Say hello to a whole new world of sexual boundaries.
Halloween is better when you share it with your bestie.
We’ve always secretly hoped these two would work it out.
The value women place on relationships tends to vary. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never had one. But i’m entirely cool with that. I’m the first to admit that I’m a driven, self-absorbed person. I’ve always got three or four projects on the go and the centrepiece is always me. There’s not much room in my life for anyone else, so I’m generally bent on a fly-by-night romance rather than a relationship. That’s fine. That’s how I like it. That, to me, feels normal.
But I know lots of women who are in one relationship after another after another. When they’re not, they lament the lack of a man in their lives until the next one comes along. I don’t understand it. How can these intelligent, talented, switched on girls be so governed by the presence or absence of a partner? Women who have their own lives, careers, stories and are still not satisfied? Really?
I’m not here to judge, but I’ve always wondered why these women are so willing to put themselves through the anxiety of one relationship, let alone multiple relationships, in their 20’s. I’m very good at mopping up the mess after their latest break-ups. It’s psychological torture to watch them suffer. But when the next fella comes a-knockin’, it’s like the past never happened and the cycle starts again.
What?! In my early 20’s, I’ll admit I thought these girls were somewhat…lacking. I was perfectly satisfied without a relationship. However, over the last couple of years, I’ve been examining my mindset. It appears that the majority of the population craves some sort of romantic partnership at some point. Regardless of the complications, frustrations and paranoia, the happy parts are seemingly worth it. Perhaps that’s why people look at me strangely when I tell them, “I don’t do boyfriends.”
I will admit that sometimes, when I see couples walking down the street, I get a warm, fuzzy feeling. I may even feel a pang of jealousy. But I don’t need to indulge that. I saunter past and make eyes at the next cute guy I see, my primal instinct sufficiently quashed. The problem is I’ve started to wonder whether I ignore this primal instinct because I want to, or because it’s not part of my ‘image’. Worst of all; I’ve started to feel guilty about it.
I’m aware that there are other women with the same attitude, but by and large, most of my female friends are at least open to having a relationship. This, contrary to what I used to believe, makes me the weird one. By all good reasoning; I am the one who is lacking. But lacking what? The ability to open up? This isn’t true. The ability to relate to people? Definitely not. Maybe I lack the ability to embrace change. I really don’t have the answer yet. At this point in time, I’m pretty set in my ways when it comes to the concept of coupling. However, when I observe the euphoric highs of my boyfriend-ed up buddies (when the going’s good) and the iron-bound love my parents have for each other, I know I’m missing something.
I’ll probably be that clichéd alpha-female who is swept off her feet by the right guy. If that happens tomorrow, or in 10 years, well, I’m open to it. But for the time being, I’m happy to be accountable to nobody, and indulge numerous outrageous flings. It suits me. So to other women who don’t like the idea of partner-dom; you’re not alone, you’re not a freak and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. The time for relationships will come, but maybe it’s just not right now.
Image via Askmen.com
Talking about your sexual fantasies in bed is a great way to steam up the windows. You can even have story time, where each of you contributes to the story and builds it into something worthy of the X-rated video industry.Degradation is OUT
Things can get a bit heated up, naturally, but demeaning comments are unwelcome. Digging your nails into your guy’s back and calling him uncomplimentary names won’t score you any brownie points. Likewise, if he starts labelling you in unpleasant terms, chances are, he’s going to get your nails down his back anyway! Of course, it depends on the couple, but best not to go too far until you know who’s comfortable with what, or things could get out of hand.
What to say
Tell him how you love what he does to you and how he makes you feel.
- Explain how you’ve been desperate to be alone with him all day, all week or since you met.
- While touching him all over, ask if he likes this, or that, and wait for him to answer.
- Say his name.
- Compliment him on his body, his kissing, the way he uses his tongue or hands, or how he smells.
- Don’t forget to mention the obvious body part, and how you like it!
What not to say
- Anything that can wait till afterwards!
- How hot his best friend is.
- How you’ve had better!
- Perhaps he should try a different brand of toothpaste or deodorant.
- Are you horny because of me, or just horny in general?
- Are you in yet?
By Gina Luca
* Gina is a freelance writer whose passion for talking to people on the Internet provides much inspiration for her writing.