How to finger a girl 101: Our clitoris is not like the rapid fire button on your PS4 controller.
Man, I feel like a woman.
A great kiss should be experienced from the top of your head and work its way all the way down to the tips of your toes. That is the ultimate kiss. If you’re not aiming for that every time you kiss, you’re seriously missing out!
There really is an art to performing an incredible kiss. A bad kiss is a real let down, particularly if it’s a first kiss. If the first kiss with someone lacks that spark, which everyone is searching for, it may be a deal breaker. They figure if that spark isn’t there in that moment, it certainly isn’t going to get any better.
So how do you know if you are doing it right? No one automatically knows how to get it right and it takes a while to perfect. Remember back to your very first kiss? OMG, how bad was it? All mouth, tongue, hot breath and not exactly memorable for anything more than being your first kiss.
Now, no one can tell you how much tongue to use, how much saliva needs to be flowing, blah, blah, blah. That’s all personal preference. One thing you need to remember is that a great kiss starts slow. Just touching someone else’s tongue with yours is really sensual. So start there. Don’t go in like you are eating a giant-sized hamburger!
Starting soft, slow and sensual is what you’re after. Moisten your lips and let them gently come together with the other person’s. Let your lips touch well before you thrust in that tongue. You aren’t a lizard! Enjoy the sensation of your lips touching and then gently look for their lips with your tongue. Not like you are trying to lick something off them but like you are searching for a light connection.
If they do likewise, you will gently feel the connection between your tongues. Be careful not to overdo the tongue at this point. It’s likely you’ll begin to get that stirring feeling in the pit of your stomach. That’s the sweet spot, so savour it. Do whatever feels good and move in closer so your bodies are touching.
Your hands should be either to the back of their head with your fingers softly ruffling through their hair or cradle their face. Be conscious of where your kissing partner has their hands. If they don’t know where to put their hands, or have them somewhere else, direct them to a likewise position. Kissing is all about the face and head, not your butt, breasts or somewhere else. Well, not at this stage anyway!
You don’t have to stay glued to someone elses mouth, either. In fact, it’s better if you find their tongue and lips for a bit, come apart, take a breath and find them again, just as you did at the beginning. Take your time to build it up to being more passionate.
As that feeling in the pit of your stomach grows, the kiss will get more intense. Go with it. That’s often when hands wander. If it’s just a kiss, it might be time to pull away and come up for air. You can come back to it. Kissing not only makes us feel good, releasing all those positive endorphines, but many women find it an essential part of foreplay. That’s the beauty of kissing.
A great kiss doesn’t only get the saliva flowing but will also get the rest of the body ready for sex. Men generally don’t need as much foreplay and might neglect the effect a long, lingering kiss can have on a woman. Don’t let him rush it. That’s a sure-fire way to end up completely frustrated when he’s done and your not even halfway there. Remind him about your needs and let him know if the kiss lasts longer, you probably won’t!
Image via coverlayout.com
Looking for ways to drive your man wild and ignite the fire in his, er – belly? Well there’s nothing like a little naughtiness to keep it fresh and make him sizzle in anticipation.
Luckily, there’s a host of ways to keep that intimacy alive and well, especially while you’re doing everyday mundane things. From driving, eating, washing the dishes and everything in between, it’s just a matter of using your imagination. Here are 15 simple ways to drive him wild to start you off.
Driving: While driving in the car together, let him take the wheel and start with a firm leg rub. Then, work your way up to a sensational crutch massage. This one’s best done alone, for obvious reasons.
Breakfast in bed: Sunday breaky in bed is awesome, but this idea is even better. Get together some strawberries, cream and maybe a jar of Nutella. Anything that you don’t mind licking off his body. You’ve got extra time on a Sunday, so make it a long lasting meal instead of a quick snack.
Dirty dish washing: There’s nothing sexy about doing the dishes right? Well, what if he discovered you in the kitchen wearing nothing but an apron? To get him in the kitchen, just ask him to grab you something because your hands are wet. I bet they won’t be the only thing wet for very long.
Handwritten notes: Put sexy notes in places where he’ll find them. In with his lunch, under the sun visor in his car or strategically placed under the soap in the bathroom. It will definitely bring a smile to his dial!
Hide things: Speaking of hiding things, if he takes a brief case, tool box or something similar to work each day, hide a silk scarf, handcuffs, or a small sex toy in there. Don’t forget to write a note saying: “Please bring this home because we’ll be needing this later tonight.”
Erotic eating: When you’re alone together eating an ice-cream, a banana, sausage, or something which resembles a penis, try to do it as erotically as possible but without being too obvious about it. Pretend to be oblivious at first, but when you catch him watching you, make eye contact and give him a smile. Not only is it a bit of fun, but it’s guaranteed to drive him wild!
Foot massage: Give him a foot massage but concentrate on the area under the ankle bone on both sides of his feet. Give the region a strong rub moving in a circular motion. Apparently this is a hot spot and specifically using this motion will ignite a spark in his pelvic region.
Pelvic thrusts: When you are having sex, stop thrusting for a few moments and try doing some pelvic floor or Kegal exercises. It will feel like you’re giving his penis a mini-massage.
Housework: If you’re doing housework, why not do it in a naughty maid’s outfit? Wait until he’s sitting down in the lounge, grab a feather duster and pretend to clean up around him. He won’t be able to resist watching you work your magic.
Let your hair down: Speaking of watching, these next two are all about putting on a show for him – men just love watching women let down their hair. So if you have some long locks, let it down with a sweep of your hand, then shake it out so it falls gently around your face. The thing to remember is that if it feels sexy, it’ll look sexy.
Less is more: Continuing on the watching theme; on a hot day when it’s just the two of you, give him something to look at by wearing short skirts, sarongs, or low cut tops. Do plenty of bending down in front of him so he can get a good glimspe of your butt and breasts. He’ll probably try not to look for too long, but when you catch him, let him know it’s been your intention.
Footsies: If you go out to dinner or are at a dinner party, try and sit opposite or next to him at the table. Remove your shoes and slide your toes up his leg. He’ll go from being interested in the conversation to being more interested in his lady.
Play music: Pick a well played but sexy song on the radio. Tell your man that it makes you think of him and something he does that excites you. Each time he hears that particular song, the only thing he’ll be able to think about is the scenario that you’ve told him about.
Get wet: Surprise him by joining him in the shower. Pick you’re timing, though, because it will backfire if he’s in a hurry!
Hopefully these simple ideas to drive him wild have provided you with some inspiration to be a bit naughty for your man. If you have any more simple ideas, we’d love to hear them in the comments below!
If you’re old enough to remember a topless Fergie’s 1992 toe-sucking Texan scandal in St-Tropez – while the Duchess of York was still married to Prince Andrew – you’ll recall the somewhat cringe-worthy tabloid photos of said hot foot lovin’.
The photos, which showed American financial manager John Bryan with a mouth full of one of Fergster’s feet while they holidays and canoodled by the pool in full view of the world (and Fergie and Andrew’s toddler daughters) in southern France, were first splashed across British tabloids.
And the Queen was not amused – the Duchess is said to have been at Balmoral with the rest of the royal family when the story broke, with Her Majesty effectively banishing Fergie from the royal household henceforth.
Whether this was due to the Duchess’ refusal to toe the line (pardon the pun) or the royals’ horror at the said foot fetishism, I guess we’ll never know, but public toe-sucking has arguably suffered a tarnished public image ever since.
However, fast forward some 20 plus years and foot fetishism (er, arguably best celebrated in the privacy of your own home) is seemingly now so popular, it’s virtually cool. However, it does seem to be more popular among men.
Famous foot fetishists who’ve gone on the record of late include perennial-cool singer/songwriter Pharrell Williams, actor Jack Black, singer Ricky Martin and director Quentin Tarantino.
What’s more, Elvis himself is arguably one of the best known foot fetishists, with a well-documented obsession, allegedly as a result of having to massage his mother’s feet as a child – shudder. There’s some serious Oedipus complex going on there! And The King’s handlers are even said to have screened the rock’n’roll icon’s female love interests on the basis of their feet attractiveness, er as you do.
While foot fetishism is nothing new – indeed, it’s the most common form of sexual fetish related to the body – it’s certainly not something I’d personally encountered prior to the advent of social media. You see, I recently joined Instagram and wow, what an eye-opener it was for me when I recently innocently posted several random pictures of my feet post-pedicure, one of my favourite beauty indulgences.
A recent such pic I posted got a lot of attention from said foot fetishists in Insta-land: countless pervy comments and requests this time to both share and repost said pic to others in the foot-worshipping community. In addition, it gained me no less than nine new foot fetishist followers?! What rock had I been living under? Was foot fetishism really that much of a thing? Apparently so!
Foot worship, or podophilia, is a pronounced sexual interest in feet. For a foot fetishist, attractive traits include the shape and size of the foot and toes; foot jewellery, such as toe rings and ankle bracelets; treatments, such as pedicures or massaging; state of dress, such as barefoot and/or thongs; odour, and/or sensory interaction such as smelling, licking, kissing, tickling and biting the foot.
As we all know, it takes a lot of different types to make the world go ‘round and if feet (mine included) blow your hair back, I say go for it, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone.
The hilarious part for me though, and I mean no disrespect to said foot fetishists, is that my feet are my least favourite body part; indeed my right foot has been damaged beyond repair by years of high-heel abuse. I’ve even got a small bunion, for God’s sake! Are bunions hot?!
Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars (pictured), who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being, says foot fetishism is so popular, in part, because feet are fairly non-offensive.
“One reason we hear about foot fetishes so much is that as far as fetishes go they are quite vanilla; it’s okay to admit you have a foot fetish in comparison to BDSM [bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism] or being into golden showers, for example,” Dr Mars says.
“It can be a submissive act for men and they can enact that without going too far down the submissive path and compromising their masculinity.
“Feet are accessible. There are lots of options, toes, shoes, stockings… And the options are often elegant.
“In addition, feet are an area of the body with lots of nerve endings!”
And while feet aren’t my thing, shoes are another story altogether…
What do you think? Have you ever encountered foot fetishism in a partner?
Images, in order, via www.popsugar.com; theurbanrooms.co.uk; topnailideas.com and supplied.
Picture this: It’s holiday season, you’ve been happily single for a year now (by choice, obvs) as you’re far too busy being fabulous, successful and carefree to want a serious relationship just now, but you’ve developed an urgent need for some hot lovin’.
a) Invest in yet another vibrator (yawn)
b) Eat more chocolate cake (like, a lot more)
c) Take up kickboxing to vent your sexual frustration and/or
d) Contemplate a holiday romance, fling or casual sex encounter, whatever term your fancy.
If you answered d), take a deep breath and let’s talk about the “rules”, girlfriend.
Sexologists and relationship experts alike say you’ll want to strongly consider the following hot topics below and/or include them for possible discussion with Mr-Perfect-For-Now if and when you decide to take up a short-term “fuck buddy” over the summer break. Of course, if it’s a one-night night you’d prefer, there probably won’t be a lot of deep and meaningful dialogue.
- Don’t expect cuddling, basking or canoodling after sex. If he bolts straight for the door after the big event, and you’re sure you’re just after casual sex, you need to learn to be OK with this, lady.
- You can’t expect to introduce your booty call to your friends, family or pets. Dude ain’t yours for the keeping (and you don’t want him long-term anyway).
- Be upfront about your expectations and feelings, or lack thereof: sure, relationships can grow out of casual sex, but you’ve got to make sure you’re both on the same page when it comes to love and commitment. Honesty is absolutely key.
- Do not act like a girlfriend and develop a strong emotional attachment to hot casual sex man if you don’t want a relationship. Save yourself (and him) the complication and possible heartbreak; leave your emotions at the door.
- Don’t be greedy and selfish in the bedroom: this is the time to be adventurous, find out what truly blows your hair back and experiment with new sexual positions and/or role play. Just be sure that he’s into it, too.
- Ensure you’re in control of both your emotions and your actions to avoid unsafe scenarios.
- Always, always practice safe sex. Always. Did I mention always? No ifs, ands or buts, if he won’t wear a condom, abort!
What do you think? What are your casual sex rules?
Images via www.someecards.com.
The key to great sex is great foreplay. Plain and simple. When you first hook up with a partner the foreplay can last for hours. The two of you are up all night talking, kissing and canoodling your way to passionate love-making. Neither of you care that you’ve had no sleep and need to get up for work in the morning. You’re both running on adrenaline. Awesome, isn’t it?!
After you guys have been together for a while, you can begin to lose that passionate honeymoon spark. No one intentionally sets out to lose it, but the lust you once had for each other develops into a deeper love. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with love but it can replace lust. Somewhere along the way lovemaking turns into a quickie whenever you can find the time.
Quite often, women are left feeling unsatisfied and the foreplay, which initiates sex can get monotonous and boring. It all becomes like a routine. Let me tell you, it doesn’t have to. It’s after deep love develops that you should actually be having better sex than when you first hooked up. If you’re not, you’re probably skimping on the foreplay and heading straight to the happy ending. So what’s a girl to do?
This is where fun enters the equation. “Fun” can look like a lot of different things to different people. I’ve got a few suggestions to get you started:
Now role play can be whatever you like. It might involve costumes like a scantily clad maid or nurse. Play the part and lose yourself in the fantasy. Lots of ladies like a man in uniform so get him to dress up like a fireman, cop, doctor or whatever your fantasy is. The key is to have fun while you’re doing it.
Role play can be played outside the home as well. You might want your partner to pick you up from a bar or nightclub, and pretend to be strangers, meet up in a dark picture theatre, whatever floats ya boat. Remember though, if you get caught having sex in public you can get charged with a criminal offense, so just a word of warning; be discrete!
Fun might consist of a bit of bondage. You don’t need to go the whole way, like dressing in rubber suits or buying sex related furniture and props. Unless you want to, of course. Tie each other up with scarf’s or belts and maybe grab a pair of handcuffs. Once again, play the part and lose yourself in the fantasy.
Add sex toys
Add some toys to your sex life. There are thousands of different items on the market. Why not jump online together, have a laugh and talk about what you’d like to try and purchase a few. That in itself can be great foreplay if you discuss what you’d like to do to each other.
Purchase sex games
You can buy sex related board and card games which give you both the opportunity to take turns giving and receiving. If you find talking about sex difficult, these sorts of games can get you to open up and be able to communicate your needs and wants to your partner. They are also a great way to introduce new activities to try out together.
Home-made sex games
A great game to play together is the scavenger hunt. Go around the house individually and meet back in the bedroom with what you’ve found to use as sex toys. You might want to try naked blind man’s bluff. One of you has on a blindfold and tries to reach out and find the other. What about strip poker? Turning everyday kids and adult games into sex games can be a lot of fun. Dig deep into your imagination and discover what you can both come up with.
These activities I’ve listed are just the tip of the foreplay iceberg. Have fun together, laugh, get creative and be daring. If you have any other fun foreplay ideas, please feel free to share them. We’d all love to hear about how you and your partner are getting creative and putting the fun back into foreplay!
Image via galleryplus.ebayimg.com/ws/web/121254363098_1_0_1/1000×1000.jpg
Love a good foot rub? Hell yeah! When it’s done right, even the most ticklish person can enjoy it. Sure, there are people out there that look at feet and think, ‘Yuk, no way’ but there are also plenty of people who find the humble foot irre-bloody-sistible. You know the foot fetish types?
Anyway, when it comes to foreplay and sex, the impact foot-play can have our our entire bodies often gets forgotten while we head straight for more tempting body parts. I wanted to focus on feet for a minute or two and hopefully tempt you into getting into some foot-play action of your own.
So what does foot-play involve? Absolutely anything and everything you can think of to relax your partner, enjoy the experience of sensual touch and literally make their toes curl. Sound good? It includes pampering, massaging, kissing, licking, sucking and even that other word that I’m sure your imaginations can fill in the blanks. Hey, whatever floats ya boat. If you can’t stand the thought of feet in your mouth, use your other body parts instead. There’s no right or wrong way and everyone has different preferences. That’s the beauty of sexploration!
Now, if you are going to get into some foot-play most people would recommend clean feet. Some people don’t care, but if you are going to get your mouth involved, clean feet are a much tastier option, yeah? You can make this the starting point of the play process. If you have a spa or bath to jump into together that would be ideal, but if not grab a tub large enough to comfortably fit warm water, feet and hands.
You’ll also need a towel and some edible massage oil of your choice. Use a scented one like Vanilla because it’s calming and relaxing. Different scents do make a difference, so check out our article “Unlocking The Secret Of Sexual Scents” and use it as a guide. Set the scene with some candles or dull light, soft music and get naked! Make sure the temperature is pleasant so you don’t get cold and feel forced to get to that happy ending before you’ve both had time to relax, feel pampered and thoroughly enjoy the experience. You can do it with your clothes on but seriously, why stop using those oils at your feet? It is foreplay we’re talking about so slash that oil around a bit after and get creative.
Ok, I got a bit sidetracked there, so let me get back to foot-play. When you have everything ready I’m pretty sure you can manage to clean feet without graphic explanation. As you are doing it though, turn it into a massage. If you are using the tub it might get a bit awkward, so give them a clean and ditch the bucket and pop their feet on your lap. Add the massage oil and please make sure it is edible because other oils taste revolting.
Even you don’t know much about feet, don’t despair. Reflexology has been around for centuries and the following diagram will show you which part of the foot is linked to which part of the body. It’s basic but explanatory for our purpose. Don’t just head straight to the area marked sexual organs either. Sex is way more than genitals so pay close attention to the toes as well as the remainer of the foot. Remember this is a slow, sensual, full body experience for you to enjoy together. The key to great sex is mind blowing, toe curling, touch hungry foreplay!
So, this is where you turn the humble foot-rub into something so much more plus it’s sexy as hell. Start by kissing the feet and ankles and then move toward a bit of toe sucking and tongue action. How you do it doesn’t matter as long as you’re into it. Remember I talked about attitude in the “Ultimate Oral Sex Guide”, well, that’s exactly what you need to aim for here. Plus, you need to talk to your partner and ask them what they like. It’s not a mind reading exercise. When it’s their turn to reciprocate let them know what feels good.
While you’re using your mouth and tongue don’t forget to use your hands, breasts and the rest of your body to massage his feet as well. Foot-play is an experience in sensation, touching, connection and pleasure. You can do it one at a time or take turns giving each-other pleasure. Just remember that men are visual and love seeing what you are doing. Bring on the sexy smile and lots of eye contact. They like to know that you are enjoying giving as well as receiving, so make it a well worth experience for both of you.
Image via youroilessentials.com/i/Foot_Chart.jpg
I once met a beauty therapist who told me her main male client assessed a woman’s dating potential, and indeed whether he’d consider “going down there” on her, purely based on the state of her feet. Yep, that’s right – this guy had a serious foot fetish and in his mind, if a woman didn’t keep hers in tip-top shape, then by his logic, the rest of her would be a hazardous no-go zone too.
I guffawed loudly in shock upon hearing this – talk about shallow and judgemental – wasn’t he interested in the state of a woman’s brain, too?
Dating can be a minefield, in which you must carefully navigate partners’ sexual quirks. So, what do you do when you encounter a sexual turnoff?
Communication is key, and definitely don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with, says leading Australian sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein.
“Partners have to tell each other what they like,” she says, “but it always needs to be requested, never forced. And if it feels like the request is overstepping a boundary, it’s time to call it quits.”
1. How does your lady garden grow: Bush is back in a big way, according to women’s tabloids, largely because a certain Gwyneth Paltrow recently admitted she “rocks a 70s vibe down there”. So, can we women banish our brazilian waxers for good? Easy tiger – chances are, you may meet a man who prefers your bod to be hairless in the manner of a mannequin. Is it a deal breaker? Should you have to wax if you don’t want to? Dr Goldstein says if you find the idea of a brazilian abhorrent, and he’s always at you to wax, get a new partner who likes you au naturel.
2. If it’s not on, it really ain’t on: Does your new man whinge every time he wears a condom? If your partner won’t take responsibility for your respective sexual health and birth control, it’s high time you booted him out of your bed, says Dr Goldstein. “If a man is going to refuse to wear a condom then he has to accept you’ll both be getting an STI test and entering into a monogamous, exclusive relationship,” she says. “It’s one of those important conversations that don’t have to be awkward: ‘Let’s discuss this, so next time we both know what to do and don’t have to stop mid-sex’.”
3. Keep it fresh, keep it clean: Sex can be hottest at its most primal, but personal hygiene is paramount when dating, methinks – no one wants to get busy with a partner with a bad case of BO. So, how do you tell the man you’re knocking socks with, to fix himself up, without offending? If he comes at you – post rugby match – do you spray him with Old Spice? Dr Goldstein agrees “grubby sex can be hot”, but says be careful you don’t damage a man’s ego with this one. “Suggest a shower together, be calculating and clever to make this situation work for you.”
4. Ladies need a warm-up: Is your lover always in a rush to get to Orgasm Town? Or is his idea of foreplay buying you a drink? “A lot of guys find foreplay boring because the focus isn’t on them – it’s selfish and lazy,” Dr Goldstein says. “The rule of thumb is give her an orgasm before you enter her. If a woman is already aroused, she also has more chance to orgasm through penetration and come quickly. A lot of men don’t understand women need a slow warm-up – and getting a woman off is a turn-on for both of you. If you put in the work, guys, you’ll benefit too!”
5. Does he do a Harry Holt?: Does your new lover bolt from the bed after sex? The cool-down, or basking, is just as important as the warm-up – if you’re in a committed relationship that is, says Dr Goldstein. “If you’re having casual sex, you can’t expect the snuggling afterwards,” she says, “it’s the one negative to the casual hook-up. But if you’re dating someone, that behaviour’s a little indication they are scared of commitment – people who don’t want to stick around and snuggle and jump out of bed after sex, I would put money on them not wanting a relationship.”
Main image via checksandspots.com and bikini image via www.timeslive.co.za
People around the world are enjoying a busy love life, having sex an average of 139 times a year. And some countries are racing way ahead ? the French are the most amorous having sex 167 times a year followed by the Dutch (158) and the Danes (152). Australians fared well having sex on average 144 times per year. Lovers in Singapore (110) and Thailand (112) have sex the least.
Almost a quarter of people globally (24%) declared they would have sex within a month, and 17% said on the first night. Half the people said they had a one-night stand and men are more likely than women to have a fling, but only just (54% compared to 42% of women).
Australian women revealed they wanted more foreplay (42%) and wanted their lovers to be creative, gentle and slow down when making love. Boys think women lack creativeness and also wanted more foreplay. 13% of men also revealed they wanted their partner to talk less in bed.
The car is still the most popular place to have public sex for Australians (68%) followed by the beach (44%), in the park (39%) and in the bush (36%). 10% said they had sex in a telephone booth.
Norwegians are more likely to have sex on the first night (32%) but it doesn?t always last with 72% admitting to a one-night stand.
The Durex Global Sex Survey revealed that more than two thirds (68%) would reveal their sexual fantasies to their partner but are less likely to own up to an affair (47%).
More than 40% of Australian men fantasised about having sex with a best mate?s partner while half the Australian women surveyed admitted to fantasising about sex with another woman. Globally, the most popular fantasy is sex with a celebrity with 65% of people admitting they?ve thought about it.
Okay, does he do the fast-forward through the stuff that turns you on? Well, he probably needs to learn to relax. The best thing to do is get him to lie still while you stroke, kiss and caress him for about 30 minutes. He mustn’t move or even try to reciprocate. (Could be hard but he has to lie still). A sex therapist says that men who fail this usually rush foreplay. Well, don’t panic cause this test is actually a form of therapy so make him keep doing it until he passes.
What Type of Couple Are You?
When do you have sex? If you have it first thing in the morning you are a couple that are comfortable with each other. If you have it at night you’re practical and traditional. Having sex before you go to sleep means you are committed to this relationship. It actually means you prefer a more structured way of life. If you enjoy sex in the middle of the day you’re definitely adventurous, free spirited and you are both rule breakers.