I’d been closing my eyes to the possibilities for too long.
Australia’s Millionaire Matchmaker – aka Trudy Gilbert – has just released her new book 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker. SHESAID was lucky enough to peer through the pages and snag an interview. So we took the opportunity to ask her about the book, her dating knowledge and what’s next for this highly ambitious lady. We even unveil a few extra secrets, which The Bachelor fans will find exciting, so read on.
49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker contains the type of advice Trudy offers her clients:
“Having helped so many people, it got me thinking: “What if I was able to help more people besides my clients?” Thus the idea for the book was born. 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker is a culmination of everything I’ve heard and learned over the last nine years from single men and women. I’ve learnt so much, from what I’ve seen work to what I’ve seen fail, and why some people find a match and others don’t.”
The clients Trudy is talking about are some of Australia’s top-earning professionals. They aren’t mainstream singles you’ll find on standard dating websites. All are looking for long-term relationships. Membership costs $4995, so Trudy’s clients are pretty serious about the business of finding a partner.
We asked Trudy if some of the book’s content would be more relevant to her clients, rather than mainstream singles:
“It wasn’t difficult to give a broad view of dating as these are common issues we all face… some issues are common and others are more specific.”
That explains why Trudy included a chapter on narcissism, which other dating advice books neglect:
“I included narcissism in the book as I wanted to save them from being attached to these personalities. It can be hard to detect these personality types until sometimes you are too far into the relationship.”
Trudy explains around 1 in 100 people has narcissistic traits and therefore the chances of bumping into a narcissist are reasonably high, particularly for high paid execs. Although she has no intention of entering into the mainstream dating market, the information she’s presented does translate well for the masses. Things like happiness, attractiveness, why people are still single, game playing, myths, settling, chemistry and so much more.
It’s not just a book for women either. Men get an idea of what women want as well. It seems Trudy has the dirt on both sexes! We wanted to use some of her knowledge to our advantage, so we asked what she believes are the main differences between single men and women:
“Men focus on what a woman looks like vs women who focus on personality. Men don’t need to know so much about a woman before they meet (whereas women do). Men focus on a fun bubbly personality and women look for a man who is reliable and trustworthy. Men tend to live in the moment, whereas women tend to jump ahead and analyse. Eg. Will he be my husband while on date number 2?”
Sounds pretty spot on. The book goes into these sorts of things in much more detail. There’s gender-specific chapters, singles specific chapters and general knowledge which anyone could benefit from. Many of Trudy’s clients are now off the market, but what they’ve shared is highly relevant for people looking to revitalize their relationships or understand their partner a little better.
Trudy clearly has something to offer couples as well as singles, so we asked if she’s thought about widening her focus:
“No, not yet. I am so busy with my current business. When daters become couples, my job is finished and I get an incredible amount of joy hearing they are happy.”
It seems Trudy is one of those inspirational ladies where anything is a possibility so, we had to ask what’s next:
“Currently working on another book, in talks with a production company for a new dating show, licensing opportunities for the business around Australia.”
Hmm, now here’s a lady who thinks BIG! Looks like The Bachelor fans may be in store for some home-grown competition! After reading the book and interviewing Trudy, one would assume her contestants would have a much better chance finding real love, than the recent Bachelor fiasco! That’s for sure.
For now though, 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker and Elite Introductions is Trudy’s primary focus. When we asked her if there was anything else she’d like to share about the book, upcoming events, promotions; anything which she would like to let readers know about, she finished off with:
“If you want to have a great date before Christmas, give us a call. My clients appreciate the high standards I hold when encouraging people to join the agency. Ladies, believe me, there are still some lovely, chivalrous eligible single bachelors in this town who want the same as you – a beautiful relationship”.
If you don’t meet the demographic and are looking for love, buy yourself a copy of 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker instead. It’s well worth every cent!
Clear your mind of negative attitudes and approach new potential partners with a fresh outlook.
Often women don’t have the courage to speak up with their man. They are worried they may appear petty or nitpicking. Often when they do speak up, it is at the wrong time, during an argument or when they have reached the end of their tether, instead of when the problems can be discussed rationally.
Don’t be afraid to articulate when you feel that you are being treated unfairly or below your worth. Men don’t know how we feel. They are very different creatures and certainly don’t feel the way we do. They are capable of making us feel wonderful, but can also make us feel very second rate at times too. Men generally don’t do this intentionally. If you let him get away with it once, you have set a precedent.
Remember, you set the standards in a relationship, not him, just by accepting what he dishes out and not voicing your feelings.
If you reflect on a rotten relationship you have had with a guy, you may notice that you accepted his treatment. Often, you will find that he will move on to another relationship and treat the next woman quite differently. Not because he has changed, but because she has had different standards. The reverse applies also. Have you ever said `He wouldn’t have got away with that with me’?
We should not plan to change a guy completely, but they all need a good overhaul. Unfortunately, too many women believe that they can dispense with their faults later. Later is too late: That is when the rot sets in. Unless you speak up from the beginning , you will not set the foundations for a mutually successful relationship. If you cannot get him to please you early in the relationship, you will not succeed later. Unfortunately, too many of us have the attitude that there will never be another like him.
Of course there will be another like him, because he is the type you choose. Have you noticed that men get better, never worse. The next guy you start dating is always far nicer than the one from whom you have just parted.
Let your achievements shine
Everyone has past achievements they are proud of but quite often we keep these hidden away in a cupboard! There is nothing wrong with letting a guy know how capable and clever you are. No one else is going to. It’s up to you to be able very subtly, to slip in gems from your past of which you are proud.
With your new attitude, increased confidence and self worth, you will attract far more interesting men. If you practice courage, and are not prepared to accept flaws that you previously accepted, you will also lift the standard of guys with whom you become involved. Good luck.
Find out more about “Dial A Man” and Rosalind Neville