Cheating: 1 In 3 Australians Have Done It

Cheating. Have you ever done it? What about your partner? Of course not. They’d never do that to you would they. Yet what if I told you about 37 per cent of the Australian population have done it at one time or another. Would you still be so confident in thinking that your partner has never ever sneaked off to do the dirty? Don’t think for a second that being male makes any difference to the heartbreak of cheating either. The gap is closing in and has been sitting at less than four percent.

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Where do these cheating stats come from?

Now you might be wondering where I’m getting these numbers. Well the Great Australian Sex Census is possibly the place to get stats on sexual behaviour in Australia. With over 17,000 Australian participants, the census collects data from a wide cross section of our public. Some have questioned the validity of responses. Apparently people aren’t very honest about their sex lives. Hmmm, who would of thought? I reckon though if it’s good enough for most of the top news publications in Australia, it’s probably as reputable a sex survey as we’re ever going to get.

The reasons behind cheating

So why do people cheat? Most men’s and women’s motivations are fairly similar. A recent study by a team of geneticists and neuroscientists examined the possibility that genes may have something to do with it. They concluded that genes could account for about 62 per cent of cheating behaviour in men and 40 per cent in women. Therefore, one reason for cheating maybe genetic or passed down through observed behaviour within a family.

Engaging in sexual activity they won’t ask their partner to perform is another one. Desire or to be desired, the thrill of the chase, excitement of a new lover, wanting variety or a shift in their intimate relationship are some more. Plus we can’t rule out the revenge bonk. People discover their partner’s are cheating on them and can’t resist.

The greatest discrepancy lies in the physical desire of men verses the emotional desire in women. Plus cheating men are often satisfied with their relationships but women generally aren’t. These are fairly similar to views on infidelity.

Getting upset about cheating

According to researchers, heterosexual males are primarily concerned about the sex. This might have something to do with feeling possessive of their partner or having doubts about who’s really fathered their children. Women and people of bi or homosexual orientation are more concerned about the emotional attachment their partner might experience. They view infidelity as the ultimate emotional betrayal whereas men see the betrayal as mostly physical.

Tips to spot a cheat

While people are unique, there are some general tell-tale signs that a partner maybe cheating. Men should look at changing patterns in their partners confidence, appearance, happiness and contentment. If they don’t have any explanation like loosing weight, career progression or improved satisfaction in their relationship something could be up.

Ladies – if your man suddenly regains his libido for no viable reason after a dry spell, he could be beginning an affair. Men generally aren’t dissatisfied with their relationship, so he may try to reignite the passion there. It’s only when the affair progresses that men are likely to withdraw.

Cheating trends

Looking at the 2013-14 Great Australian Sex Census, it appears that around 30 per cent of cheaters get caught. So basically that’s a majority. Men seem slightly more susceptible to getting sprung though. Alternately females are more likely to be forgiven. It also looks like the cheating trend is declining. In the previous census (2011-12) cheating rates were roughly 45 out of every 100 people. However the margin between male and female cheaters has remained stable.

So what does this tell us? It seems the battle of the sexes is far from dead. While the cheating rates are almost equal, men are more likely to get caught but not forgiven. Women on the other hand seem to be getting off  lightly (pardon the pun). Not only do they get caught less but when they do there’s a greater chance the relationship might survive. Hmm, it just doesn’t seem quite fair does it? Then again I am talking about cheating. Fair really doesn’t enter the equation does it.


February 24, 2015

Weekend Wit: Life As A Non-Drinking Aussie

Life as a non-drinking Aussie isn’t easy. In fact, I’d liken it to trying to remain a virgin in a whore house. Now we all know there’s usually someone keen who’s trying to bed the virgin, right? Well, being a non-drinker when everyone else is drinking can be much the same.

It doesn’t matter what the occasion either. Family gatherings, barbecues, festivals, sporting events – it’s normal Aussie behaviour to have a drink in your hand.

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I even ended up at a baptist church picnic and the conversion began. Not the religious variety which I had anticipated either. I went along expecting a dry event and reprieve from the relentless onslaught. Yet out came the bottle of bubbly and wham-o! As I passed my plastic picnic glass along the familiar conversation about my abnormality began.

Now if I wasn’t safe among the God fearing Christians…actually strike that. The monks have always had a hankering for mead. Plus they do drink wine in church. Add the fact they were Australian and thinking back I was being totally naive. What was I thinking?

I should have known that if there’s an excuse to crack a can or pop a cork Aussie’s will generally support it. Look at Australia Day? Even though most people need to return to work the next day it’s no deterrent. Our culture dictates we all want to have fun but it also encourages that we should be drinking to do it.

I recent heard a survey on the radio that stated something like 60% of Victorians don’t drink alcohol to get drunk. So I’m not a total alien after all but that does mean that the remaining 40% are out to have a damn good time! Maybe that’s the populations percentage I’m surrounded by?

Now I’m not against having a drink or dozen if that’s what you wana do. It’s just that I’ve been there done that and don’t feel like drinking anymore. The thing I just don’ get is why a non-drinking Aussie has the capacity to make the drinkers so uncomfortable?

Is it because they’re worried their drunken escapades will end up on social media? From what I’ve witnessed I reckon they’re more than capable of doing that themselves. Isn’t it a fact that some drunken Aussie invented the selfie? Probably not but it shoulda been.

As a sober Aussie among the drinkers I can and do join in the fun but sometimes the different wave lengths are a little annoying. Quite often drunk Aussies aren’t nearly as funny as they think they are. It’s amazing what this lot will laugh at and consider funny.

Thankfully the term designated driver is now a valid excuse for choosing coffee over champaz. I would have hated to be a non-drinking Aussie twenty plus years ago though. Driving wasn’t accepted as a valid excuse to remaining sober. They’re weren’t designated drivers. They just had those who weren’t as wasted as the others and they were thrown the car keys! Imagine the peer pressure back then?

Yeah, life as a sober Aussie isn’t for the faint hearted. For many the more times they say no to a drink the more times it’s offered. (That’s a tip for anyone wanting free alcohol BTW) Mind you us teetotalers do come in handy. Which Aussie on a mission wouldn’t want a willing allocated driver for those occasions hey? Come to think of it I do get invited to a lot of outings. Umm, maybe being a non-drinking Aussie isn’t such a bad thing after all?!

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February 14, 2015

How Aussies Celebrate Australia Day

Aussies are customarily a pretty laid back bunch so it makes sense that Australia Day, celebrated on January 26th is basically r’n’r on a grander scale. BBQ’s, fun and fireworks are generally the order of the day.

The local communities plan events around the prefect weather and laid-back lifestyle, so there is always something happening close at hand. Multiculturalism is everywhere and most Australian’s are united in true Aussie pride.

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Granted, the weather is usually superb. It somehow manages to turn it on for the celebrations and is pretty much perfect for outdoor activities all over the country. With all the sun, surf and sand at their disposal the day is typically spent outside in private back yards, local parks, pools or beaches. The water is patrolled by volunteer life savers who are always on hand as a traditional Aussie icon in small red and yellow caps.

If Aussies do want to head further than their back yards or local neighborhood, extra public transport is provided to most larger cities. This is handy, because plenty of Aussies indulge in a few drinks and most have been educated not to take their cars out if they plan to have a few.

This advantage is usually taken as the sun goes down and the masses make their way into the cites to witness the spectacle of firework displays. It’s similar to New Years Eve except there are kids everywhere as there’s no need to wait until midnight. As soon as the sun sets the skies light up in sparkling lights and massive coloured explosions.

As the day draws to a close most Aussies make their way home. As long as they’ve had loved ones to enjoy and share it with, Aussies are pretty content to spend their national day of pride relaxing by the water, swimming, playing cricket, picnicking under the shade of a tree, watching children play and enjoying their freedom. There might be the odd disruption but Australia Day is traditionally quite peaceful, being more about family, community and coming together as a nation.

If foreigners ever want to meet an Aussie, and haven’t visited the land down under, visit a licensed venue on January 26th, particularly in the UK, Bali and other Aussie tourist and backpacker hot spots. Fueled by national pride and a few liquid amber’s, they will probably be a little homesick knowing the majority of Aussies are out celebrating. Shout out the words… Aussie, Aussie, Aussie! If the hear they reply oi, oi, oi shouted back like some national mating call, they are a pretty easy crew to spot!


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January 25, 2015