The key to great sex is great foreplay. Plain and simple. When you first hook up with a partner the foreplay can last for hours. The two of you are up all night talking, kissing and canoodling your way to passionate love-making. Neither of you care that you’ve had no sleep and need to get up for work in the morning. You’re both running on adrenaline. Awesome, isn’t it?!
After you guys have been together for a while, you can begin to lose that passionate honeymoon spark. No one intentionally sets out to lose it, but the lust you once had for each other develops into a deeper love. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with love but it can replace lust. Somewhere along the way lovemaking turns into a quickie whenever you can find the time.
Quite often, women are left feeling unsatisfied and the foreplay, which initiates sex can get monotonous and boring. It all becomes like a routine. Let me tell you, it doesn’t have to. It’s after deep love develops that you should actually be having better sex than when you first hooked up. If you’re not, you’re probably skimping on the foreplay and heading straight to the happy ending. So what’s a girl to do?
This is where fun enters the equation. “Fun” can look like a lot of different things to different people. I’ve got a few suggestions to get you started:
Now role play can be whatever you like. It might involve costumes like a scantily clad maid or nurse. Play the part and lose yourself in the fantasy. Lots of ladies like a man in uniform so get him to dress up like a fireman, cop, doctor or whatever your fantasy is. The key is to have fun while you’re doing it.
Role play can be played outside the home as well. You might want your partner to pick you up from a bar or nightclub, and pretend to be strangers, meet up in a dark picture theatre, whatever floats ya boat. Remember though, if you get caught having sex in public you can get charged with a criminal offense, so just a word of warning; be discrete!
Fun might consist of a bit of bondage. You don’t need to go the whole way, like dressing in rubber suits or buying sex related furniture and props. Unless you want to, of course. Tie each other up with scarf’s or belts and maybe grab a pair of handcuffs. Once again, play the part and lose yourself in the fantasy.
Add sex toys
Add some toys to your sex life. There are thousands of different items on the market. Why not jump online together, have a laugh and talk about what you’d like to try and purchase a few. That in itself can be great foreplay if you discuss what you’d like to do to each other.
Purchase sex games
You can buy sex related board and card games which give you both the opportunity to take turns giving and receiving. If you find talking about sex difficult, these sorts of games can get you to open up and be able to communicate your needs and wants to your partner. They are also a great way to introduce new activities to try out together.
Home-made sex games
A great game to play together is the scavenger hunt. Go around the house individually and meet back in the bedroom with what you’ve found to use as sex toys. You might want to try naked blind man’s bluff. One of you has on a blindfold and tries to reach out and find the other. What about strip poker? Turning everyday kids and adult games into sex games can be a lot of fun. Dig deep into your imagination and discover what you can both come up with.
These activities I’ve listed are just the tip of the foreplay iceberg. Have fun together, laugh, get creative and be daring. If you have any other fun foreplay ideas, please feel free to share them. We’d all love to hear about how you and your partner are getting creative and putting the fun back into foreplay!
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Kim is a writer and SHESAID's resident psychologist. A self-proclaimed tomboy who understands more about relationships and men than she ever will about glitz and glamour. Follow Kim on Google+.