Dating-help

49 Dating Secrets Revealed

Australia’s Millionaire Matchmaker – aka Trudy Gilbert – has just released her new book 49 Secrets of an Elite MatchmakerSHESAID was lucky enough to peer through the pages and snag an interview. So we took the opportunity to ask her about the book, her dating knowledge and what’s next for this highly ambitious lady. We even unveil a few extra secrets, which The Bachelor fans will find exciting, so read on.

RELATED: The Single Girl’s Guide To Online Dating

49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker contains the type of advice Trudy offers her clients:

“Having helped so many people, it got me thinking: “What if I was able to help more people besides my clients?” Thus the idea for the book was born. 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker is a culmination of everything I’ve heard and learned over the last nine years from single men and women. I’ve learnt so much, from what I’ve seen work to what I’ve seen fail, and why some people find a match and others don’t.”

The clients Trudy is talking about are some of Australia’s top-earning professionals. They aren’t mainstream singles you’ll find on standard dating websites. All are looking for long-term relationships. Membership costs $4995, so Trudy’s clients are pretty serious about the business of finding a partner.

We asked Trudy if some of the book’s content would be more relevant to her clients, rather than mainstream singles:

“It wasn’t difficult to give a broad view of dating as these are common issues we all face… some issues are common and others are more specific.”

That explains why Trudy included a chapter on narcissism, which other dating advice books neglect:

“I included narcissism in the book as I wanted to save them from being attached to these personalities. It can be hard to detect these personality types until sometimes you are too far into the relationship.”

Trudy explains around 1 in 100 people has narcissistic traits and therefore the chances of bumping into a narcissist are reasonably high, particularly for high paid execs. Although she has no intention of entering into the mainstream dating market, the information she’s presented does translate well for the masses. Things like happiness, attractiveness, why people are still single, game playing, myths, settling, chemistry and so much more.

It’s not just a book for women either. Men get an idea of what women want as well. It seems Trudy has the dirt on both sexes! We wanted to use some of her knowledge to our advantage, so we asked what she believes are the main differences between single men and women:

“Men focus on what a woman looks like vs women who focus on personality. Men don’t need to know so much about a woman before they meet (whereas women do). Men focus on a fun bubbly personality and women look for a man who is reliable and trustworthy. Men tend to live in the moment, whereas women tend to jump ahead and analyse. Eg. Will he be my husband while on date number 2?”

Sounds pretty spot on. The book goes into these sorts of things in much more detail. There’s gender-specific chapters, singles specific chapters and general knowledge which anyone could benefit from. Many of Trudy’s clients are now off the market, but what they’ve shared is highly relevant for people looking to revitalize their relationships or understand their partner a little better.

Trudy clearly has something to offer couples as well as singles, so we asked if she’s thought about widening her focus:

“No, not yet. I am so busy with my current business. When daters become couples, my job is finished and I get an incredible amount of joy hearing they are happy.”

It seems Trudy is one of those inspirational ladies where anything is a possibility so, we had to ask what’s next:

“Currently working on another book, in talks with a production company for a new dating show, licensing opportunities for the business around Australia.”

Hmm, now here’s a lady who thinks BIG! Looks like The Bachelor fans may be in store for some home-grown competition! After reading the book and interviewing Trudy, one would assume her contestants would have a much better chance finding real love, than the recent Bachelor fiasco! That’s for sure.

For now though, 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker and Elite Introductions is Trudy’s primary focus. When we asked her if there was anything else she’d like to share about the book, upcoming events, promotions; anything which she would like to let readers know about, she finished off with:

“If you want to have a great date before Christmas, give us a call. My clients appreciate the high standards I hold when encouraging people to join the agency. Ladies, believe me, there are still some lovely, chivalrous eligible single bachelors in this town who want the same as you – a beautiful relationship”.
  
If you don’t meet the demographic and are looking for love, buy yourself a copy of 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker instead. It’s well worth every cent!

November 10, 2014

Outdoor Dates On A Super Tight Budget

When was the last time you did something as simple as go parking with your special someone? Keeping the romance alive or romancing a new lover doesn’t necessarily involve spending a hand full of cash. There are some really simple, outdoor activities couples can do to spice up their love life and their sex life!

Cloud or star gazing

This might sound a little lame, but don’t knock it until you try it. I’ve had many a romantic afternoon with my partner watching the clouds go by. It’s a great thing to do on a lazy weekend or when funds are stretched to the limit. Throw down a rug, head to the backyard or local park and just lie back. The two of you can use your imaginations, laugh, talk, snuggle, cuddle – whatever you like. This is the absolute cheapest activity because the cost is zero!

A trip to the water

There is something very soothing about water. It doesn’t matter if it’s the beach or other body of water, going to a peaceful place like this is really rejuvenating. Rain, hail or shine, the view will always be spectacular and the trip there can be a great time to talk to your partner in peace or just enjoy being together.

Once you are there, you may choose to sit in the car and have a deep and meaningful conversation, while grabbing some hot chips and a loaf of bread for a bit of a meal. Maybe you decide to go for a walk, hand in hand. It doesn’t matter what you do but it will get you out of the house, away from the everyday stresses of life and give you both some precious time out.

Country or park picnic

When you live in the city getting out of that environment will de-stress you and have you both feeling relaxed. The most expensive thing about this will be the fuel. If the budget is really tight, you don’t need to go far for a bit of tranquillity. A secluded park in a neighboring suburb can be just as good. Pack a few sandwiches, some drinks and it can be a reasonably inexpensive outing. Bring along a frisbee or footy and get active.

Camping

Whether you set up a tent in the bush somewhere, local caravan park or even in the backyard, it doesn’t matter. If you are able to have a little campfire, go for it! Sitting by the fire is really romantic. If you can’t have a fire, enjoy time in the tent. The cold air outside will entice you to snuggle and being away from technology, like TVs and phones, will get you communicating.

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October 7, 2014

5 First Date Tips

First dates are nervous. That’s no lie.  However, with some dating help, you can totally get back into the dating scene without having a meltdown beforehand. Dating is supposed to be enjoyable, so relax. Breathe. Follow these dating tips that will get you through the butterflies of the first date and if you like them, hopefully a second date!

Dress appropriately
The first thing you need to decide is what you are going to wear. Dress for the date: if you go to a movie wearing a little black dress and sky-high stilettos, you may give off the wrong impression (high maintenance, much?). Look amazing but dress for whatever it is that you’ve planned for the date.

Be decisive
There is nothing worse than having a date with someone who can’t make a decision.  You may believe that leaving decisions up to the other person is polite or flattering, but being completely indecisive can work against you when it comes to the first date (and beyond). Take action and take control. If there are some options for activities handed to you, pick one! It will save the hassle of going back and forth asking, “Well, I don’t know…what do you want to do?”

Tell him about you – and listen
The conversion throughout the date should be equal. Let him tell you about himself, and you do the same. Don’t only throw a ton of questions at him like he’s being interrogated. Let him know what you are all about as well. Be gregarious and charismatic and share funny stories. Be honest but remember to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously.

The bill
Oh, that moment when the bill comes. Are they going to pay for it? Should you? What if we go splits? Seems like everyone has an opinion (just read the comments in our recent article Who Should Pay on the First Date?). Stop the questions buzzing through your head and handle the bill gracefully. Either allow him to pay, or suggest paying and gracefully accept when he does. Don’t argue with him and simply say thank you. If he doesn’t pay for it, split the bill and pay for half.

The next day
After the first date, the worst thing that you can do is blow up his phone with text messages and phone calls. Let him come to you. There is nothing sexy about being classified as a “Stage 5 Clinger”.  If a man is interested, they will get in touch with you. If he didn’t have fun, move on to the next and don’t worry about reaching out to him.

What’s your best first date advice?

October 22, 2013

Dating Tips for the First Date

First dates are nervous. That’s no lie. However, with some dating help, you can totally get back into the dating scene without having a meltdown beforehand. Dating is supposed to be enjoyable, so relax. Breathe. Follow these dating tips that will get you through the butterflies of the first date and if you like them, hopefully a second date!

Dress appropriately
The first thing you need to decide is what you are going to wear. Dress for the date: if you go to a movie wearing a little black dress and sky-high stilettos, you may give off the wrong impression (high maintenance, much?). Look amazing but dress for whatever it is that you’ve planned for the date.

Be decisive
There is nothing worse than having a date with someone who can’t make a decision. You may believe that leaving decisions up to the other person is polite or flattering, but being completely indecisive can work against you when it comes to the first date (and beyond). Take action and take control. If there are some options for activities handed to you, pick one! It will save the hassle of going back and forth asking, “Well, I don’t know…what do you want to do?”

Tell him about you – and listen
The conversion throughout the date should be equal. Let him tell you about himself, and you do the same. Don’t only throw a ton of questions at him like he’s being interrogated. Let him know what you are all about as well. Be gregarious and charismatic and share funny stories. Be honest but remember to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously.

The bill
Oh, that moment when the bill comes. Are they going to pay for it? Should you? What if we go splits? Seems like everyone has an opinion (just read the comments in our recent article Who Should Pay on the First Date?). Stop the questions buzzing through your head and handle the bill gracefully. What we suggest is waiting for him to make a move for it and when he does, reach for your purse and see how he reacts.If he insists on paying, then of course, don’t argue with him and simply say thank you. If he doesn’t pay for it, split the bill and pay for half.

The next day
After the first date, the worst thing that you can do is blow up his phone with text messages and phone calls. Let him come to you. There is nothing sexy about being classified as a “Stage 5 Clinger”. If a man is interested, they will get in touch with you. If he didn’t have fun, move on to the next and don’t worry about reaching out to him.

What are your best first date tips?

October 15, 2013