Alone-time

Generation Yes: Why We’re So Afraid Of The Word ‘No’

Saying ‘yes’ all the time might be the wrong choice when thinking about your future. Maybe being fearless is learning how to say ‘no’ sometimes. 

September 4, 2017

23 Excuses Every Introvert Has Used To Get Out Of Going Out

I think I’m coming down with something…

March 29, 2016

5 Ways To Score Some Alone Time These School Holidays

I’ve always greeted school holidays with mixed feelings. Yay to not rushing to school in the mornings! No more school lunches! And if I can convince my kids to get their own breakfast, I might even be able to sleep in one day. But then… where did my alone time go?

RELATED: Fun Things To Do With The Kids These School Holidays

While parenting during the school holidays is more relaxed, it’s still hard work and we, mums, still need our alone time to recharge. Here are some ways you can recover your alone time, even if you’ve missed out on those precious school holiday care spots.

1. Swap child care

Kids love playing with their friends and it often makes your job easier, too, if they have a friend around – they don’t need you to entertain them. Arrange to swap a couple of hours or a whole day of day care. You child’s friend’s mum needs alone time as much as you do and will be only too happy with these arrangements.

2. Swap your skills

Another way to get some child care without paying for it is offering your skills in return. Maybe show your teenage neighbour some makeup tricks or offer to cook dinner for your friend in exchange for babysitting.

3. Hit the gym

The gym crèche is an inexpensive way to have someone look after you kids for an hour or so, and don’t assume it’s only for the littlies. Talk to the creche staff about the ages of the kids they’re getting. Most likely your kids will find lots of school-aged friends to hang out with while you’re working out.

4. Visit grandparents

You know your kids will watch TV and eat sweats the whole time they’re there, but you can pretend that you don’t know. Just sneak out for a few hours and let Grandma handle it.

5. Sign them up for classes

There’re all kind of kids’ classes you can find during school holidays for varying budgets, from art to sports, to science. Choose the ones that your kids are most interested in and more importantly, the ones that don’t require the parent to be present. Let the kids have their school holidays fun while you’re enjoying your alone time.

Image via Pixabay

April 6, 2015

Time Alone: The Ultimate Extravagance?

“Time and silence are the most luxurious things today” – US fashion designer and film director Tom Ford

Have you ever felt like you desperately needed the clear the clutter; to drown out the incessant noise of the everyday? To take a mini-break, just for you? I did just that today – I took off by myself for an indulgent night away, flying solo, for some much-needed R&R away from my beloved husband and two toddlers.

The mother guilt was palpable as I drove away from loved ones with crumpled faces. But, by God did I need some “me time”! Indeed, if there’s one thing I’ve learned as a new mother of two: if you don’t get a day off to yourself to recharge every now and then, you ain’t good to anybody. How can you look after everyone else, if you yourself are too tired and broken?

And so it was that I drove off to my 5-star hotel, with the blessing of my lovely husband, who will shortly be taking his turn to escape to same resort, upon my return. We’ve decided our littlies are too young to leave with anyone overnight and so we’re resigned to spending nights apart, when we can, to restore our sanity. And I’ve had the most fabulous day– I have thoroughly enjoyed some quality travel time alone: sitting in the sun, being still, pampering self with a beauty treatment and drinking wine and feasting on my private balcony. Bliss!

I even actually listened to music and watched a favourite trash TV show uninterrupted – crazy!?

I just desperately needed to find my Zen; sleep deprivation as a new parent can be very debilitating and I couldn’t remember the last time I had a whole day off to myself. However, the psychologist in my family, who shall remain nameless, was a little scathing on the concept of “alone time” – which got me thinking; is this because as late-starting mums in our 30s, with we women increasingly delaying marriage and child birth, are we so used to our own space that the gruelling demands of parenthood are more of a shock?

Do we expect more from motherhood than our parents’ generation? Are we trying to do more: juggle motherhood with a career? Or, are we just better at taking care of ourselves than our parents’ generation? You know when you’ve reached the end of your tether – when you feel like you need to crawl into the foetal position, with a bottle of wine, in the pantry. Life can get so crazy busy, you can lose your sense of self, if you’re not careful.

Today, I needed time, space and silence to be me, first and foremost. Not a wife or a mother – just me. And it’s been absolute heaven! Now, I feel restored, revitalised and ready to return – in fact, I’m terribly missing my little family. For what it’s worth, here’s the tough love from the psychologist: “I don’t think spending time by yourself is necessarily the answer,” she says. “If you come back the next day and your thinking hasn’t changed, then you’ll be just as stressed as before.

“Conversely, you can do the introspection and self-analysis necessary to improve your emotional state without leaving your family … Our thoughts have an extraordinarily powerful impact on our emotions. So, the way to improve the situation is to examine your thinking/self-talk and work out what is causing the stress or anxiety and address these issues. Write all of your concerns down.

“Are you being reasonable and realistic, and if so, what can you do about your stressors? If you don’t do this self-analysis, you can go away a dozen times and nothing will change.” Bit of a Debbie Downer, isn’t she?

What do you think: is time alone necessary? Do you need regular solo getaways to recharge?

Images via pixabay.com

July 27, 2014