Better-sex-life

Designer Vaginas: Can New Technology Save Your Sex Life?

Fancy a revitalised and improved vagina, ladies? A new non-invasive and inexpensive laser vaginal rejuvenation treatment is being hailed with the life-changing power to restore vaginal tissue and cure vaginal atrophy – and save your sex life in the process. Thank you, science!

RELATED: Hot Sex Secrets: Can Men Orgasm Without Ejaculating?

Vaginal atrophy, also called atrophic vaginitis, is the thinning, drying and inflammation of the vaginal walls due to women’s bodies producing less estrogen. It commonly occurs during breastfeeding and after menopause. Cue uncomfortable vaginal dryness, thrush and vaginismus – oh the joys!

Now, hope is on the horizon if you’re no longer as juicy Lucy as you’d like. Indeed, this surgery-free, vaginal rejuvenation Mona Lisa Touch treatment, as it’s also known, could well save your sex life says Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars (pictured), who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being.

vaginal atrophy, vaginal dryness, designer vaginas

Dr Mars also believes the treatment is very exciting from a natural medicine perspective. “What we see is a relatively non-invasive and inexpensive treatment solution which can treat the problem of vaginal atrophy and – especially when used in combination with the ancient Chinese arts – cure it,” she says.

“At any time in your life when oestrogen diminishes vaginal atrophy can occur. The PH balance of the vagina changes and with this change often comes itching, dryness, thrush and a host of other sometimes painful complications.

“The new laser therapy rejuvenates the vagina in the same way laser therapy can rejuvenate the face. Your doctor can see the difference, but it is not so much about changing the appearance of the vagina as changing the function.”

vaginal atrophy, vaginal dryness, designer vaginas

And while vaginal rejuvenation may seem like a special, new brand of torture to some – for others, it’s a sure-fire way to boost your sex life, not to mention your poor vagina in the process, with minimal risks.

“Many women will only experience mild symptoms of vaginal atrophy. Dryness and the change of PH can be mediated with lube and treatments for the occasional bought of thrush. However, for those with major symptoms, laser can be a life-changer and the risks are much less than surgery,” Dr Mars says.

“In some cases over time bodies will heal, however, a lack of sexual responsiveness over time tends to lead to a lack of desire and when vaginas don’t receive attention, they tend to become tight and unresponsive. Laser surgery brings back the physical responsiveness and with some physical therapy and sometimes a bit of counselling the rest can follow.”

Treatment costs are about $400 per treatment, with some women cured in a single appointment, Dr Mars says. More severe cases may require further treatment. See your GP for more information.

vaginal atrophy, vaginal dryness, designer vaginas

What do you think? Is vaginal rejuvenation special, new torture or an amazing scientific discovery?

Images via thedailybeast.com, theglow.com.au, cosbeauty.com.au

August 10, 2015

Should You Put Out For The Sake Of Your Marriage?

Ladies, it’s time to tackle the controversial topic of the “mercy fuck”. And by this I mean when you take pity on a lustful, randy partner and offer them sex, even if you don’t 100 per cent feel like it.

Just to be crystal clear, I am not talking about rape or unwanted sexual advances; I’m talking about consensual sex, where you may find yourself getting turned on unwittingly by the generous and loving act of pleasuring your amorous significant other.

RELATED: How To Have Better Orgasms This Summer

Now, some prominent Australian sex therapists, such as the always-controversial and alienating Bettina Arndt, have long preached the advantages of regular “servicing” of a man in a relationship. Indeed, last year she hit the headlines with what she claimed was the secret to a truly happy heterosexual marriage: “The truly lucky man is blessed with a sexually generous woman, one who believes in taking one for the team.”

Now that’s a very unfortunate choice of words if you ask me – she made the idea sound distinctly unpalatable and degrading. But does it have to be? Couldn’t “chore sex” turn into swinging-from-the-chandeliers hot sex?

And in a marriage, I think both women and men may find themselves not wanting sex for a variety of reasons – fatigue, stress, kids-sucking-the-life-out-of-you and more.

So, should you really put out for the health of your relationship, and/or for your own personal well-being too? The health benefits of sex are both well-documented and varied: good sex can boost your immune system and your libido – kinda like fine wine or chocolate, the more you have, the more you crave – and it even lowers your blood pressure and heart attack risk.

But is it too compromising to offer sex if you’re just not 100 per cent feeling it? SHESAID went in search of answers from the good doctor herself, leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein (pictured). Below, she shares her wisdom and insight on this tricky and divisive topic:

sex, mercy fuck, relationships

Should women be expected to put out for a mercy fuck?

I really think this is a case-by-case basis, but women need to start seeing this as something nice they are doing for their partner. Just like sometimes we want our partners to take the trash out, sometimes we might or should just have sex with our partners when we don’t 100 per cent feel like it.

Say, in the case of a tired, new mum, is a mercy shag an important way of reconnecting with your partner?

Sex can be a way to show your partner that you love them and reconnect. You might be tired if you have small kids, but men – especially Australian men – are taught to see the physical as a way of showing love. In a country that doesn’t encourage men to be open with their emotions, this is one way they show and can feel love. If you are exhausted, you might not want to go the full way, but some affectionate touching and kissing might be all that is needed.

And there are other things that a couple can do to increase intimacy and pleasure without intercourse – anything where skin-to-skin contact is involved. Even just being able to stimulate each other’s genitals or even an all-over massage with a sexy twist.

Can women (or men) get in the mood for sex during the actual act?

I do truly believe that even if you are not totally wanting sex, once you start to get into the act, your feelings might change and sexual desire might kick in. Start with some foreplay without the promise of intercourse and see how things progress. It might just be a night or touching and kissing or it might turn into a night of wild, crazy unexpected passion.

Is a mercy fuck an act of generosity and kindness in a marriage?

It’s important that your sexual relationship is not always a mercy fuck, but I do think from time-to-time it’s something you should do. Keep in mind however, that compromises are key. You might not feel like intercourse, but maybe there are others ways to be intimate and physical with your partner.

How important is sex in keeping the spark alive in a relationship?

Sex has so many benefits, both physically and mentally, and is important to connect a couple, but it’s important a couple thing outside the square when it comes to their sex life. It’s not always about penetration, but it’s the “sexy time” that’s important in a relationship: time for you and your partner to desire each other, make each other feel loved and wanted and pleasure each other.

What do you think? Is a mercy fuck ever OK?

Image via www.sodahead.com

October 22, 2014

4 Essential Sex Toys For Better Sex

Couples of all ages can boost their love life with some sex toys and aids. It not only makes sex more interesting but will  improve the experience for both partners. After a review of the most essential items, we’ve come up with 4 must have products which will improve sex for everyone.

Dual-stimulating vibrators

These little contraptions are a great invention for couples. There are some different types but the most effective variety fits inside the vagina, stimulating the clitoris and follows the shape of the woman’s body to rest on the labia. They have been designed to please both partners during intercourse, both in and out of water. Most have been created to stay in place, despite the thrusting motion which occurs during intercourse. Some are better than others, so check out different types before you make a purchase.

we vibe

Penis pumps

Penis pumps and cock rings are often used together. Firstly, penis pumps work like a vacuum and can improve an erection; making it larger (longer and wider) and last longer. There are air and water designed pumps available and some claim to increase penis size, considerably, when used frequently. They can be used when an erection is difficult to achieve or to improve the size and duration of an erection.

penis pump

Cock rings

Cock rings also improve performance. They are placed over the penis prior to it being erect and positioned to prolong the erection. There are heaps of different varieties; from single to multiple rings, vibrating or non-vibrating, made from different materials, glow in the dark, reusable or disposable and now they even come in various shapes. They are the ultimate little device, which can even be bought from some restroom, vending machines if you want to try them out.

4 essential sex toys for every couple

Lubes and gels

Sexual lubricants are considered sex aids, rather than toys. They are available in a huge range of places including supermarkets, service stations, pharmacies, etc. There is both edible and non-edible varieties, plus new technology have developed some which provide a different sensation, when used singularly and combined. For example, the man will experience a warming sensation, while his partner will experience tingling.

For mature couples, lubes and gels are essential, as bodily fluids reduce with age particularly for menopausal and post-menopausal women. They are also exceptionally useful to use with other sex toys. If lubrication isn’t an issue, try them out anyway and play around with different types. They aren’t expensive and are great to have in your bedside table.

personal lubricant

As you can see, sex toys are way more than vibrators and you don’t have to dive into the S&M real, to improve your sex life. Although, after Fifty Shades of Gray, bondage isn’t considered that kinky anymore. There are plenty of couples ready to give handcuffs a go!

There is, of course, a massive range available for those who are more adventurous. With new products continuously being developed, a trip or click to the adult shop is well worth another look.

Images via i01.i.aliimg.com, encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com, ridgehkr.com, ecx.images-amazon.com

October 15, 2014

Sex Toys You Didn’t Know You Already Had

Sex toys used to be called martial aids, and still are in some places, because the list of items couples can use included way more than what they sold in adult shops. Although this industry is booming and there are new items available all the time, there are plenty of everyday things couples can use to spice it up. Here’s a few ideas to add a bit a variety to your sex life that you probably have in your home already.

Food

When was the last time you went to the kitchen and looked for tasty spreads or creams, fruit and veggies, to use with your partner? Use your imagination, get creative and go hunting! You can also change the sensation if you heat or cool down particular foods. Imagine heated Nutella, for example, yum! The warmth will also increase blood flow so it’s a win-win!

Vibrating electric razors

Now, this may sound a bit out there, but many electric razors actually vibrate and they are waterproof. Detach the top to avoid cutting yourselves and have a play. You’ll find they are really similar to the smaller vibrators on the market. They are much better for foreplay because they can be a bit sharp if you try to use them using intercourse.

Hair ties

You might wonder what a little hair tie has to do with sex but think about cock rings for a minute. They are made of all sorts of things so why not try a hair tie. The rubber ones without the small metal clasp are better because there is a chance the metal piece can cut you both. Also, be careful not to put it on too tight or leave it on too long. It’s about restricting the blood flow, while the penis is engorged, but eventually the blood has to be able to able to flow.

Mobile phones

Yep. Yet another thing to use your mobile for. You can either set it to vibrate and your partner can continue to call you, while you strategically place it or how about this; there’s now an app for this too. MyVibe by MyPleasure has developed an app to control your phones vibrations from short and quick to long and slow. Is there no end to what you can use your mobile for? Apparently not! By the way, you might want to give it a clean before and after to use it. These things are covered with bacteria.

Peppermint mouthwash/peppermints

Peppermint mouth wash or mints can give your partner a cool, tingling sensation during oral sex. Plus the peppermint actually increases circulation and blood flow. Avoid direct contact with the skin, however, because it can be painful for sensitive areas. This works for both partners, so why not take turns?

Cooking oil

Want to go for a bit of slip and slid? Lotions are ok but oils, particularly cooking, can add a new dimension to the word fun. You can use it for foreplay to give your partner an amazing, full body massage or during intercourse. You might have a few problems making a connection, as you slip and slide all over each other but it’s well worth trying. If you like it, you might want to go and invest in tastier, edible stuff because cooking oil doesn’t taste the best.

October 12, 2014

Sexy Foods


What’s an aphrodisiac, I hear you ask? Broadly, an aphrodisiac is a substance that can stimulate your sexual desire, whether through taste, texture, smell or even shape. Aphrodisiac foods have been used around the world for hundreds of years is to incite passion and lust. Ingredients that have been used for their reputed aphrodisiacal qualities in the past range from the bizarre – shark fins and baboon testicles to the ridiculous – canary tongue. Thankfully there are a few more palatable, humane, and easily obtainable erotic ingredients available for those of you who in the mood for love…

We?ve selected a some quick sexy foods for you to get your teeth into, because the more time you spend in the kitchen, the less time you spend on other things? They?re all in season so not only will they taste spectacular, and they won?t cost you the earth either!

Artichoke – these round green bulbs open up like a flower bud and taste exquisite. To prepare trim the stalk and remove the first few leaves before cutting the top 1/4 off the artichoke. Cook in boiling water for 15 minutes then drain. To eat an artichoke is quite like undressing it – tear the leaves off and dip each in tangy vinaigrette then feast on this most delicate vegetable by scraping the leaves between your teeth to remove the flesh.

Asparagus – perfect to tantalise romantic passions, these verdant, phallic looking veggies are easy to prepare and delicious to eat. Simply blanch in boiling water until they are bright green and serve with a drizzle of good quality olive oil, a squeeze of lemon, a grind of salt and pepper and a pinch of salty capers. Eat with your fingers. See, sexy isn’t it?

Avocado – is it a fruit? Is it a vegetable? Well, the Aztecs thought it was something else entirely, calling it ahuacatl, meaning ‘testicle.’ (Ah! Thought it looked familiar!)Its creamy texture lends it to all sorts of culinary fun and games… The smooth skinned fuerte and the dark textured skinned hass avocados are both in season now. They are ripe when they are ever so slightly soft to the squeeze…Eat on its own with a crack of fresh black pepper and a squeeze of lemon juice.

Good sex needs plenty of energy. Raw food processes far more minerals and vitamins than cooked food. For a better sex life, eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, and drink ginseng tea. Eat for the seasons – chilled watermelon on a boiling hot day or piping hot nourishing soup in darkest winter.

For the ultimate in sexy eating, try a blindfolded picnic. First you and your loved one should spend some time picking delicious foodie morsels to tempt each other with. Vary the textures, temperatures and flavours ? some suggestions in addition to the love foods above include dark bitter chocolate, tart raspberries, succulent pear, juicy mango, decadent runny brie cheese, salty capers, fruity olives, slippery oysters, chilled champagne? your only limited by your imagination?

A word of caution. Choose your picnic location wisely, with all this sexy food, things could get a little out of control so unless you are an exhibitionist, you might feel more comfortable closer to home.

Blindfold your partner then choose a morsel of exotic food to have them sample. Tease them with the food while you feed it to them – will it be salty, spicy, sweet? Use your fingers. Watch their reactions as they devour each tidbit with pleasure. Now it?s your turn?

October 2, 2002