When they came into the world, I knew I was complete.
Could your hormones be dictating your love life?
Time to ditch diet drinks for good.
Because nothing is more important than your health.
The strong, primal urge to have children can strike you when you least expect it; it’s a deep, emotional pull that can be completely illogical, irrational, inconvenient and indeed bordering on insanity, as in my case.
I’ve just turned 41; I have three-year-old and two-year-old daughters; I work part-time and our household is so chaotic and noisy I’m often half expecting to hear the sounds of glass shattering – none of these conditions are ideal in which to bring another life into this world.
And yet, I feel an intense, inexplicable desire to breed – it’s like my fertility clock has started tick, tick, ticking again as my body approaches the end of its peak reproductive capabilities. I’m yearning for a baby to the point that when I see a newborn in the street, I have to quell a strong desire to sniff that cute, little bundle of joy’s head; nothing would smell sweeter to me right now. This is far from ideal and fairly offensive, anti-social behaviour: “Er, excuse me? Can I please sniff your baby’s sweet head?” Ugh.
And did I mention I already have both a preschooler and a toddler, born very close together? What am I thinking?! My head is overruling my heart on this one: my having another baby can’t and won’t happen – life is only just starting to get manageable as it is; my husband and I are finally starting to get seven-to-eight hours sleep nightly again and we have a happy, if hectic family life. Why would I want to ruin all that with another baby?!
Then there’s my fertility to think of: having a baby in your 40s can be very fraught. It is of course, thanks to the miracles of modern science, by no means impossible. But my husband and I have already endured the agony of two miscarriages and a down syndrome scare in our quest to have children later in life. It’d be way too much mental and emotional anguish to lose another child and/or suffer more pregnancy complications.
And then there are the long, sleepless nights to consider – my 45-year-old husband would happily go for another baby, but I’m not sure we’d survive it, to be honest – I think it would be very ageing and stressful. I’m sure, if it was to happen, I’d wake up one day, pregnant with our third child, with a giant patch of grey hair (no greys yet, touch wood).
And yet, despite all this, I am still longing for another baby; not even my boisterous and demanding two littlies can deter these irrepressible maternal urges. For having a baby is an experience like no other – one of life’s greatest gifts – a rollercoaster of emotions: giddy highs and the lowest of lows.
Interestingly, I never even felt this strong desire to have children until about six months before my wedding at age 36. I was extremely career-driven and rarely, if ever, got clucky. But now, perhaps because my husband and I have been blessed with two healthy and adorable children – so I know just how wondrous parenthood can be – it’s a heart pull that is starting to plague me.
However, here is a fun fertility fact which, for me, is yet another reason to stop having kids: from your mid-40s, if you conceive naturally, you have a one in two chance of having twins. Can you believe it? Women’s bodies are amazing; this twin lottery is due to the fact that as we approach menopause, our hormones work harder to release an egg from our ovaries. And so the result is often two eggs being released during ovulation which can be fertilised and implanted in our uterus, resulting in non-identical twins. Eek.
Every baby is a blessing, but I’m way too tired to have another and, I like to think, wise enough to know when it’s time to stop. Now, if I can just overrule these utterly ridiculous broody blues…
What do you think? Have you experienced the broody blues? How did you know it was time to stop having babies?
For many women, the idea of getting pregnant after experiencing a miscarriage is a confusing and emotional process. In order to have a better chance of conceiving again and having a successful pregnancy, it is often helpful to find out what caused the miscarriage and work with your doctor to incorporate new ways to promote a healthy pregnancy. Keep reading to find out more about conceiving after a miscarriage.
Why do miscarriages occur?
A miscarriage occurs when a pregnancy is spontaneously ended prior to the 20th week of gestation. Most miscarriages occur due to abnormal fetal development, but many other things such as physical trauma, maternal health conditions and problems with the reproductive organs can also lead to a miscarriage. In some cases, miscarriages occur for no apparent reason.
According to statistics, approximately 15 percent of all pregnancies result in a miscarriage. The exact percentage could even be a little higher because many women have early miscarriages that occur before she knows she is pregnant.
Some people have the misconception that a woman who has a miscarriage is at a higher risk of having another miscarriage. However, most miscarriages are isolated incidents and the majority of women are able to have a successful pregnancy afterward. Fewer than five percent of women experience two miscarriages back-to-back.
How long should you wait before getting pregnant after a miscarriage?
It is a good idea to allow your body to heal before trying to conceive after a miscarriage. For many women, most physical damage caused by the miscarriage heals within one week. However, it may take up to six weeks for your period to return. Some women are able to get pregnant again before their next period occurs.
In addition to the physical damage that a miscarriage can cause, many women also experience emotional trauma and a sense of loss. This may require you to take more time before trying to get pregnant again. You might also need counseling to help sort out your feelings.
Women who have already suffered from one or more miscarriages are encouraged to speak to their doctor or gynecologist before deciding when to start trying to conceive again. Some experts say that women should wait six months before trying to get pregnant again. However, there is little to no real evidence that waiting this long is actually necessary. Your doctor will be able to conduct tests and examinations to determine how long you should wait.
Ways to promote a successful pregnancy after a miscarriage
In order to have a better chance for a successful pregnancy, there are a few things you can do if you are not doing them already. The most important step is to start taking a prenatal vitamin every day that has a high amount of folic acid. It is best to start taking folic acid about three months before conceiving. You should also work on getting physically fit and losing weight if you are currently overweight.
Additional precautions may need to be taken by women who have had previous miscarriage. Your doctor will be able to determine the best course of action for you. This may mean that you will need bed rest, further check-ups or medication in order to increase your chance of a successful pregnancy.
Experiencing a miscarriage is a traumatic and stressful event for any woman to go through. Working closely with your gynecologist or physician is important, especially if you have had a miscarriage in the past.
What is your best advice for getting pregnant after miscarriage?
If getting pregnant hasn’t been easy for you, you’re not alone. Many women don’t get pregnant when they start trying, but there are things you can do to help your chances of getting pregnant faster.
Understanding your ovulation cycle is key to getting pregnant faster. Keeping a pregnancy calendar is a must, so you can chart your ovulation dates. Start by recording the day of your last menstrual period (LMP). Most women ovulate between day 11 and day 21 of their cycle (counting from the first day of the LMP). Fertility experts refer to this as the “fertile time” of a cycle, because the chances of getting pregnant are increased during this time. Ovulation can occur at other times during your cycle, and can change from month to month. So it’s important to note down any changes in to your pregnancy calendar.
How you have sex and how you position your body afterwards can help. Fertility experts recommend having sex on your back, and then laying down after sex. You may want to hop up and use the bathroom, or run to the kitchen to get a glass of water, but it is best to stay still to open up your ovaries and allow for better flow to the uterus.
Maintain a healthy lifestyle
Trying to get pregnant isn’t just about what you do in the bedroom. Make sure that you live a healthy lifestyle – from watching what you eat and drink, to maintaining an exercise routine to keep your body in shape and your weight in check.
The other important factor is learning to relax. Getting pregnant can sometimes feel like you’re racing against the clock. And if you find you’re not getting pregnant, that can add to even more stress. But the stress you put on yourself can effect your hormones, which can be counteractive to your reproductive efforts. So make stress-reducing efforts part of your lifestyle, like going for regular walks, meditating or doing yoga.
Stop using birth control
If you’re thinking of getting pregnant, stop using birth control. It is important that you stop taking your birth control as early as possible so that your body can start to get back to its normal cycle, and flush out the chemicals. No matter what type of birth control you used, your body may vary in terms of how long it takes to get back to your regular ovulation cycle.
Trying to get pregnant can sometimes feel like a job. But instead, enjoy the intimacy that comes with having sex, and lots of it! It might be easier said than done, but it’s important to try and not become obsessed with getting pregnant. Relax, and keep trying. If things don’t change, then consult your doctor. But in the meantime, enjoy having lots of great sex!
What are your tips for getting pregnant faster?