Best-relationships

Weekend Wit: 10 Tips For The Perfect Wife

If men, in general, wrote up a list of things which resembled the perfect wife, it would probably look something like this, in no particular order – that’s male organisation at work, ladies. If it was a women’s list, well it would be structured in terms of priority (probably in a spreadsheet), but no need to go there.

Tip 1: Learn how to download

There’s not a man alive who doesn’t appreciate a woman who can download content off the internet, especially if it’s their favourite TV show or latest action flick. “Here’s the latest episode of Game of Thrones, hunny” – he’ll be so blown away and won’t even care that you’ve done so illegally and you’re now a “pirate”. Mmm, that might add to the attraction..?

Tip 2: Become a DYI queen

Men loathe having to fix stuff around the house, especially if they do it for a living. So, if you want the gutters cleaned, the lawn mowed, car washed, etc, then DYI ladies!

Tip 3: Encourage his hobbies

So, he’s heading toward 40 and suddenly has an urge to buy that motorbike he’s always wanted or maybe an expensive set of golf clubs to go hang out at the course with his mates. Instead of holding him hostage as you drag him shopping, encourage his hobbies (take out life insurance in the case of the motorbike) and get him out of the house. Now, a great wife would even pack his lunch.

Tip 4: Cook… Often!

That brings us to the next item on the list. It really is true that a way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. It might have something to do with their mothers, who cooked for them and made their favorite meal when they were little boys. Who knows, but feeding him will gain you valuable wife points.

Tip 5: Sex

BJ, HJ, S&M… Enough said. (Probably should have been first on the list, but it is in no particular order, remember!)

Tip 6: Look fabulous

It doesn’t matter if you have the flu, are heavily pregnant carrying his child or tired after a long day at work. Throw away the trackie pants and sloppy tops. You need to look like you’ve just stepped out of the beauty salon. This is especially true when his mates pop over, but be careful not to overdo it. He wants to show you off, not give his mates bait for them to go fishing.

Tip 7: Never say “we need to talk”

All men dread these four little words. They either think that they’ve done something wrong and they are in trouble or you need to talk, in which case they will need to look at least half-interested in whatever you have to say. Either way, there’s nothing in it for them so the perfect wife would never strings these four words together.

Tip 8: Praise him for little things

Men love praise. It doesn’t matter if the only housework he’s managed to do in the past six weeks has been the dishes – at least he did something! A little praise goes a long way. Once again, this probably goes back to their mothers and their childhood, but don’t dare mention that either.

Tip 9: Let him have control the TV remote

What is it with men and the TV remote? It’s a strange phenomenon, isn’t it? Ever wonder what men had hold of before TV was invented. Ok, lets not go there. Anyway, let him have it. If he thinks he’s got an inferred magic power wand. Seriously, what harm can it do? Just as long as he doesn’t aim it at you and press the mute button, it’s all good. (Hey, there’s not a man alive that hasn’t at least thought about it.)

Tip 10: Let him think he’s the boss

Speaking of power, we all know women really run the home. Imagine the state of things if the man was in charge? Two words: bachelor pad! They do like to think they run things, though, so do what good wives do best and don’t remind him about it. You know in your head what’s really going on.

Image via maryloudriedger2.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/the-perfect-wife.jpg

November 15, 2014

Should You Put Out For The Sake Of Your Marriage?

Ladies, it’s time to tackle the controversial topic of the “mercy fuck”. And by this I mean when you take pity on a lustful, randy partner and offer them sex, even if you don’t 100 per cent feel like it.

Just to be crystal clear, I am not talking about rape or unwanted sexual advances; I’m talking about consensual sex, where you may find yourself getting turned on unwittingly by the generous and loving act of pleasuring your amorous significant other.

RELATED: How To Have Better Orgasms This Summer

Now, some prominent Australian sex therapists, such as the always-controversial and alienating Bettina Arndt, have long preached the advantages of regular “servicing” of a man in a relationship. Indeed, last year she hit the headlines with what she claimed was the secret to a truly happy heterosexual marriage: “The truly lucky man is blessed with a sexually generous woman, one who believes in taking one for the team.”

Now that’s a very unfortunate choice of words if you ask me – she made the idea sound distinctly unpalatable and degrading. But does it have to be? Couldn’t “chore sex” turn into swinging-from-the-chandeliers hot sex?

And in a marriage, I think both women and men may find themselves not wanting sex for a variety of reasons – fatigue, stress, kids-sucking-the-life-out-of-you and more.

So, should you really put out for the health of your relationship, and/or for your own personal well-being too? The health benefits of sex are both well-documented and varied: good sex can boost your immune system and your libido – kinda like fine wine or chocolate, the more you have, the more you crave – and it even lowers your blood pressure and heart attack risk.

But is it too compromising to offer sex if you’re just not 100 per cent feeling it? SHESAID went in search of answers from the good doctor herself, leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein (pictured). Below, she shares her wisdom and insight on this tricky and divisive topic:

sex, mercy fuck, relationships

Should women be expected to put out for a mercy fuck?

I really think this is a case-by-case basis, but women need to start seeing this as something nice they are doing for their partner. Just like sometimes we want our partners to take the trash out, sometimes we might or should just have sex with our partners when we don’t 100 per cent feel like it.

Say, in the case of a tired, new mum, is a mercy shag an important way of reconnecting with your partner?

Sex can be a way to show your partner that you love them and reconnect. You might be tired if you have small kids, but men – especially Australian men – are taught to see the physical as a way of showing love. In a country that doesn’t encourage men to be open with their emotions, this is one way they show and can feel love. If you are exhausted, you might not want to go the full way, but some affectionate touching and kissing might be all that is needed.

And there are other things that a couple can do to increase intimacy and pleasure without intercourse – anything where skin-to-skin contact is involved. Even just being able to stimulate each other’s genitals or even an all-over massage with a sexy twist.

Can women (or men) get in the mood for sex during the actual act?

I do truly believe that even if you are not totally wanting sex, once you start to get into the act, your feelings might change and sexual desire might kick in. Start with some foreplay without the promise of intercourse and see how things progress. It might just be a night or touching and kissing or it might turn into a night of wild, crazy unexpected passion.

Is a mercy fuck an act of generosity and kindness in a marriage?

It’s important that your sexual relationship is not always a mercy fuck, but I do think from time-to-time it’s something you should do. Keep in mind however, that compromises are key. You might not feel like intercourse, but maybe there are others ways to be intimate and physical with your partner.

How important is sex in keeping the spark alive in a relationship?

Sex has so many benefits, both physically and mentally, and is important to connect a couple, but it’s important a couple thing outside the square when it comes to their sex life. It’s not always about penetration, but it’s the “sexy time” that’s important in a relationship: time for you and your partner to desire each other, make each other feel loved and wanted and pleasure each other.

What do you think? Is a mercy fuck ever OK?

Image via www.sodahead.com

October 22, 2014