First-dates

5 Reasons I Refuse To Google My Dates

We need to bring back the mystery.

August 7, 2017

9 Dating Red Flags That Should Send You Running

Is it just a quirk, or is it a red flag?

August 26, 2016

49 Dating Secrets Revealed

Australia’s Millionaire Matchmaker – aka Trudy Gilbert – has just released her new book 49 Secrets of an Elite MatchmakerSHESAID was lucky enough to peer through the pages and snag an interview. So we took the opportunity to ask her about the book, her dating knowledge and what’s next for this highly ambitious lady. We even unveil a few extra secrets, which The Bachelor fans will find exciting, so read on.

RELATED: The Single Girl’s Guide To Online Dating

49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker contains the type of advice Trudy offers her clients:

“Having helped so many people, it got me thinking: “What if I was able to help more people besides my clients?” Thus the idea for the book was born. 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker is a culmination of everything I’ve heard and learned over the last nine years from single men and women. I’ve learnt so much, from what I’ve seen work to what I’ve seen fail, and why some people find a match and others don’t.”

The clients Trudy is talking about are some of Australia’s top-earning professionals. They aren’t mainstream singles you’ll find on standard dating websites. All are looking for long-term relationships. Membership costs $4995, so Trudy’s clients are pretty serious about the business of finding a partner.

We asked Trudy if some of the book’s content would be more relevant to her clients, rather than mainstream singles:

“It wasn’t difficult to give a broad view of dating as these are common issues we all face… some issues are common and others are more specific.”

That explains why Trudy included a chapter on narcissism, which other dating advice books neglect:

“I included narcissism in the book as I wanted to save them from being attached to these personalities. It can be hard to detect these personality types until sometimes you are too far into the relationship.”

Trudy explains around 1 in 100 people has narcissistic traits and therefore the chances of bumping into a narcissist are reasonably high, particularly for high paid execs. Although she has no intention of entering into the mainstream dating market, the information she’s presented does translate well for the masses. Things like happiness, attractiveness, why people are still single, game playing, myths, settling, chemistry and so much more.

It’s not just a book for women either. Men get an idea of what women want as well. It seems Trudy has the dirt on both sexes! We wanted to use some of her knowledge to our advantage, so we asked what she believes are the main differences between single men and women:

“Men focus on what a woman looks like vs women who focus on personality. Men don’t need to know so much about a woman before they meet (whereas women do). Men focus on a fun bubbly personality and women look for a man who is reliable and trustworthy. Men tend to live in the moment, whereas women tend to jump ahead and analyse. Eg. Will he be my husband while on date number 2?”

Sounds pretty spot on. The book goes into these sorts of things in much more detail. There’s gender-specific chapters, singles specific chapters and general knowledge which anyone could benefit from. Many of Trudy’s clients are now off the market, but what they’ve shared is highly relevant for people looking to revitalize their relationships or understand their partner a little better.

Trudy clearly has something to offer couples as well as singles, so we asked if she’s thought about widening her focus:

“No, not yet. I am so busy with my current business. When daters become couples, my job is finished and I get an incredible amount of joy hearing they are happy.”

It seems Trudy is one of those inspirational ladies where anything is a possibility so, we had to ask what’s next:

“Currently working on another book, in talks with a production company for a new dating show, licensing opportunities for the business around Australia.”

Hmm, now here’s a lady who thinks BIG! Looks like The Bachelor fans may be in store for some home-grown competition! After reading the book and interviewing Trudy, one would assume her contestants would have a much better chance finding real love, than the recent Bachelor fiasco! That’s for sure.

For now though, 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker and Elite Introductions is Trudy’s primary focus. When we asked her if there was anything else she’d like to share about the book, upcoming events, promotions; anything which she would like to let readers know about, she finished off with:

“If you want to have a great date before Christmas, give us a call. My clients appreciate the high standards I hold when encouraging people to join the agency. Ladies, believe me, there are still some lovely, chivalrous eligible single bachelors in this town who want the same as you – a beautiful relationship”.
  
If you don’t meet the demographic and are looking for love, buy yourself a copy of 49 Secrets of an Elite Matchmaker instead. It’s well worth every cent!

November 10, 2014

5 Rules For A First Date

First dates can be awkward and embarrassing experiences when you don’t know each other very well. Without stating the obvious such as being punctual and splitting the bill (or whatever you prefer), a good first impression is essential so be considerate of one another and most importantly have fun. Our following rules for a first date should land you the one in no time.

1. Travel solo

While it’s nice to get picked up by your date from home, we highly recommend making your own way there and back. Why? If the date isn’t what you expected, you have your own person getaway planned without relying on anyone else. We’re not suggesting you pick up and leave like a Runaway Bride, it’s just better not to depend on your date for a ride home.

2. The X Factor

This one goes without saying, it’s probably best not to mention your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend to another potential date. Nobody wants to deal with baggage from a previous relationship, so uttering your ex’s bad traits isn’t the best way into your date’s good books. Instead, get to know your partner without bringing up each other’s past.

3. Be engaging

Leave any narcissistic personalities at the door. First dates rely on first impressions which could make or break a possibility of a future relationship. Don’t brag on about yourself, rather engage your date and try to get to know them. This isn’t a sales pitch or a speech, so be courteous and show interest.

4. Put away your phone

Show your date that you respect them and their time, by limiting the use of your phone. If you find yourself more interested in Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, it’s probably best to stay home in the first place. Can you answer an incoming call? Sure, but politely excuse yourself and answer it elsewhere. Nothing is more irritating than hearing someone on the phone in front of you.

5. Don’t drink too much

Know your limits and don’t drink too much on a first date. Slurry speech and disorientation aren’t an attractive quality and won’t land you a second or third date.

Image via confessionsofaserialdaterinla.com

By Felicia Sapountzis

May 7, 2014

Your Best First Date Ever

Got a first date coming up? You’ve probably got butterflies just thinking about it, but relax. First dates can be a lot of fun, especially if you follow these foolproof dating tips.

Top 5 first date do’s and don’ts

1. Do not arrive late for your date.

2. Do not badmouth your ex during conversation.

3. Make the conversation a two-way street – make sure you tell him about yourself, but also listen to him and ask questions.

4. Don’t drink too much!

5. Remember to relax – don’t take the first date too seriously. Have fun!

First date conversation tips

1. If stuck for conversation always ask the other person to talk about themselves, it is the easiest thing for anyone to talk about.

2. Look at your date in the eyes and make sure you listen to what he has to say.

3. Relax, relax, relax – The whole point of the evening is to focus on enjoying yourself. If you are stressed, the other person isn’t going to get to know the real you.

4. Don’t talk about money, religion or politics on your first date.

5. Watch their body language – it can be subtle, but your date will always give you signs as to how they are feeling.

What was your best (or worst) first date experience? Share it in the comments!

February 6, 2014

5 First Date Tips

First dates are nervous. That’s no lie.  However, with some dating help, you can totally get back into the dating scene without having a meltdown beforehand. Dating is supposed to be enjoyable, so relax. Breathe. Follow these dating tips that will get you through the butterflies of the first date and if you like them, hopefully a second date!

Dress appropriately
The first thing you need to decide is what you are going to wear. Dress for the date: if you go to a movie wearing a little black dress and sky-high stilettos, you may give off the wrong impression (high maintenance, much?). Look amazing but dress for whatever it is that you’ve planned for the date.

Be decisive
There is nothing worse than having a date with someone who can’t make a decision.  You may believe that leaving decisions up to the other person is polite or flattering, but being completely indecisive can work against you when it comes to the first date (and beyond). Take action and take control. If there are some options for activities handed to you, pick one! It will save the hassle of going back and forth asking, “Well, I don’t know…what do you want to do?”

Tell him about you – and listen
The conversion throughout the date should be equal. Let him tell you about himself, and you do the same. Don’t only throw a ton of questions at him like he’s being interrogated. Let him know what you are all about as well. Be gregarious and charismatic and share funny stories. Be honest but remember to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously.

The bill
Oh, that moment when the bill comes. Are they going to pay for it? Should you? What if we go splits? Seems like everyone has an opinion (just read the comments in our recent article Who Should Pay on the First Date?). Stop the questions buzzing through your head and handle the bill gracefully. Either allow him to pay, or suggest paying and gracefully accept when he does. Don’t argue with him and simply say thank you. If he doesn’t pay for it, split the bill and pay for half.

The next day
After the first date, the worst thing that you can do is blow up his phone with text messages and phone calls. Let him come to you. There is nothing sexy about being classified as a “Stage 5 Clinger”.  If a man is interested, they will get in touch with you. If he didn’t have fun, move on to the next and don’t worry about reaching out to him.

What’s your best first date advice?

October 22, 2013

Dating Tips for the First Date

First dates are nervous. That’s no lie. However, with some dating help, you can totally get back into the dating scene without having a meltdown beforehand. Dating is supposed to be enjoyable, so relax. Breathe. Follow these dating tips that will get you through the butterflies of the first date and if you like them, hopefully a second date!

Dress appropriately
The first thing you need to decide is what you are going to wear. Dress for the date: if you go to a movie wearing a little black dress and sky-high stilettos, you may give off the wrong impression (high maintenance, much?). Look amazing but dress for whatever it is that you’ve planned for the date.

Be decisive
There is nothing worse than having a date with someone who can’t make a decision. You may believe that leaving decisions up to the other person is polite or flattering, but being completely indecisive can work against you when it comes to the first date (and beyond). Take action and take control. If there are some options for activities handed to you, pick one! It will save the hassle of going back and forth asking, “Well, I don’t know…what do you want to do?”

Tell him about you – and listen
The conversion throughout the date should be equal. Let him tell you about himself, and you do the same. Don’t only throw a ton of questions at him like he’s being interrogated. Let him know what you are all about as well. Be gregarious and charismatic and share funny stories. Be honest but remember to have fun and don’t take yourself too seriously.

The bill
Oh, that moment when the bill comes. Are they going to pay for it? Should you? What if we go splits? Seems like everyone has an opinion (just read the comments in our recent article Who Should Pay on the First Date?). Stop the questions buzzing through your head and handle the bill gracefully. What we suggest is waiting for him to make a move for it and when he does, reach for your purse and see how he reacts.If he insists on paying, then of course, don’t argue with him and simply say thank you. If he doesn’t pay for it, split the bill and pay for half.

The next day
After the first date, the worst thing that you can do is blow up his phone with text messages and phone calls. Let him come to you. There is nothing sexy about being classified as a “Stage 5 Clinger”. If a man is interested, they will get in touch with you. If he didn’t have fun, move on to the next and don’t worry about reaching out to him.

What are your best first date tips?

October 15, 2013

Who Should Pay On The First Date?

It’s the age-old question: who should pay on the first date?

Turns out, most Aussies are traditionalists and expect the man to pay, while a growing number believe couples should go Dutch.

Exclusive dating agency Blue Label Life conducted a love survery and found that over two-thirds of people want the man to pay, with 31.2% opting to split the bill.

Surprisingly, 1.4% thought the woman should pay on the first date!

Aussies’ top three turn ons are a sense of humour, warm heart, and a positive attitude, while the top three turn offs are poor hygiene, bad breath/teeth, and infidelity – eww!

Other interesting results from the survey include 91% of respondents choosing love over money, and when deciding how long a relationship takes to get serious, 39.7% think a long-term relationships is 1-3 years, and 42.1% think it has to be longer than 3 years.

What do you think of these results? And who do you think should pay on the first date? Tell us in the comments!

 

August 30, 2013