Romance and the boss (when he’s a bloke)

July 20, 2004

Romance and the boss (when he’s a bloke)

Someone who didn’t take Lisa’s advice…
We all know the story. Your boss is smart, dynamic, stylish and successful. You feel great when he smiles at you after you’ve impressed him. He believes in mentoring and guiding you to bring out your very best and he’s not shy about praising you when you deliver. Then, after one too many late nights in the office working on that special project, he starts to drive you absolutely crazy. You want him, oh dear, and how. What should you do?

Take stock
Assess the situation. Ask yourself: Is it really a good idea to make a move on the boss? Is he even interested in you? Is he actually available? How would the rest of the office react if something did happen? How would this affect your career? Is this a risk that is actually worth taking?

Reasons against a romance
Think of the embarrassment if you try to make a move and he backs away in shock. Not to mention the reaction of your co-workers when they find out – and they always find out. Then there is that promotion the whole office has been vying for. How will it look if you are dating the boss and get the promotion? Or will he pass you over for appearances sake even if you are the best person for the job? Then there is the reality of a relationship with this person and the constant talk of work…work…work. Finally, what happens when the hot romance goes cold? Will you really want to see him every day? Will he want to see you?

Reasons for a romance
He is good looking and there is only one of him. You could always find another job. But as a career coach, I would definitely not recommend this as a good career choice.

How to resist
Use association. Whenever you get that feeling and can’t stop thinking about romance with your boss, just think about – or associate the thought with – all of the negative aspects of an office romance. The boring office-talk on romantic weekends away, the scorn of your workmates and above all the potentially devastating impact on your career.

By Lisa O’Brien

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