Ok, let’s face it, relationships are rarely perfect and, if you’ve found that special person you want to be with, then some relationship advice can come in handy. You may need to reconcile a particular problem, maybe you’re looking for a better way to manage some parts of the relationship or perhaps things have gone a bit stale.
Of course, it’s usually possible to talk to your partner about any problems in the relationship, and sort them out between you. Taking advice from good friends and family can also help, but if you find things aren’t improving don’t be afraid to visit a third party who can look at the issue objectively.
Visiting relationship or marriage counsellors is not uncommon in today’s society and it may well save your relationship.
What to expect in your first counselling sessions
It’s totally understandable that you might find it daunting to bare your soul and reveal your inner-most hopes and fears to a stranger. You may also be worried about upsetting your partner or making the problems even worse. But remember that relationship counsellors are trained to be impartial. They will avoid taking sides on who is the victim and will not attribute blame.
The first thing your counsellor would probably ask is why you’ve chosen now to seek outside help. He/she will then proceed to ask each of you what you perceive to be the problems, and what you would like to discuss. He/she will do their best to keep you relaxed and maintain a respectful discussion.
Future sessions may delve into certain aspects such as your family life and what problems took place in the week between sessions.
If you’re thinking about seeking relationship advice then that’s a great first step, as it shows you care. The chances are that if you’ve gotten this far in your relationship, after some relationship councelling you will soon begin to support each other in making the necessary changes.
If you and your partner are considering divorce, maybe you should try getting professional relationship advice in the form of marriage counselling first. Also known as couples therapy, this form of marriage guidance can give both of you valuable insights into the troubles plaguing your relationship. Here are some ways counselling could save your marriage.
Identify the problem(s)
You may think the only thing wrong with your marriage is your partner’s long hours at the office or the way he avoids your family, but in most cases, there are issues on both sides, and couples therapy can help you to identify them. Both of you will need to speak up and say what’s bothering you — and listen when your partner does the same. It’s necessary for both partners to agree that there are problems in the relationship as well as acknowledge that they’re part of them.
Be willing to change
It takes two to tango, and it takes cooperation by both parties to repair a damaged marriage. To get the most out of marriage counselling, you must own your part of the conflict and be willing to make the behavioural changes necessary to get the relationship back on track. Each of you must be able to say, “Our marriage is worth saving, and I’ll meet you halfway.”
Have realistic expectations
Some couples expect instant results when they go in for marriage help. Well, sadly things don’t work that way, because you can’t walk into the therapist’s office, toss your credit card on their desk and say, “Fix my marriage now.” Your marriage counsellor does not have a vial of magic fairy dust that they can sprinkle over both of you and instantly solve all of your problems.
Both of you will have to be patient and willing to work on saving your marriage. You must invest time and effort into making your relationship work. Focus on the goal of a lasting marriage in which both partners are happy.
The fact that you’re seeking relationship advice and marriage help is a sign that both of you are serious about staying together and building a new, more solid relationship. A skilled marriage counsellor can help you navigate the stormy waters of a relationship in trouble, but both partners must be willing to put aside past hurts and concentrate on negotiating a more positive partnership. With the right help and a lot of determination, you may be able to make your marriage stronger than ever.
Have you ever tried marriage counselling?