Why Daughters Rock: Fighting Societal Sexism

Having a healthy baby is surely up there on the scale of life’s most momentous, amazing and precious experiences; it’s a gift unlike no other. And so you would think that a child’s sex is irrelevant – who cares, right? At least, that was the case for my husband and I both times we were blessed with a bouncing, healthy baby – two gorgeous, much-wanted daughters, as in our case.

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Both times, I was certain I was having a boy, but secretly chuffed, actually, to be having girls. I’d always wanted a sister growing up and I love that our girls will (hopefully) always have that special sisterly, best-friend bond; they’ll never be alone, no matter what happens to us.

And yet, both times, before I’d even left the maternity hospital, some no-doubt well-meaning family member, friend or midwife had asked either myself or my husband if we would try for a third baby given we hadn’t yet achieved the miracle of a boy child.

Quelle horreur!? We couldn’t actually – gasp – just be happy with our two girls and be done with it?! No, I/we had failed in the breeding stakes and now we must surely get on to the all-important task of making a boy ASAP!

sexism, baby gender, parenthood, daughters

Excuse me, but f*** that. I’m so done. In fact, we’re both done. A vasectomy is our next pressing task – not more breeding. And we’ve both been a tad shocked and then saddened each time my husband or I have been, quite rudely, asked: “Do you feel like you’re missing out, not having a son?”

Our family is complete and we’re very happy with our lot in life, thank you very much. Besides, what is not to love about having girls? It’s hard to believe that in 2015 there’s still a pervading sense of familial and societal disappointment when a woman/couple doesn’t produce a son. You’d think society had progressed since the time of infamous Henry VIII of England in the Tudor dynasty, who allegedly killed off several of his six wives for not producing a son and heir, but apparently not.

Unfortunately for Hazza’s poor, blameless victims, this was well before science discovered it was actually a man’s genes which determine a baby’s sex. Our bright, curious, loving, affectionate, endlessly fun and wilful daughters aged one and three are wonderful and – long may it last – absolutely adore each other.

I love dressing them up; taking them out  shopping/for babyccinos and reading endless books to them, at their request. They’re boisterous, friendly wrestling is a sight to behold and both can kick a soccer ball in manner of young Ronaldos.

Long live the sisterhood and girl power: I can’t wait to teach them everything I know – feminism included.

Every child is a precious gift – girls included. So, don’t feel sorry for us, thanks very much. Daughters rock!

sexism, baby gender, parenthood, daughters

What do you think? Did you feel pressure to try for a son?

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January 22, 2015

Will You Find Out The Sex Of Your Unborn Baby?

When some friends recently announced they were expecting another child, the age old debate reared its head once again – are you going to find out the sex of your baby?  They were quick to say no, deciding to wait until the baby is born before finding out if they have been blessed with a boy or a girl.  My husband and I on the other hand, looked at each other and wondered how some couples can wait so long to find out.  How do they know what colour to paint the nursery?  How will they know what clothes to buy?

So I decided to compile a list of pros and cons to help new parents make the decision about whether or not to find out the sex of their unborn baby:


  • Most parents choose to find out the sex of their child because they want to be organised.  It means that you can choose the colour for the nursery accordingly and you can buy baby clothes and accessories in the ‘right’ colour.  Although that’s not to say that a boy can’t wear yellow and a girl can’t wear blue, some people just want to have specific colours – they don’t like to be restricted to buying neutral whites and greys.
  • The baby name list can be slashed in half.  As if choosing a name for your baby isn’t hard enough, but having two lists – one for the girls and one for the boys just seems so difficult!  Having only one set of names to ponder over can be far easier.
  • At twenty weeks pregnant some women feel extremely despondent that there is still another twenty weeks or so until their bundle of treasure arrives.  Finding out the sex of the baby gives them a boost – it’s a welcome surprise amongst what can be some extremely hard months for women.  Some find that it helps them to form a stronger bond with their unborn child, making the rest of their pregnancy easier.


  • There is no surprise when your baby is finally born.  You already know if it’s going to be a boy or a girl, so the only surprise you get is seeing if your little one has daddy’s nose or mummy’s eyes.
  • There is a chance that the ultrasound was interpreted incorrectly.  Occasionally, certain body parts can be mistaken for the baby’s genitals which unfortunately means that the sex of the baby is the opposite of what you’ve been told.  All those months of planning for a baby boy or girl could have been a complete waste of time when you discover the true sex of your baby.
  • You miss out on all of the fun while everyone around you tries to guess the sex of your baby.  There are endless lists of old wives tales which claim to predict the sex of your baby.  Part of the fun of not knowing is testing these theories out.  Am I having a boy because I’m carrying so low? Or is the ring swinging back and forth rather than in a circle because I’m having a girl?

Whether you choose to find out the sex of your baby or not should be you and your partner’s decision alone.  Don’t try to be swayed by family and friends who are eager to find out the sex so they can buy appropriate gifts.  Finding out so early is a luxury these days – years ago women didn’t have that option, so if they had to wait, why can’t we?

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By Karyn Miller

June 2, 2014