7 Discreet Sex Toys That Are So Covert, You Can Store Them In Plain Sight

Nobody will be any the wiser…
Remember that episode of Sex And The City with Miranda’s “goodie drawer”? She kept her nightstand stocked with a vibrator, lube, and some condoms, but Magda (her cleaning lady) replaced the sexy items with a statuette of the Virgin Mary…and some tissues. After an uncomfortable conversation with Magda, Miranda’s “goodie drawer” was back to its original contents – just a bit more organized.
Miranda’s not alone in wanting a special place to keep her vibrator. There’s many reasons why women want to keep our sex toys private. They tend to have a phallic design, society’s taught us that masturbating is for guys only, and some of us have less-than-private shared living spaces to contend with.
Thankfully, there’s a new breed of discreet sex toys in town that are so covert, they don’t need to go into a secret drawer. In fact, a few of them can even pass for contents in a makeup bag or quirky decor…
1. Iroha Plus by Tenga Tori Lovebird USB Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator
This malleable toy serves two purposes. It can perfectly cup your clitoris with its sleek, tongue-like design, or the rounded tip can be used for shallow insertion. Best of all, if this chic pink swan-like toy gets left out on your nightstand, nobody would even look twice.
Buy it here.
2. Lelo Mia 2 USB Rechargeable Clitoral Vibrator
This bullet vibrator is designed for direct clitoral stimulation, and its small, slimline look helps it pass for a cosmetic brush or makeup tool if it’s spotted in your purse.
Buy it here.
3. I Rub My Duckie 3 Speed Massager Vibrator
A warm bubble bath is already soothing, but this three-speed waterproof (obviously) intimate massager takes relaxation to the next level. This duckie looks just like the toy you played with as a kid, but playtime is a little different this time around… Thankfully no one who spots it in your bathroom will be any the wiser.
Buy it here.
4. Rianne S USB Rechargeable Heart Clitoral Vibrator
This silky smooth silicon vibe has multiple speeds and seven – read it: seven – vibration patterns to knock your socks off. Its unique design works well for localized clitoral stimulation, but it looks like a cute compact mirror (one that’ll give you multiple orgasms).
Buy it here.
5. Kiss Me Lipstick Clitoral Vibrator
A trip to the ladies room could be much more interesting with this toy in hand. This travel-friendly vibrator will easily pass for a tube of lipstick because that’s exactly what it’s designed to look like. Just don’t get the two confused.
Buy it here.
6. Swoon Shimmy Bullet Vibrator Gift Set
This two-piece gift set includes a waterproof, three-speed vibrator and arousal balm (aka lube). The vibrator is slightly larger than a tube of chapstick and the arousal balm looks just like a trendy tin of lip salve.
Buy it here.
7. Tingletip Electric Toothbrush Clitoral Vibrator
This mind-blowing clitoral vibrator fits straight over the head of your electric toothbrush and looks so completely unsuspecting that you can literally store it right on the bathroom countertop without any worries someone will figure out what it really is.
Buy it here.
Comment: Have you tried any of these toys? Do you hide your sex toys, or display them proudly?
Tawny is a Texan who’s living in New York City. When she’s not writing about sex, she’s writing about sobriety and mental health on her blog, SobrieTeaParty.com. She loves Mexican food, running, and carefully deconstructing song lyrics. Follow Tawny on Twitter and Facebook.