Spending all day with your partner sounds like bliss – and in the early days, it probably was. But when you’ve been cooped up together in quarantine or lockdown for any length of time too much of a good thing can become…well…too much.
After a day of zoom meetings, home-schooling, changing the laundry between zoom meetings, and trying to do all the things keeping the spark alive in your relationship might be the last thing on your list. But just because life looks a little different these days doesn’t mean you can’t still spice things up in the bedroom. Date nights might be harder to manage, but spending quality time and connecting with your partner is critical – especially in the midst of a world crisis.
Read on for our top tips on spicing things up in your relationship and how to get into the mood when in quarantine or lockdown.
Tips for Getting in the Mood During Lockdown
You might’ve thought all this time together would take you back to the days when you couldn’t keep your hands off each other. What else is there to do, right? But when you’re together all the time it can be easy to take things for granted.
Finding creative and intentional ways to spend time with one another is key and relationships thrive on cultivating that meaningful connection. We’ve gathered our top 7 tips for how to spice things up when you’re spending all day with your partner.
Make it special and dress for the occasion. Whether that means getting gussied up for some fancy cocktails and a date night at home or throwing on a pair of heels and a string of pearls to bring out your sexy side is up to you. When you’re used to taking it all off, leaving something on can not only be intriguing for your partner but can be exciting for you too.
Remind each other how good you look out of your sweatpants and get all dressed up with nowhere to go. You could go all out and get fancy for a special meal at home or let your lingerie see the light of day. Remember, it doesn’t have to be awkward and is a fun way to set the mood and intimacy in motion.
Do a Date Night
Carve out time for a dedicated date night – even if that might look a little different than it used to. There are lots of ways to get creative and start (or stick to) a date night tradition. You may not be able to go to your favourite restaurant, but that doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the date night ambience. Bring the restaurant home to you and order take out from your favourite place instead. Don’t forget to set the mood with your favourite music and romantic lighting.
There are lots of ways you can spend time together and even find new things to do. Visit a museum online, have a movie marathon, cook a new recipe together or try a games night. Dedicated time together, to just enjoy each other’s company, can bring some much-needed joy and anticipation in an otherwise repetitive week.
Modern life is stressful enough, but spending more time together than ever before can quickly lead to increased tension and frustration. You can’t pour from an empty cup though, so stress relief starts with you.
Self-care isn’t just a trendy buzzword and there are many things you can do to nurture yourself. Set boundaries, journal, meditate, spend time in nature, move your body, and find connection with others so you aren’t relying on your partner as your sole source of stress relief. And since negativity can squash sexual desire, reducing stress isn’t just good for you, it’s good for your sex life.
Put It on the Schedule
While some find this opinion controversial, there’s more to scheduling sex than meets the eye. Putting it on the calendar, or having a dedicated sex night, doesn’t have to be a contrived or boring event. Knowing what’s coming can help build the anticipation for the main event and allow you both to get excited.
Play it up by reminding your partner or send a sexy text to build anticipation even more. When you put it on the calendar you not only have something to look forward to, you’re showing your partner they are important to you too.
Play a Sexy Game
Sex doesn’t have to be one moment between you and your partner – it can be so much more. Bring the fun back to your sex life by playing a game with your partner. You can’t go wrong with a classic like strip poker. But don’t let the name fool you – the only rules of strip poker are that you take an item of clothing off every time you lose. A game of Uno works as well as any cards but these aren’t your only options. Truth or dare, setting a timer for touch before you can do the deed, or even playing Twister naked are all sure to get the ball rolling in the right direction. Get creative and see what you and your partner come up with.
Cook Dinner Together
Time together doesn’t have to be fancy and cooking a meal is a great way to spend time together and show your appreciation for one another. Try a new or elaborate recipe together, or surprise your partner by cooking their favourite meal. Crack open a bottle to share and either let your partner watch as your cook for them or work together to create the meal.
Build up the chemistry as you try to impress each other, or simply bask in your partner’s loving presence. Score sexy bonus points by cooking in your skimpiest chef outfit or wearing the classic apron-and nothing else.
Set the Stage with Toys
Adding toys to the mix is a great way to stay connected and add some spice to your sex life. Discuss what kinds of toys you’re open to beforehand and then start shopping. There are toys for you, your partner, and even ones for you and your partner so you should be able to find something to fan your flame. Introducing sex toys is the perfect way to bring the spark back and make things hot and heavy again.
When you’ve spent a lot of time together, things can start to get stale, but that doesn’t mean you have to throw in the towel on a hot sex life. Try these tips to keep your sex life alive during these tough times.
Sylvia Kang is the CEO of Mira, a company that makes it easy for women to track hormones, monitor their fertility, and predict ovulation.