Do you need a hand at work? Up to 25 per cent of women who responded to a recent sex study confessed to masturbating while on the job.
The Under the Covers Sex Survey, recently commissioned by Australia’s largest adult dating site, Adult Match Maker, attracted more than 7600 Australian anonymous respondents.
Developed by Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars (pictured), who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being, AMM’s inaugural sex survey was aimed at shedding light on what blows our hair back both in and out of the bedroom.
I can honestly say masturbating at work has never appealed to me, partly because I spent a large portion of my corporate life so stressed out on the job at a media giant, my hair was falling out. So, what are the benefits of masturbating at work? And would it have helped me de-stress?
Dr Mars says a resounding yes! Well, May is International Masturbation Month, after all. “A quick flick of the bean is revitalising, lifts your spirits and puts a smile on your face. Yay for May, celebration month!” she says.
“Our statistics show no significant differences when it comes to masturbating in private; with a partner (women 79 per cent, men 76 per cent), a friend (women 34 per cent, men 27 per cent) or with someone on the internet (women 49 per cent, men 47 per cent),” she says.
“But when things become a little less private it seems men are more adventurous than women with 38 per cent of men saying they masturbate at work compared to only 25 per cent of women.
“I think men are more likely to take the risk that others might know they popped out for a quick wank because men’s sexuality is more socially acceptable than women’s, made so through myths that men have higher sex drives and irresistible needs. Today, we know this is no longer the case, but the myth prevails.”
AMM’s survey shows women’s top five sexual fantasies are, in order: straight sex; multiple partners; sex toys; kinky sex and bisexual sex.
And when it comes to masturbation habits, women are less likely to masturbate than men, but more likely to masturbate once a week than men. Why is this so?
“Personally, I don’t think it has anything to do with desire, I think it’s about where we are comfortable masturbating, or even the fact that most women use a vibrator and even the little ones are noisy,” Dr Mars says.
“Sometimes, there is nothing more refreshing than reaching for your vibrator and having a quick wank. However, a good way of getting to know yourself sexually is to let go of the pursuit of the orgasm and really take some time to get into the moment, getting to your own feelings and pleasures. And exploring sexual fantasies and porn are good too.”
Interestingly, Dr Mars says masturbation is important for a happy marriage and spicy sex life. “We can get into very ‘efficient’ habits in a marriage: ‘You do this, I do that, we both like it, you come, I come. Thank you very much, would you like a cup of tea?’” she quips. “This is fabulous, nothing wrong with it! But, sometimes we get bored, or we feel like we want something more, or it stops turning us on. This can be one of the reasons for that passion-killer known as mismatched libido.
“It’s tempting to blame the other person, but it takes two to tango and upping your own sexual energy helps you to assert yourself sexually and take control of the situation. Also, if you start to masturbate regularly then it is highly likely that you will think about sex more, gradually start desiring sex more and having sex more.”
So, should we hide our self-pleasuring from our partners or invite them to join in? It’s both, says the good doctor.
“We should strive to include our partners and join in when they do it and ask for some privacy so we can experiment without pressure – this is especially important when life is busy,” she says.
“In the Adult Match Maker survey I asked if people always masturbated alone. Up to 45 per cent of women said yes and 55 per cent said no. So, if you are one of those sharing with someone else, this is definitely going to expand your sexual horizons.”
Images via Huffington Post and News.com.au
Nicole is a Queensland-based writer and bona fide word nerd whose first love (apart from heels) is feature writing. Follow Nicole on Twitter.