’ll also find top advice from a clinical psychologist I interviewed, who wishes to remain anonymous.
And did I get my happy ending? Yes – I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who was a whopper, born ten days overdue. And I’d venture dear reader, you’ll get your happy ending – a much-wanted child – just as I did, too.
My coping tips
- Keep busy: Working through my first pregnancy right up until week 32 (when I got too huge and cumbersome to travel) helped me stay sane and focused on something else outside my pregnancy.
- Get help: I got some very helpful short-term grief counselling from a clinical psychologist to help me better resolve my grief over losing the baby.
- Mind over matter: I practised a lot of pregnancy yoga and meditation to resolve my angst. There’s something so healing about both yoga and meditation and it’s good for your health too.
- Talk, talk, talk: Loved ones you can lean on, who offer wise, practical and sane advice, are who you need to surround yourself with right now. Stay away from negative people who regale you with pregnancy horror stories. And talk it out – I talked about my fears and stress a lot and it helped me no end.
Psychologist coping tips
“Miscarriage is a very distressing event,” says the clinical psychologist. “It’s bound to be followed by a period of grieving and sadness, making it hard to enjoy a subsequent pregnancy. But it’s so important to move on and allow yourself to feel the joy and optimism of a new pregnancy,” she says.
It’s not easy, but the psych says to try these suggestions:
- Discuss your fears: Tell your worries to a professional such as a nurse/counsellor, someone who can reassure you on the statistics of having a normal pregnancy this time around.
- Practice some mindfulness: Learn to be in the here and now and enjoy the moment – do something you enjoy and immerse yourself in that.
- Seek strong support: Be with friends and family who are supportive and positive, who will talk if you want to or just be there with you in a kind, caring and understanding way.
- Breathe in and out: If you are experiencing anxiety, try relaxing using slow deep breathing and picture the new baby, healthy and safely arrived. Imagine holding her/him and allow yourself to feel happiness. Hold onto that feeling.
Images via froufroumonkey.com, lendmeyourkite.com, inspirefirst.com, Pinterest
What do you think? Did you have a rainbow baby?
While Carrie Bickmore is shutting down Steve Price about his breastfeeding comment, social media has been blowing up about a woman’s right to breastfeed whenever and wherever she wants. And while most of the population are supportive about women breastfeeding in public, there are still those that hate on the natural process.
I would like to call all those who get so distressed about breastfeeding to jump on a new cause. The other day, I witnessed a woman, easily her third trimester, smoking. I was shocked. Knowing that there is so much research and support to show the problems that smoking during pregnancy causes, and rarely seeing women publicly smoke while pregnant, I was in disbelief.
Smoking during pregnancy is the number one cause of adverse effects on children’s health. Being born premature, being born too small and death before birth can all be avoided if a woman was to stop smoking during her pregnancy.
And I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Through the glass windows of our office, three other women saw the puffs of smoke escape the woman’s mouth as she talked on her mobile phone, causing a discussion about neglect for the unborn child that is trying to grow in her uterus.
Many have forgotten about smoking during pregnancy, purely because it’s not something the media reports on at the present moment, but it is still occurring, putting many more babies at risk of developing a debilitating disease. While babies who have suffered from cigarette exposure can suffer from problems at birth and infant death, the smoking also affects them later in life with children having a higher risk of asthma or decreased lung function, an increased risk of childhood obesity and an increased risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure in adulthood.
A decision of a woman to smoke during her pregnancy will cause health effects on her child for life. It has even been suggested as child abuse or neglect due to the fact that smoking harms an unborn child who has no say or rights.
In such a modern and sophisticated world with ample access to research and technology, I wouldn’t think we would be having this conversation, but as people forget what isn’t being publicised in the media everyday, we need to remember that smoking during pregnancy is very harmful.
If you need help quitting, you should see your doctor.
Image via jacquewatkins.com
Did you ever watch What To Expect When You’re Expecting? And think, I’m going to be Elizabeth Banks, who has the awful pregnancy experience while Brooklyn Decker is still wearing stilettos and going to pre-natal yoga classes. Everyone’s pregnancy is different, but staying fit and healthy during a pregnancy is good for you and your baby. However, there are certain things that you should take into consideration when you’ve got a bubba growing inside of you.
There’s a certain false impression that working on those abs is going to help you push out the baby when the (terrifying) time comes but accredited exercise physiologist Kate Faber from Precision Physio is here to bust that myth, saying it’s just not going to help in the way you think it is.
Kate Says, “Many women (and some medical, health and fitness professionals) believe there is great need to strengthen the abdominal muscles during pregnancy, in order to assist in pushing the baby out during delivery. While this may seem logical, the abdominal muscles are not directly involved in delivering the baby – the uterus and pelvic floor are responsible for that!”
And if you’re thinking that’s not a problem, but you’ll continue to do crunches to make it easier to get that flat belly after your pregnancy, you should definitely think again about that one.
Pregnancy exercise is a great way to keep yourself fit and minimize the extra weight gain that isn’t pregnancy weight but just ‘I can eat whatever I want weight’. Everyone gains weight during pregnancy, but let’s take a tip from Jessica Simpson to put down the deep fried Oreos and Southern spiced wings and keep it healthy for the baby. Eating a healthy diet and engaging in some pregnancy-friendly exercise is a great way to keep yourself fit and not have to shock your system once you’ve given birth and you’re looking to get your pre-baby bod back.
Kate also has some great pregnancy tips for the type of exercise you are looking to do. You should always take your baby’s health into consideration and see your body as a place that you are nurturing a life. Women don’t need to be completely wrapped in cotton wool when they’re pregnant, but there are safety tips to follow when considering how you’re going to work out.
Let’s take a look at Kate’s top pregnancy workout tips:
- Include a gradual warm-up and cool-down pre and post exercise.
- Exercise at an intensity that is comfortable for you – avoid unsupervised high-intensity exercise during pregnancy if you weren’t doing it before you fell pregnant.
- Stay well hydrated and avoid over-heating.
- Avoid any activities (e.g. very heavy lifting) which cause you to hold your breath or alter your posture.
- Beyond 16 weeks, be careful when lying on your back – you may be more comfortable in a seated or incline position.
- Avoid activities which increase the risk of physical injury (e.g. contact sports).
- If you do develop abdominal separation, seek guidance around exercises you need to include or avoid.
- Get moving – reduce time spent sitting and get regular exercise in!
- Maintain good bowel habits – go when you need to go!
- Practice safe manual handling techniques – whether it be at work or home.
Keeping it gentle is key and activities like walking, swimming, yoga and pilates are low impact activities that keep your body fit and build a strong cardiovascular system, which makes mum and bub healthier.
For more information about Kate Faber and Precision Physio, you can visit their website.
Images via myrtylebeachbirthservices.com and precisionathletica.com.au
While women are usually elated during pregnancy, dads-to-be can sometimes put a damper on things. The reason: FEAR! Many men experience unrelenting fear because life as they know it has changed in an instant – and despite most men not revealing what they are thinking, as soon as it’s official that they are about to become fathers their minds race off in a million different directions.
Initially, there’s the prospect of complications during pregnancy. Men won’t say it, but there are some who fear losing the baby as a result of miscarriage. Giving the commonality of miscarriage, said to occur in about one in five pregnancies, this fear is understandable. As a result, some men may distance themselves from their partner or the pregnancy and their thoughts surrounding this loss can make them do some weird and not-so-wonderful things.
For example: some men avoid talking about the baby or purchasing essential items before the baby is born. To women this can be frustrating or hurtful and tends to look like he’s really not interested. That’s often not the case. Basically, they want to avoid the pain associated with miscarriage – and whether they realise it or not, some dads-to-be put up protective boundaries to prevent this from happening.
On the other hand, some expectant fathers worry obsessively about their unborn baby and partner. They don’t want anything to go wrong and take every precaution to prevent complications. This is when pregnancy can effect a couple’s sex life. There are men who worry about vaginal penetration or additional pressure on their partners stomach during sex. These men are genuinely concerned about harming the baby. And despite the lack of evidence that sex could be a reason for miscarriage, there are men who don’t want to take the risk or feel uncomfortable about having sex with their pregnant spouse specifically for this reason.
This brings many to have fears about their partner and relationship. Although fatal birthing complications are as rare as hen’s teeth these days, most men don’t want to contemplate the idea that anything could happen to their partner or baby during delivery. Other thoughts surrounding their relationship include: whether it’s strong enough to survive parenthood, how will the baby change their life together and how their roles as partners and people will shift.
Ultimately, all men expecting a baby ask themselves the biggest question and that is how will they cope with being a father. All these thoughts and feelings manifest as some type of behaviour. Those confident about the challenges ahead will excel, while other men will struggle with the concept of fatherhood and this is when negatives arise – they may not be telling their partners directly how they feel, but their behaviour will be a prime indicator of what they are experiencing.
Image via essentialbaby.com.au
Preconception care prepares your body for a successful, healthy pregnancy and is one of the most responsible choices you can make for you and your baby’s health. It helps eliminate harmful substances from your diet known to affect reproductive and general health and foetal development and should be considered by everyone looking to start a family.
“You need a healthy body to make a healthy baby,” explained naturopath and author, Lisa Guy. “It takes three months for female eggs to mature and four months for sperm to mature which is why it is so important to consider preconception care as early as possible, at least four months in advance, to increase your chances of a successful, healthy pregnancy.”
“Being healthy while trying to conceive is vital for both you and your baby. The preconception period is the time to make life changes for you and your partner that can help boost fertility, reduce problems during pregnancy and assist in recovery from birth,” added Lisa.
Here, Lisa outlines her essential tips for preconception care;
1. Examine your diet
At no other time in your life is your diet more important than before, during and straight after pregnancy. Eating a wholesome, well-balanced diet is vital and will increase your chances of a successful pregnancy. Try to include at least five portions of fruit or vegetables, protein, fish and some iron-rich food in your diet and make fast food and sweets an occasional treat.
2. Take essential supplements
Although nothing takes away from the significance of a healthy, well-balanced pre-pregnancy diet, nutritional supplementation is extremely important and is known to help prevent congenital defects and malformations often caused by nutritional deficiencies. Taking a supplement every day is a small change that will pay big rewards. When planning pregnancy, there are three essential vitamins and minerals your body needs:
- Folic Acid: Essential for healthy foetal development and reducing the risk of neural tube defects such as spina bifida, folic acid is crucial in pre-pregnancy. You should consider taking folic acid three months prior to conception. Each FABFOL tablet contains 500mcg of folic acid which is the recommended daily intake for the Australian diet.
- Zinc: Zinc works to support and strengthen the immune system and is important for hormone balance and to boost fertility.
- Omega 3: Increasing the intake of omega 3 fats helps support reproductive health.
3. Kick unhealthy habits
Making some important lifestyle changes is a great way to prepare for pregnancy and will help ensure a healthy conception. Avoid anything that poses a health risk to you and your baby such as alcohol, cigarettes and some prescription medication.
4. Visit your GP
A trip to your GP for a preconception consult is also important when you begin thinking about starting a family. Your GP will provide you with expert advice on planning your pregnancy, discuss any health problems or concerns, lifestyle issues, diet and organise any essential pre-pregnancy immunisations.
FABFOL has all your nutritional needs covered pre, during and post pregnancy, so all you need to focus on is your growing baby and is available from pharmacies nationally. FABFOL 56 tablets RRP $24.95.
Is there anything that yoga can’t do? Not only is prenatal yoga good for you, but it’s also great for your baby! There are many institutions all over the country which offer great yoga classes for you and your unborn baby – with stellar results.
Prenatal yoga is divided into three different levels – one for the first-trimester, second and then the third and final trimester just before the baby is due. Below you can find just a few ways prenatal yoga is good for you and your baby, and how to get started.
Not only does it help you stay in shape during your pregnancy, yoga also keeps your muscles nice and toned, improves circulation in the body, and helps with a variety of breathing exercises that will keep you calm and centred during labor.
One of the first steps of any yoga classes doesn’t actually focus on the arms or legs at all – instead it teaches you ujjayi. This technique means that you breathe in through your nose and completely exhale through your mouth, leaving your stomach to decompress.
- Before you embark on your first ever prenatal yoga class, it’s a great idea to drink a lot of water. Sometimes yoga can feel physically exerting, so it’s always good to keep your body hydrated.
- Take a deep breath after every movement. With each class, this will be easier to remember, and soon you’ll find your body just does it naturally after every rhythm.
Best yoga position: Side-lying position
This is one of the best positions to end a class, and is suitable for women in their first, second or third trimester. Feel free to take as long as you want with this position, and practice breathing.
- Your instructor will let you know which poses to avoid, and which to embrace since your joints will begin to loosen up due to pregnancy. As a general rule you should avoid lying on your back, since the weight of the baby isn’t comfortable and it could block blood flow.
- Don’t rush into every position. Remember to take your time and listen to your body. If you feel extremely strained and tired, it’s best to take a break and ease back into the position later on.
Best yoga position: Cat Cow
This position is perfect for women who are in the early stages of their pregnancy. The exercise focuses on stretching the back muscles, and relieving any tight back pain.
- If you’re well into your trimester, you may feel that your sense of balance is compromised, and it’s harder to perform some of the standard poses. Use a chair to keep your balance, and remember to go slow and don’t rush into anything.
- It’s important to keep your body moving, so don’t hold poses for a prolonged period of time.
- Focus on breathing exercises which will help you in labor. Sometimes this could mean just reinforcing the ujjayi technique over and over again.
Image via Fitta Mamma
A good friend of mine, who’s mere weeks away from giving birth to her second child, recently had a hilarious, X-rated dream about a handsome Indian man who skilfully pleasured her, then fed her pappadums. Win, win!
And, confession time: I too had many such pregnancy sex dreams during both of my pregnancies; I was a right hornbag, to quote Kath and Kim.
This is all good and well, until you wake up from such an erotic dream, only to have your husband ask you what you’ve been dreaming about, because you’ve been moaning and thrashing about in your sleep?! And it can be especially awkward if you’ve been having bizarre X-rated dreams about someone random in your life, like say the neighbour next door, or the local barista who so adeptly makes you your favourite daily coffee.
So, why do pregnant women have porn films going in their subconscious, when asleep?
Don’t panic, you’re not losing your mind: is it those crazy hormones – the bane of all pregnant ladies – to blame, yet again? Experts say yes, in part. And chillax – these pregnancy sex dreams are very, very common.
Your heightened hormones may well be the cause, dramatically increasing your libido. Or, maybe you’re not having as much sex with your husband as you’d like, now that there’s a massive baby bump in the way? Thus, your crazy sexual cravings are consuming you?
Of course, pregnant women’s dreams are more vivid and unusual when up the duff. In addition, experts say these dreams may reflect any anxiety and emotion you may be feeling about being pregnant.
What’s more, you often don’t sleep as soundly when pregnant, especially in the uncomfortable last few months before your EDD – not to mention the fact that you have to get up to pee all the frigging time – so, inevitably it’s more likely that you will remember your crazy, porn-star dreams.
One idea, and a nice way to make the most of your bizarre porno dreams while pregnant, is to keep a journal next to your bed, for when you can’t sleep, then share your crazy sex dreams with your partner. It could lead to deeper intimacy between the two of you at this tumultuous time of expecting a baby and turn him on, too.
Maybe just don’t mention the pappadums. Now, that’s just weird!
What do you think? Have you ever had pregnancy sex dreams?
Images via www.pixabay.com
Whether you’re in the early stages of pregnancy or finally nearing the end, your style will obviously change to more comfortable clothing – especially dressing for that beautiful baby bump!
If you’re currently expecting and need a bit of a style refresh to get you through those last few months of pregnancy, here are just a few ways to look stylish and during pregnancy.
If you’re living in a warmer climate, it’s easy to throw on a maxi dress without a care in the world! Not only are maxi dresses perfect for any type of occasion you’ve got going on, but they are also incredibly comfortable.
We were definitely inspired by Fashion Editor Miroslava Duma and her ability to look chic and comfortable during the later stages of her pregnancy (and juggling the month-long battle of fashion week!). Pair a maxi dress with sandals or flat shoes and a jacket for a perfect look.
The colder weather isn’t really that bad, since you can throw on a comfy coat over almost anything! Whilst comfort is most definitely key, you can accessorise with a number of different coats – wool coats, trench coats, chiffon coats and adapt them to the occasion and also the weather.
Looking for the perfect cover-up for the beach or simply just the warmer weather? Kaftans are a great dress for pregnant girls since they aren’t restricting, and you can easy slip in and out of them at any given time.
Dress this look up for the evening by pairing a kaftan with a sexy pair of gladiator sandals (or heels, if you dare!).
Another great alternative to a dress is a funky tunic. You can choose to wear this item as a dress, or even as a top since it’s extremely roomy and won’t leave you feeling uncomfortable throughout the day or night. If the weather is a bit chilly, pair with leggings and form-fitting blazer over the top.
An evening shawl is the finishing piece to an outfit that comes in many different colours, shapes, sizes, and fabrics. Simply pop it over your shoulders if you’re feeling chilly, or even wear it over one shoulder for the perfect spring accessory piece.
A cropped jacket or blazer is a great piece to own, if you’re pregnant in the colder months. Not only is it a comfortable and stylish item, but it frames the body nicely by emphasising your growing baby bump! No need to go out and buy a new jacket, save some money by styling an existing piece from your closet.
Images via Fashionising, Zaychishka, Natasha Goldenberg, Daily Mail
It’s only natural that new mothers want to bounce back to their pre-baby weight sooner rather than later, but in reality is doesn’t happen with the snap of your fingers. It takes time, unless of course you are fortunate enough to have a personal chef, a personal trainer and multiple hours a day to work out.
For most of us it happens slowly but remember that everyone is different. Depending on how much weight you put on during pregnancy, how much you weighed before you fell pregnant, your age and genetic factors will all play a part in how long it will take for the weight to come off again.
Here are some tips for losing that post baby weight safely:
- Before you start any fitness regime remember to talk to your GP about when it’s best to start exercising again, especially if you’ve had a caesarean. Some mothers who had a natural birth and were physically active before the birth will be back exercising within a week whereas others who had a caesarean will take much longer, normally up to six weeks to get back in the saddle.
- Set realistic weekly goals of how much weight you want to lose, rather than setting your sights on the end goal weight. Don’t set your goals too high though to avoid disappointment. Slow and steady wins the race.
- After the birth of your baby is not the time to be trying fad diets or crash dieting, especially if you’re breast-feeding. If you don’t consume enough calories you run the risk of your body producing less milk, meaning less food for your baby. Not only that but drastically reducing the number of calories you’re eating could leave you feeling irritable, less energetic and less alert, which is not the way you want to feel with a new baby.
- New mums have little time to themselves so it can be difficult finding time to exercise which means that sometimes you need to find ways to exercise with your baby. Strapping your bub into a baby carrier or pram and hitting the pavement for fifteen minutes or more a day can do wonders for your weight loss. Alternatively you could invest in some yoga DVD’s and workout while your baby is taking a nap.
- Make sure you drink plenty of water to stay hydrated and to stave off that thirst that is sometimes confused with hunger. Try adding a slice of lemon to your water to reap some additional benefits such as cleansing the bowel, boosting your immune system and reducing stress.
- Make smart choices when it comes to eating, such as choosing low fat or fat-free dairy products, choosing foods with mono and polyunsaturated fats rather than saturated and trans fats and choosing whole grains which will keep you full for longer.
Image via iphysioperth.com.au
When I was about to give birth for the first time my husband and I expected it to be relatively smooth sailing. We thought that nothing bad could happen to our baby – those sorts of things just didn’t happen to us. But when our midwife told my husband to push the red emergency button in the delivery room as I was in labour we knew that something was very wrong. The room was suddenly flooded with medical staff, most hovering around between my legs with concern written all over their faces. After much pushing, manoeuvring and help from the staff our daughter finally graced us with her presence. It was a nervous time as we waited to hear that sweet cry and when it eventually came I’d never felt more relieved.
We were told that my daughter had been born with shoulder dystocia and that was the reason she’d been stuck in my pelvis. My petit frame and her size probably had something to do with it – she was born at a sizeable 4.375kg or 9.64lb, almost two weeks post-term.
But before we’d had much time for cuddles she was whisked away again because of a high temperature. She was given antibiotics and then taken to the special care nursery, where she would stay for the following week. The reason why she had a temperature was never really discovered nor the reason why she had an abnormal amount of bile sitting in her stomach each day. It was frustrating for us that no one could give us an honest answer to our questions. As first-time parents my husband and I were completely overwhelmed by the entire experience and felt like we were mostly left in the dark about our daughter’s condition but thankfully after 10 days on antibiotics, lots of cuddles and love we were free to take her home.
Suffice to say when I fell pregnant two years later, I realised that I’d been scarred by my first birthing experience and I was petrified about giving birth again. I also realised that I hadn’t been prepared at all for what I experienced, but how do you even prepare for something that you have no idea is coming?
A year earlier, our family had moved to a small outback town in Queensland which meant that this time our baby was to be delivered in Longreach. Initially, I was hesitant about giving birth at a rural hospital because Longreach didn’t have a special care facility for newborns (and I was almost talking myself into believing that something bad was going to happen).
In the last eight weeks of my pregnancy, I’d been leaning towards having a caesarean because I was petrified of the baby getting stuck just as the first one had if I had a natural birth. It was apparent from examinations that I was carrying another big baby but the doctor assured us that everything would be different the second time around. I wasn’t so sure, but of course, he was right.
This time, the doctor recommended that I be induced at 38 weeks so I agreed to have my baby naturally and after a short five-hour labour and only a handful of pushes our son was born happy, healthy and loud and I wondered what I’d been worried about the whole time.
I was completely astounded at how different the entire birthing experience had been the second time around. When I was in labour with my daughter, I remember being on all fours in the delivery room as a doctor shoved a piece of paper under my nose to sign the consent for the epidural. I looked at him with disgust and scribbled on the paper as I screamed for relief. From the time I asked for the epidural until the time I finally felt my legs going numb was just over two hours of absolute torture. I suspect this also played a part in me becoming terrified of the birthing experience.
Of course it’s no secret that every birth is different. Childbirth can come with complications – it’s a fact of life and sometimes terrible things happen. But just because you had one negative experience doesn’t necessarily mean that all of the other experiences will be bad, too. Just as people with fears of heights, spiders or small spaces are told to confront their fears head on, I too decided it was the only way forward.
Image via Karyn Miller
If you’re pregnant then you’ve probably experienced people trying to guess the sex of your baby, even if you aren’t interested in hearing it. If you’ve chosen not to find out the gender then you can bet your buck that everyone around you will have their opinion about the sex and you probably won’t hear the end of it until your bub is born.
So here are some of the most common old wives tales about pregnancy. Some are absurd but equally amusing so let us know if you can relate to any of them:
- If you’re carrying your baby low then you’re having a boy and if you’re carrying high you’re having a girl.
- Legend has it that if your baby’s heart rate is higher than 140 beats per minute you’re going to have a girl whereas if the heartbeat is slower you’ll be having a boy.
- If your looks deteriorate when you’re pregnant you’ll be having a girl because she’s stealing your beauty.
- If your wedding ring swings back and forth when you’re holding it above your belly suspended on a piece of your hair, you’re having a girl. If it swings round in circles you’ll be graced with a boy.
- If you’ve experienced heartburn all throughout your pregnancy it means your baby will be born with plenty of hair.
- If you’re experiencing more acne than you’re used to during pregnancy it means you’re having a girl.
- If you skin is soft you’re likely to be having a girl but if it’s dry you’re having a boy.
- If you’ve been suffering with morning sickness you’ll be having a girl and if you’ve been morning sickness free then it’s a boy!
- If you’ve been sleeping on your left side at night you’ll be having a boy and if you prefer the right side you better start buying pink.
- If you find yourself reaching for your socks at night time because of cold feet, you’re having a boy.
- If you’ve been suffering with lots of headaches you’re having a boy.
- If you’re feeling moodier than usual then you’re having a girl.
- If your locks are glossy and thick then you’re having a boy but if your hair is dull and brittle you’ll be having a girl.
- If the hair on your legs is growing faster than it was pre-pregnancy then you’re having a boy.
- If the linea nigra (dark line on your belly) stretches from the pubic area to your belly button it’s a girl and if it stretches all the way up to your ribcage it’s a boy.
Image via blogcdn.com
As you’re approaching the end of the first trimester, you’re probably feeling better and already looking forward to meeting the new member of your family. The opportunity to see your baby for the first time usually comes at 11-13 weeks in the form of an ultrasound screening test called nuchal translucency (NT), which is used to assess your baby’s risk of Down syndrome and some other genetic abnormalities. You’d also have a blood test at the same time and the chance of your baby having Down syndrome is calculated based on these two tests and your age.
The test outcome is not a conclusive diagnosis. It can’t tell you for sure if your baby will have a Down syndrome or not, it can only give you the probability of it happening. If you want to have a definite ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer, you’ll have to have further testing which comes with a risk of miscarriage (although a non-invasive testing has recently become available at extra cost).
Before you decide to have the test, it’s important to ask yourself why you’re doing it and how you’d react to various possible results. Will you proceed with all the necessary tests and then terminate the pregnancy if your baby is found to have Down syndrome? Would you take the risk of miscarrying a perfectly healthy baby just to find out for sure? Or will you keep your baby no matter what? And would possible high probability score make you stress for the rest of the pregnancy?
All these questions were weighing heavy on my mind the first time I was about to have the scan. By the end of the first trimester I felt already madly in love with my baby and I couldn’t even contemplate an abortion, regardless of what test results said. Besides, even if the results came back , for example, as 1 in 4 probability, which is extremely high, I was still 3 times more likely to have a healthy baby than not and further tests were going to put that baby at risk (non-invasive testing wasn’t available back then). That’s why I was hesitant to have the NT scan in the first place. Of course, it would be nice to end up in the low risk category and gain peace of mind. But what if I didn’t?
Statistics show that only 5% of the women who take the test fall into the high risk group. And of those with high risk, 96% will have healthy babies. Yet the doubt will be there nagging at me. What if? There was also the possibility of family pressure to consider. I wasn’t sure how my family and friends would react in the event of a high probability and I had a suspicion that they might not be as supportive as I’d like (maybe, I was wrong).
I ended up pulling out at the last moment, even though I had the scan already booked. I declined it with my next two babies, too. By that time I’d done all the thinking already and it was a no-brainer. I just went on with my job of growing healthy human beings.
Whether you choose to have the scan or not, don’t do it just because it’s there and everyone else is doing it. Talk to your doctor, weigh up your pros and cons carefully, and get counselling if you need it.
Image by PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com
By Tatiana Apostolova
When I first broke the news of my pregnancy to my friends and family, they warned me about many comments from random people that would make me uncomfortable or thunderstruck.
So, as any first-time-mom would do, I did my homework. I talked to friends who were mothers, searched the internet for ‘likely comments and questions’ and prepared myself well for any sudden attacks, until one day when I was asked the scariest, most unpredictable, and the most disconcerting question.
“Why is your bump so small?”
My instant reaction: I didn’t come across that one while surfing the internet.
My second reaction: “Does this mean there’s something wrong with my baby?”
My third reaction… well by then I had gone into a state of shock, too numb to think or feel anything – not even the “little bump” that I have.
I don’t remember what the lady said after that. She just seemed to be babbling in the air, while I started mapping any “unusual” signs or symptoms that might have meant that the baby was actually not growing well enough.
I couldn’t sleep all night, and I still curse that woman for that careless comment. I had all my documents, clothes and my handbag ready for the following morning, ready to leave for the hospital with the first ray of sunshine; and so I did. I rushed to the midwife clinic first thing in the morning and found myself in a relief only after she checked me and the baby, who was perfect in size, shape and health.
“This is one active bub I’ve seen in a long time,” she said with a soothing smile as she moved the Doppler on my “perfect-sized” bump to catch my bouncy baby’s heartbeat, and simultaneously wiping off my tears that trickled down into my ears. I had not felt such stress in the last eight months as I did in the last eight hours, and the relief was making me sleepy on the clinic bed.
Why would women do this to pregnant moms? Don’t they realize how big an impact can their “just-saying” comments leave on us? Why don’t they understand that midwives would inform women if there’s something to be worried about, and that they should spare themselves from fidgeting with our minds?
According to my midwife and the doctor that checked me earlier that day, it is perfectly normal for women not to gain extra pounds during pregnancy, especially if it’s their first.
So ladies, those with small bumps and those with not, please remember that every woman’s body expands in its own proportion. It’s perfectly normal to have a bump that looks relatively small or even bigger when compared to other women, but there’s nothing to panic as long as your feel the baby move.
Chances are, if you are tall and have good muscle tone, you will carry high and your tummy might not be very noticeable, like mine (Phew!).
Measuring fundal height
Like babies, bumps come in all shapes and sizes. Besides scans, fetal and bump growths are monitored by measuring fundal heights at every antenatal appointment.
Fundal height is measured with any domestic measuring tape. The measure is taken from the top of the pubic bone to the top of the uterus at the point where your bump actually begins to protrude. It is measured in centimetres and should match your baby’s gestational age, within one to three centimetres. For instance, at 32 weeks as myself, your measurement should be between 29cm and 35cm.
However, these measurements tend to change or seem to stay in place for a few weeks in the baby is breech, is turned sideways or has rolled up in a corner.
Image via birth.com.au
By Ayesha Hasan
The word ‘plan’ usually freaks me out. Surely I didn’t escape the corporate world to have a baby just to be told that I need to write a birth plan! And how exactly was I supposed to write it when I’d never given birth before and I had no idea what to expect? Yet, after three births I can see that a birth plan has its place and is not just an attempt to control what you can’t control.
Your support people know how to support you
Sometimes when we’re overcome with pain, we don’t make the best decisions in the moment. With a plan our support people can try to steer us in the direction we’d rather be going, but are too scared to.
After reading a few stories about epidurals gone wrong, I had developed almost irrational fear of epidurals and I wanted to avoid it during labour at all cost. Yet, in the middle of it, I found myself screaming for epidural and I was very persistent. If my partner and the midwives hadn’t known how strongly I felt about it, they would have given in. As it was, they kept on offering alternatives and I got through it. The birth left me feeling elated for weeks. I’m not sure I’d have felt the same way if I had had the epidural.
The plan helps deal with your fears
If you have any fears concerning the birth of your baby (who doesn’t?), the birth plan can help you address those fears, so that you can be prepared. Most likely what you fear will never happen, but having a strategy in pace to manage it gives you a peace of mind.
The birth of my second child was very quick and they say every subsequent labour gets even shorter. So before I was due to give birth for the third time I was afraid that I won’t make it to the birth centre and I’d have to give birth alone at home. What if it happened during the day when my husband was at work? What if the baby came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and I wouldn’t be able to undo it on my own?
I talked to my midwife about my concerns and I half expected her to laugh them off. Instead, she walked me through a process of giving birth at home on my own and encouraged me to have a list of people to call at a short notice who’d be available during the day. I wrote everything in my plan and even though I didn’t end up needing it, it made me feel a whole lot better.
Allow for flexibility
While the birth plan has been helpful for me, I know women who felt disappointed with their birth experience because it didn’t go to plan. It’s important to use your birth plan as a tool and not a standard to measure yourself against. The birth of your child may end up being completely different from what you imagined. Allow yourself the flexibility to change your plan and do what needs to be done. The birth of a baby is a miracle, no matter what. Let it feel like a miracle.
Image by PublicDomainPictures via Pixabay.com
By Tatiana Apostolova
It is no surprise that we gain weight when we’re pregnant – we’re growing a human being inside of our body, so it’s only natural that the numbers on the scales are going to increase over time and those pants are going to get tighter by the day. A lot of women struggle with their body image when they are pregnant, for a number of reasons. Perhaps they were athletic and slim before pregnancy and now that’s all changed, or maybe they were even slightly overweight before they fell pregnant, and now the weight gain has just compounded the issue.
Whatever the reason is that women feel so poorly about their body during pregnancy, it is not the time to be negative about it. Women should try to celebrate the fact they’re carrying a child and embrace the change that comes with it. As well as weight gain there are a whole lot of other changes going in in your body too, but it’s not all bad. Here’s why:
Until after you’ve given birth to your baby you don’t have to worry about your dreaded period and if you breastfeed then it’s normally even longer before it graces you with its presence again. I can’t say I know any women who enjoy that time of the month, so this is definitely something to be happy about when you’re pregnant.
Since your body is getting larger you don’t have to try and squeeze into those tight skinny jeans anymore. Loose fitting and comfortable clothes are a pregnant woman’s best friend and they can still look great too. Maxi dresses are brilliant for pregnant women – they are comfortable whilst still looking fabulous.
When your baby is big enough you’ll start to feel those wonderful first movements which will only get stronger and more frequent as your due date draws closer. Protruding elbows or tiny feet pushing up under your ribs can be painful but there’s nothing better and more reassuring than seeing your baby move.
If you’re normally flat chested and have always wondered what you’d look like with larger breasts, then pregnancy is the time you’ll definitely find out. Because of increased blood volume in your body you’ll notice larger breasts from very early on in the pregnancy and as long as they’re not too painful, embrace the change and enjoy them while they last.
Whilst you’re pregnant there’s no need to use any birth control and it can be a welcome change for those of us who constantly forget to take the pill. Thank goodness it’s one less thing to worry about, especially with the dreaded baby brain.
During pregnancy a lot of women are lucky to have significant improvement in the quality of their hair and nails. Thicker and fuller hair as well as stronger nails are a bonus when you’re expecting.
Sex can be better when you’re expecting. Because of an increased blood flow to the pelvic area some women say that their sex is more satisfying, so that’s definitely something to be happy about.
So if you’re finding pregnancy tough on your body, try and think of the positives. And remember, it’s not forever, and a small price to pay for the bundle of joy you’ll be blessed with in the end.
Image via pregnancyandbaby.com