Remember the hilarious Sex And The City episode when prudish Charlotte became no enamoured with her “rabbit vibrator” – that she didn’t leave her house for days and her BFFs had to perform an intervention? Do yourself a favour and check it out if you’ve never seen it.
But can a new buzzy friend for your top drawer actually strengthen your relationship, as well as boosting your sex life? Ooh yes, yes, yes!
That’s the finding of the inaugural Durex Sexsus Report – an online study conducted this June among more than 1000 Australian men and women aged 18-39.
Key report findings include:
- Three in five (59 per cent) respondents who own a sex toy feel more intimate with their partner when using it.
- Aussies are “getting busy” using their sex toys a whopping 3.6 times a week.
- Four out of five Australians believe it’s more acceptable to discuss sex toys than ever before, but more than half wish they owned one but are too afraid to try it out.
- Men are more likely to purchase a sex toy for their partner’s enjoyment, or to increase intimacy with their partner.
- Women are more likely than men to buy a sex toy for their own pleasure.
In addition, the warmer weather in Queensland makes for hotter sex too: the “sunshine state” is getting more buzzed in the bedroom than any other Australian state or territory – 70 per cent versus the national average of 62 per cent.
The findings – which coincide with the launch of Durex’s new adult toy range via www.durex.com.au/adult-toys – reveal couples are achieving a new level of playfulness, passion and intimacy into the bedroom, says Durex Brand Manager Suzanne Legg.
“Adult toys are a completely normal and healthy part of our sex lives,” Ms Legg says. “The Durex Sexsus Report confirms what our sexy-radar has been telling us for a while – adult toys are no longer a taboo.
“It’s fantastic to see that more than three quarters of Aussies believe adult toys open up a whole new spectrum of sensual possibilities – we’re really pleased intimate pleasure is being taken seriously between the sheets.
“For those who are still a little shy, the new range of Durex adult toys are available online and delivered super-discreetly to service the one in four respondents who have not bought a toy because they feel too uncomfortable going in to a store.”
From vibrating massagers and bullets through to sensational rabbit vibrators, the toys are ergonomically and elegantly crafted with a velvet-soft finish (pictured). Prices range from $49.99 for the Durex Teasing Touch stroker, through to $149.99 for the Durex Extreme Thrill rabbit vibrator (pictured).
And Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars (pictured), who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being, concurs: she too believes sex toys are good for relationships.
“Sex toys add a bit of excitement to a relationship and can liven up your love life – as long as it’s a good quality sex toy and not a novelty item; make sure you do your research to get the full effects of a high-quality one,” Dr Mars says.
“You don’t want hard, inflexible sex toys and make sure you also use a good quality lube and the right kind of lube for your particular sex toy. A good lube is a bit stringy and you want to use a different one for vaginal sex than anal sex. Anal lubes can cause changes in the pH of your vagina so you need to be careful that you use them carefully and don’t cross-contaminate.
“Sex toys can take you outside of your comfort zone, increase your pleasure and expand your repertoire.”
Australians are more sexually curious and adventurous than ever before, a recent sex study has revealed.
The Under the Covers Sex Survey was commissioned by Australia’s largest adult dating site, Adult Match Maker, in late 2014. Developed by Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars, who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being, it primarily focussed on sexuality and sexual fantasies.
More than 7,600 Australian respondents answered AMM’s inaugural sex survey anonymously, shedding light on what blows our hair back in the bedroom. So, is straight sex really the norm anymore? Apparently not! And women are more sexually bold and willing to explore and take risks than ever before, according to the sex survey.
“One of the major findings is that we may not all be as straight or as sexually conservative as we think we are,” Dr Mars says. “Women in particular seem to be up to some interesting things!”
Key sex survey findings included: “kinky sex” is a popular fantasy with 60 per cent of respondents, and post-Fifty Shades of Grey, BDSM (bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism) is popular, with 30 per cent of respondents including it in their list of sexual fantasies.
And look out heterosexual blokes, you may have more competition than ever before; 36 per cent of women identified as bisexual and the heterosexual women who took part in the survey are 50 per cent more likely than men to fantasise about women and 50 per cent more likely to act on their fantasies.
In addition, there’s some key differences between what men and women fantasise about.
“Men have a wider range of sexual fantasies, scoring higher in all categories and are more likely to be drawn to hardcore activities such as golden showers and porn,” Dr Mars says. “Women, on the other hand, are more likely to fantasise about sex toys, tantric sex and their partners.
“But 30 per cent of both women and men like the idea of strap-on sex.”
So, what’s so great about strap-on sex?
“The short answer is,” says Dr Mars, “there are all sorts of spots in the anus and vagina that don’t get the attention they might during sex, or perhaps they do get attention but not at the same time, the prostate gland and the penis come to mind.”
Other key survey findings concern our sexual identity. For, some 25 per cent of respondents identified as bisexual, 0.4 per cent of women identified as lesbian, 1.6 per cent of men identified as gay and a further 5 per cent said they are unsure about their current sexual orientation.
Dr Mars says while the lesbian and gay figures are in line with Australian population estimates, the percentage that identified as bisexual or unsure far exceeds previous population study estimates which put the nation’s bisexual population at less than two per cent.
So, in the wake of the sex survey, what’s Dr Mars’ overall advice when it comes to exploring our sexuality? She believes we need to be more light-hearted and pleasure-focused in our sexual thinking.
“When we seriously consider sex we tend to think about health and disease rather than considering the links between sex health, mindfulness and quality of life,” she says. “It’s time we started exploring and understanding our sexuality and the ways it can help us to live happier healthier lives.”
What do you think? Is this in line with your sexual fantasies?
Images, in order, via nypost.com, supplied and www.timeanddate.com.
Introducing sex toys into a relationship can not only enhance intimacy between you and your partner, it can also add a new lease of life to your bedroom activities. Sex toys allow us to discover new pleasures. When you’re able to share that with your partner you are well on your way to an exciting and more fulfilling sex life.
There are plenty of sex toys that have been specifically designed to be used with a partner, often referred to as couples’ toys. These pleasure enhancers generally focus on enhancing female pleasure but provide a stimulating experienced for the male partner too.
We’ve picked 5 of the best sex toys for couples:
1. The Reversible Stroker
Most commonly referred to as male masturbators, the Stroker is a great and inexpensive toy that can be easily used by a couple. The inner side offers stimulating ridges that simulate the sensations of oral sex, whilst the outer side offers soft flexible nodules which provide an exciting stroking sensation. Strokers are literally ‘stroked’ up and down the shaft of the penis providing stimulation to the male partner. They can be used as part of foreplay and can be particularly helpful to couples who may be experiencing signs of erectile dysfunction. The use of a stroker will certainly help get your man in the mood.
It is always recommended to add a water-based lubricant when using a stroker to enhance the sensations and avoid any friction.
2. Vibrating Love Ring
Love rings, penis rings or cock rings as they are commonly known, help restrict the flow of blood to the penis, helping to maintain an erection for longer. Rings like the Dorcel Power Clit are great for women too as they are made with a protruding section featuring raised nodules which stimulate the clitoris during intercourse. A simple push button controller causes both the ring and the clitoral stimulator to vibrate, therefore enhancing pleasure for both partners.
Rings made from silicone, like this one, stretch to accommodate most girths and with a little waterbased lubricant will easily slide down the shaft of the penis and into position. Be sure to remove the love ring before your partner falls asleep or he may wake up to find he’s restricted a little too much blood.
This is a toy for couples who are keen to take their bedroom antics out of the bedroom. Vibrating eggs provide internal vibration stimulation for women. The remote can be given to your partner to control the sensations hereby enhancing the overall experience. The egg is worn internally making it very discreet and ideal for couples looking for a more risqué experience can take this anywhere they wish. The Dorcel Remote Control Vibrating Egg features 10 different vibration settings, is waterproof, wireless and virtually silent.
This innovative couples toy is the first non-invasive sex toy designed to be worn during lovemaking. Considering 70-80% of women find it difficult to reach orgasm unless clitorally stimulated, toys like FixSation provide clitoral stimulation whilst still looking pretty sexy.
Worn like underwear, FixSation features an intense vibration pack which cradles the clitoris. As the underwear section is completely open, it not only looks seductive, it doesn’t get in the way of love making. FixSation features 5 stimulation modes that progress in intensity. It is rechargeable via a USB cable (included) and comes with its own satin pouch for storage. The device is easily removed from the underwear for easy cleaning.
5. We-Vibe 3
We-Vibe 3 was the first couples’ toy designed to be worn during lovemaking. The device is c-shaped for simultaneous clitoral and G-spot stimulation and is worn by the women during lovemaking which in turn provides vibrations on your partners penis. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of room for both your partner and the toy, and a little water-based lube is all you need. We-vibe 3 is completely waterproof – perfect for use in the bath, shower or spa. It’s rechargeable and comes with a remote control too. It has 6 different vibration modes and can of course be used with or without a partner. It comes in its own discreet storage case keeping it safe and clean at the same time.
It is always recommended to use a hygiene spray with your sex toys both before and after use. This is even more important when using sex toys with a partner to avoid the risk of any infection. Hygiene sprays are available from as little as $9.99 and well worth the investment.
Miss Tickles is the resident sexpert and sex toy party princess at Tickle and Delight. Miss Tickles travels the country bringing Sex-U-Cation to the women of Australia and New Zealand in the privacy of their own homes, surrounded by friends where they can laugh and learn together. Find out more at www.tickleanddelight.com.
Fess up – do you enjoy sex toys with your partner?