Not all of our friendships were meant to last.
My sister celebrated something that resulted in a level of devastation I’ve yet to recover from.
It’s hard to know what to say or do when one of your friends is dealing with grief. Grief is so different to all of us and we go through multiple stages of loss that affect all individuals in different ways. You can never truly relate to someone else’s grief, just like no one can truly relate to yours because everyone’s experiences are all so diverse.
While your friend is struggling with grief, the best thing you can do for them is be a line of support. Listening with compassion and empathy is very important so that your friend knows that you’re there for them. Simply listening is sometimes one of the best things you can do while your friend lets out their feelings to you, but other times, be prepared to sit in silence with them; just having your presence will show your support.
Accepting and acknowledging the feelings without minimising the loss that your friend is going through is also very important. It’s also best not to offer personal advice or mention anything about moving past this or what you have to be grateful for. While someone is grieving, let them grieve and accept the loss on their own terms. There is no time limit on grief, and we all work on our emotions differently.
That being said, offering long term support is important in knowing how your friend is healing. Making assumptions about how a person looks means that you could be overlooking how they are still feeling inside. Long term support means accepting how they’re feeling and helping out on special days such as birthdays or anniversaries.
Physical support is also often needed, such as grocery shopping, taking kids to school, looking after pets and helping with meals. Often grief can overwhelm a person, leaving them feeling helpless and as if their life is out of control. Giving physical support can help things continue smoothly so your friend can grieve properly.
Support is the one thing that your friend needs while going through a period of grief, so never underestimate just being there for someone. It’s a hard part of life for the both of you, but having a friend through this time is one of the most important ways to show that you care.
Image via blokesupport.com.au