Couples remain together for many reasons, but if you’re only hanging in there for the sake of the kids, you both need to rethink what you’re doing. I know firsthand just how difficult that decision can be because so many other factors come into play. You may worry if you’ll cope emotionally, physically or financially and if you’ve got what it takes to be a single parent. It is a really tough choice, especially when you have kids.
You may also wonder if the relationship is worth saving. If that’s the case then a brief separation may be all that’s needed. You’d be surprised how miraculous a little time apart can be for highly stressed relationships. Will this effect the kids? Absolutely, however if you work together you may find that brief time apart will actually save your family.
Then there are other couples who have tried everything to stay together. Yet, they know deep in their hearts that their relationship really is over. This is when people remain together specifically for the sake of the kids – and while it’s honorable, they may actually be doing more harm than good.
For one, they need to consider role modeling. By staying together in a loveless or unhappy relationship parents teach their children to do likewise. Therefore, it’s highly likely that their children will also endure unhappy or bad relationships as adults. Instead, it’s much more effective to teach them that separation is okay and that some families function better that way.
Another positive, which takes place after a separation, is that happy people experience far more emotional growth. The parents will find they begin to excel in their lives, whether it be further education, work, or even going on to have a far more happy relationship. This too encourages the children of the separation to move forward.
Health and well being may also improve due to less stress within a household. Regardless of whether a couple argues or not, stone cold silence is just as damaging. In these cases the tension is thick and children aren’t stupid. They know something isn’t right. It’s up to the parents to correct their environment and for some this means a split is essential.
Resentment is yet another factor to consider. People who experience this can begin to resent their partner or even their children. This occurs when they feel trapped in their situation. However, they aren’t trapped and in most cases enduring an unhappy relationship is their choice. The children certainly aren’t responsible for their misery and neither is their partner. This is despite reasons why a relationship sours.
So in closing, separation is a very big decision but unhappy parents need to consider all their options. They just might recognise that while there will be negatives, separation may actually be a better option for everyone. The key thing to remember is that kids are resilient and adjust to new situations, so it’s often the parents who’ll find the separation more difficult.
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