Most of us can say sorry to our boss when we’re running late or to a friend for not returning their call. However, it can be a difficult task to say sorry when it really counts – to your significant other. Now I’m not talking about the type of sarcastic apology that is only said to shut the other person up. Those are just counterproductive and are a sure fire way to add to the drama.
I’m talking about the type of heart-felt apology which desperately needs to be spoken when you and your partner may have been arguing – whether for hours or even days – with no solution. Obviously when this happens something’s amiss within your relationship. Most couples don’t quarrel over nothing, so there’s usually an underlying issue that seriously needs some fixing.
The problem during heated arguments, however, is that the issue at hand can get contorted with many other factors. Things like name calling, blaming, bringing up past arguments and other negative comments are often thrown back and forth. It can get pretty ugly as many of us would have experienced. Emotions are running rife and it’s incredible how nasty loving couples can be toward each other mid-argument. So understandably it’s not ideal to come out with a half-hearted apology in the midst of chaos.
What’s actually happening is that both of you are passionate about what you want from the other person or your relationship. So during an argument both of you are clearly frustrated because you aren’t being heard, understood, acknowledged or ultimately getting your needs met.
This is usually the primary reason why arguments occur in the first place. It’s a way couples resolve those issues which continue to niggle at them day after day until the problem can’t be ignored any longer. So before either of you get to that heart felt apology there needs to be some type of resolution.
This is when some people need time out to think, while others want the matter resolved immediately. Either way both of you need to stop and think objectively, place yourselves in your partners position and attempt to understand their perspective. It’s when this is achieved that arguments begin to reside and get resolved. Primarily this is when both of you need to apologize to save your relationship.
A key thing to remember is that no one is ever 100 percent in the right or wrong regardless of the situation. People’s behavior however hurtful or destructive is a reaction to events and situations. It does take two people to either make or break a relationship and this is how strong couple’s tackle the most serve problems. Essentially they learn when to back off from an argument, how resolve the issue, plan a way to move forward and admit their own faults to save their relationship.