So THAT’S what you do with illuminator…
Because ladies like a good drink, too.
Camping can be fun, but glamping is the business… trust me.
‘Twas the night before Christmas…
Father’s Day is just around the corner, and if you’re anything like me, you’re frantically shopping around for last minute gift ideas. Rather than dish out the tried-and-tested but oh-so-boring socks and underwear package, take a look at these fabulous prezzies guaranteed to see your dad smiling all day! Dads are precious; remember, you’ve only got one. Make him feel special!
Viktor&Rolf – Spicebomb: From Sephora, this masculine tip of the hat to the feminine perfume Flowerbomb is the epitome of style and scent. Your dad will love this sensual eau de toilette! Spicy, audacious, deluxe; it has everything to enjoy!
Topman Mi-Pac Messenger Bag, 20GBP
Topman Mi-Pac Messenger Bag: Join the growing trend of men’s satchels with this practical and stylish messenger bag from Topman! The Mi-Pac bag is as attractive as it is useful, and will definitely put a smile on Dad’s dial!
Noel Printed Polo from Cotton On, $24.95AUD
Noel Printed Polo: Spring is here, summer is on its way, and what better way to prepare Dad for the warmer weather than with this stylish printed polo shirt from Cotton On? Lightweight and stylish in a variety of colours and styles. Buy now and get 2 for $40!
Kogan Grill and Sandwich Press, $37AUD
Kogan Grill and Sandwich Press: Everybody loves a good toasted sandwich, so why not get dad the Kogan Grill and Sandwich Press? Cook everything from meat to vegetables to panini, and enjoy lighter, healthier cooking as the fat drips away! Complete with temperature control and perfectly timed grilling, this is the perfect Father’s Day gift the whole family will love!
Felix Italian Black Wallet from Antoine and Stanley, $32.50AUD
Felix Italian Black Wallet: Made of 100 per cent Italian leather, this slim fit wallet from Antoine and Stanley is the perfect finishing touch. With four card pockets and two small change pouches, it will fit right in! Available in a variety of colours including tan, dark grey, Italian black, brown and Italian brown.
Netflix Gift Card, $20, $30, or $50AUD
Netflix Gift Card: Family time over a good film is convenient and fun with a Netflix gift card! Purchase them at any 7/11, Myer, Woolworths, Big W, Coles, Target or Australia Post. Entertainment for anyone and everyone!
Variety is the spice of life, they say. So we’re basically encouraged to think that difference is good, right? But is difference always such a good thing? Or is difference simply a matter of perspective?
This is probably getting a bit deep for Weekend Wit, especially when you just want to kick back and have a giggle or two. So without further delay, let’s take a look at some random images that are all about difference. Who really cares if difference is good or bad or if it is a matter of perspective. Let’s enjoy a bit of difference and leave the philosophy to the experts!
I can spot some similarities here. Nice smile, dude!
It’s remarkable that gender can determine pricing. Yet, what’s possibly more remarkable is that we don’t dispute it – we just pay it.
After her nose job, Latoya Jackson really does bear a resemblance to ET. I wonder if she considered that before her surgery?
Poor grandma. Quite a likeness though.
Notice the second man from the right corner? He’s not checking out their bodies, but he’s still smiling. Maybe these blondes had a strategy? In that case, who’s the silly one? Just a thought.
What this guy lacks in technology, he makes up for in his sense of humour.
And so does this guy.
I love the cat. He is really playing his part.
I did pose the question of whether all differences are good!
I couldn’t resist to finish off with just a touch of philosophy. Difference… Umm, perhaps it is all about our perspective?
Images funny-fun-fun.com, videobash.com, funny-pics-fun.com, jokideo.com, funnyasduck.net, plus.google.com, ask.fm, ajeremyg.tumblr.com, skoften.net, ayblog.com, m.pulsk.com, pinterest.com, veryfunnypics.eu, collectivelyconscious.net, vietbao.vn, lolzbook.com, reddit.com, bustanedostan.ir, rukal.fh4u.net,
They say necessity is the mother of all inventions. I’m sure that’s why Thomas Edison invented the light globe back in 1879. It was dark back then and he needed some light. Boy how far has technology come since then! Or has it?
This next lot of backyard inventions follow the same concept as Edison, having been born out of necessity. However I highly doubt they’ll have the same impact on society as the light globe but they are worth a bit of a laugh.
This one’s quite clever. Pushing around a hand mower is really tough work.
Don’t ya love the fact he had to place a name tag on the side?
Witty and practical. I wonder if scientists have tried this approach for hurricane alerts?
Anyone who has suffered the pain of a crappy shower head could appreciate this one. It does look quite effective.
It seems this inventor has digressed somewhat. Weren’t wheels a revolutionary invention? He’s obviously put some thought into this though because the sneaker are all matching. I wonder if that made a difference to his prototype.
Aha…. kite surf envy. That’s one way to join in and I suppose it beats sitting on the foreshore.
It seems BBQ’s are something a lot of people have a go at creating but this fella has gone one better and got himself a multiple sausage cooking utensil. Why should everyone burn their hands right? A true mate if I ever saw one!
Why would this inventor try to stabilize this substitute fuel tank on the outside of the ute? Perhaps he ran out of hose and it just wasn’t long enough to place it securely in the back.
Do you think this air-conditioner just cools the freezer section or the entire fridge?
Let’s hope this set up is NOT for a child. They’re obviously very serious about keeping something inside there.
Apparently life is better with a ute and by passers at this event would probably agree. Nice work fellas!
No oar? A pitch fork and an old number plate will do the job.
That certainly is a lot of tape to turn this pedestal fan into a ceiling fan. However will it be enough? I don’t think I’d like to stand under it.
I’d bet good money this was photographed in a bachelor pad.
Well that’s it for today. There certainly are some very creative minds out there. Not exactly in the same class as Edison but at least they are trying to make their lives better. Let’s just hope everyone stayed safe while using their weird and not so wonderful inventions!
Images trollface.ws, radass.com, danadz.wordpress.com, rantlifestyle.com, runt-of-the-web.com, runt-of-the-web.com, funnyphototime.com, boredville.com, weirdtwist.wordpress.com, es.twtrland.com, eugeneandtex.com, humorek.com.pl,
Feature image seriouslyforreal.com
This Weekend Wit article is about those weird and wonderful sex noises that happen. And while most of us know what they are, people rarely talk about them. Even lovers avoid those conversations. Can you imagine? “Hey babe, how was that incredible sound of air gushing out your vagina!?”
Some people can be a little concerned about the weird noises bodies make during sex. And some are so self-conscious about it they get up and bolt. We humans are a funny species aren’t we? So grab that cuppa, because you’re about to be entertained by the human side of weird and wonderful sex noises.
Don’t people make some weird facial expressions and noises when they climax? There’s that puffing and panting that goes on and makes humans sound more like overheated furry animals for a start; then I’ve heard people describing their lovers orgasm as a host of different things such as a dying cat, a birthing cow and even a whale on heat (to name a few). I don’t know what a whale on heat sounds like but it seems a little too offensive to be endearing, don’t you think?
Then there’s the “oh my god” statements. “Yesssss” cries and let’s not forget the name calling; “oh (insert name here).” They are all pretty standard, but what about people calling out the wrong name? I’ve never been in that situation so I can’t really comment, but what do people do when that happens? Do they stop mid orgasm? Do they finish? Do they run for the bathroom? Hmm, that’s a weird sex noise of a different category. Possibly the shameful variety? Anyone care to share their misfortune?
Anyway, have you ever noticed that some orgasm noises can sound a lot like a person being murdered? Think about it. Imagine the movies with sex scenes verses murder scenes. Now try and distinguish the audio between the two – hopefully you can hear what I mean.
Who would have thought there was so much similarity between the audio of pleasure and pain. The perplexing question is why? Shouldn’t humans have an exclusive ‘I’m being murdered’ noise and a ‘I’m having an orgasm’ noise? Humans are weird creatures indeed.
Suction cup noises
When two moist surfaces stick together they sometimes make a loud suction cup noise when they separate – kind of like a slurpy sound when you suck hard on a smoothie. It can happen to hot sweaty bodies in the throws of passion, especially if there’s a bit of loose flesh about. It’s also one of those sex noises that doesn’t happen often. So when it does it’s worth at least a few giggles, don’t you think?
Now, I read a sad story about one lady who got so embarrassed when it happened that she bolted out of the room. This screams one-night stand! She should have taken advantage of her situation and made as many weird and wonderful sex noises as possible – at least the experience would have been remembered for all the right reasons. It’s surprising she didn’t slip – she got out of there so damn fast.
Air escaping the vagina sounds are like a loud fanny fart without the smell. It happens because the penis pushes air into the vagina during the in-out action of sex. The air has got to go somewhere, so when it does it’s usually after sex or when a woman suddenly change positions. Guys, if it does happen, don’t ask your partner: “Did you just fart?” It sort of ruins the moment!
When a women is really wet or the couple have poured a bottle of lube on their genitals, that squishy sound happens. Some people love it and say it’s the best sound of sex, while others aren’t as enthusiastic – they find these sex noises downright embarrassing and just want it to stop.
One women questioned if she was too wet – suffice to say she got plenty of positive feedback. She quickly found out that the words ‘too wet’ in this context should never be considered a problem.
Oral sex noises
The last one on the list for today is oral sex noises. I’m talking about the person with their face full doing the work, not the person laying back and enjoying it. There’s gagging, gasping and those trying to breathe noises going on. It can actually sound very concerning and in any other situation their lover would probably offer some help. Who would have thought the sounds of choking or running out of oxygen would be such a turn on for so many people?
Image via Apartment Therapy
Is penis size a myth? Hmm, it depends which side of the equation you sit on this. Some say yes it is a myth and others say absolutely not! Penis size does matter, in fact it matters a heck of a lot.
I’d like to say for argument sake and to make men out there feel better by saying that penis size is a big fat urban myth. Just because a man is well endowed it doesn’t automatically qualify said man as being an incredible lover. I know some women out there will be jumping up and down right now, but wait ladies. If you think I’m wrong let me take you for a bit of a journey and provide some proof. Yes there is actual proof!
Being a tremendous lover is like any other skill that’s acquired. It’s not something men put on their resume or display on their LinkedIn account for all the world to see, but we can agree it’s a skill nonetheless. Tradies also have skills, yeah?
Now, when women hire tradies to fix their cars or something around their homes, they don’t base their selection on the size of the tradies tools now do they? Do they choose a mechanic by the size of the money wrench? Carpenter by the size of the hammer or plumber by the size of a plunger? No they don’t. How bloody bizarre would that be?
Instead they might chat to a few, get a couple of quotes and base their decision on the best quote or the tradie they feel most confident with. See where I’m heading with this? Tool size and skill have no connection people. None. Unless a tradie skillfully knows how to operate their tools, they won’t get the job done properly at all. A man with a hammer does not a carpenter make. Understand?
Now if penis size was a defining factor to get women off why are there vibrators the size of an index finger? Also, why is this size one of the best selling vibrators and why do manufactorors continue to come up with more colours, designs and so forth? Plus, why wouldn’t the sex toy industry just make all vibrators and dildos the size of a well endowed man or larger, if all that mattered was penis size? Why?
Well I’ll tell you why. Size does not matter. Simple. Plus how on earth would a woman manage to keep a vibrator hidden in her handbag if they were all made based on the myth that bigger is better?
Image for a second a woman rummaging through her handbag as most women are known to do. She’s right in the middle of her favorite busy cafe about to pay for her morning latte. As she’s pulling out her purse out flies one of those extra large vibrators with a strong resemblance to a gigantic penis. OMG can you imagine! Is bigger better now ladies?
These women know that a small discrete bullet sized vibrator will do the job. Plus if the above fore-mentioned scenario did happen most people would think she’s just dropped her lipstick, not her favorite sex toy. She can calmly pick it up, pop it back in her handbag and no-one would be the wiser. I don’t think she could do that with something bigger, do you?
It’s what’s attached that counts
Most women would have to agree that what’s attached to the penis far outweighs penis size. If penis size was the only thing that mattered men wouldn’t be covering up. They’d be heading to the nearest plastic surgeon, getting massive implants and parading around their most prized possession.
Much like those women with ridiculously large boob jobs who are known to parade around rich old men like Geoffrey Edelsten, for them to make their breast selection. Oh sorry their wife selection. Clearly these men believe the bigger the better. Hmm, I wonder if that applies to them? OMG what am I saying? Sorry I really don’t wonder. Particularly in these cases I’m very glad men aren’t parading around, penis out!
Lastly, I’m pulling out the big guns and offering scientific proof! If women preferred well endowed men why are there so many men walking around with small penises? Wouldn’t the evolutionary process of natural selection have snuffed them out by now? Think about that one.
Images: huffingtonpost.com, groupon.ca, reddit.com, pintrest.com
As the countdown to the new year begins, everyone is planning where they will be and who they will be with when the clock strikes twelve. Plenty of couples stay home together New Years Eve. They’ve had their single fun and as the years pass by they begin falling asleep before midnight, ignoring the traditions and just pass it off as yet another night in as the rest of the world celebrates.
For singles, though it’s something very different. It’s a magical night filled with possibilities. Not many singles sit home on New Years Eve. It’s usually the biggest night of the year because they’re all out there celebrating the start of the new year and what it has to offer. Will it be a new romance, a new job or new life? The passing of one year to the next is an opportunity singles don’t want to miss out on.
They also have that traditional New Years kiss lingering in the back of their mind. Will they miss out or will they find someone to kiss as the clock strikes midnight? Who will it be? Will it be Mr or Mrs Right they meet and kiss on this magical evening?
In reality, those who do land a hot steamy kiss on New Years Eve are usually plucked out of the crowd when other singles see they have no-one to lock lips with. This only happens because everyone has had way too much to drink and inhibitions suddenly disappear because it’s New Years Eve and kissing is expected.
Regretfully, it probably won’t be the magical experience of two strangers meeting, embracing and living happily ever after. No. It will be more like being grabbed by an intoxicated stranger and having their tongue shoved down ya throat!
You know the kisses I mean? The ones that are all tongue and no lips. It’s almost like the lips don’t connect at all as the tongue takes centre stage. In reality, the stranger is probably only an hour off of passing out and it’s like they are trying to get all the tongue action they are going to get all year, in that one sloppy New Year kiss. I’m not too sure what’s so magical about that, but plenty of singles are out there New Years Eve and this is what a large majority experience.
When you stop and think about it, it’s a bizarre phenomenon, this New Years Eve kissing thing. As the clock strikes midnight, french kissing in public is the norm, not the exception. Society dictates that adults and teens for that matter, should have their tongue twisting around in someone else’s mouth. Seriously, it’s one of those traditions which makes me wonder where on earth did this come from?
Was it a shy single who wanted to take advantage of flowing booze and high spirits? Maybe they thought it was the only way they’d actually land a kiss during the year; right smack bang when it starts. Was it some intoxicated stranger who kissed another intoxicated stranger on New Years Eve and started this?
No. Apparently it was the Romans. How many centuries ago was that?! Now those people were known for avid promiscuity because they weren’t only partaking in public kissing! It was more like a New Years Eve orgy and everyone got in on the act. Ha-ha, we think our society is sex oriented. Those randy Romans really knew how to welcome in the New Year with a bang!
It’s quite amusing how their ummm … tradition, has made its way into our century in a much tamer fashion and continues to engage singles year after year. Even though they aren’t publicly shagging their way into the New Year like the Romans; there remains a certain magic of New Years Eve for singles. So, if you’re single on New Years Eve, enjoy the freedom, land that kiss and thank heaven and hell you aren’t an ancient Roman!
Image via https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6165/6200546381_565f1ceed2_z.jpg
How would you like some professional hosting tips for your next social gathering? I’ve organized and hosted a bucket load of social events in my time, ranging from big community functions to small backyard barbecues. The planning guidelines are basically the same, so if you use the tips I’m about to share with you, regardless of the event, you’ll be able to enjoy yourself instead of being a slave to the festivities.
Now the first thing you need to organise is a plan. Jump on your computer, get a spreadsheet happening and brainstorm. There are some templates available online or make up your own. Do you want decorations, music or a bar area? What about the food? Jot down everything you want at your party, right down to the smallest detail like bins, serviettes and ice. Make sure you have extra columns to mark off when items are ordered, organised and completed. Print this out and remember to keep it updated as you go along. This will not only be a guide for you, but will also help you allocate jobs to willing volunteers.
Next is the shopping list. Shopping for parties or events takes valuable time which you no longer need to spend in store. Jump online, order all your items and get everything delivered. It might cost a little extra but when you consider the time factor of physically sourcing everything, trust me, it will be money very well spent.
Now that you’ve got that organised, if the event is at a private residence, head back to the computer and get some decorative signs made up that lead to the toilet and bathroom. Plus, if you have areas you want to keep off limits, put together some no entry signs. Get creative and make up signs for the bar area, coat storage, can and bottle recycling or whatever you like. These will add to the decorations if you spruce them up a bit.
Speaking of decorations, make sure you get these delivered about a week before the event. If the event is in your home, spend some time each night setting the house up. Arrange the bar area with large containers for ice, plastic cups, etc.
Set up the music and speakers. Using an iPod, mobile phone or something similar is easy. Get your playlist together and make sure you have enough tunes to flick on the music before your guests arrive and forget about it. Just a tip, guests may ask for music requests during the party. Unless you want to start being the DJ for the entire event, let them know that the music is preset. If you have a volunteer who is willing to DJ and take requests, that’s great. Allocate the job to them if they are willing.
Now if the party is at home, don’t be too fussy about having a spotless house. It will look a lot worse afterwards. If you are concerned your home isn’t being presented the way you’d like, give it a quick vacuum and dust as you set up. Mopping floors are a waste so don’t bother.
If the event is at a different location, enlist the help of others to assist with decorations and preparations. Ask the facilities staff or management if you can have some time to prepare before the event. Most will agree to allow you limited access so plan decorations which you can set up within that time-frame. If you are having balloons, order a cheap pump with the decorations or opt for helium. Blowing up balloons is time consuming and there are easier ways to make it happen without running out of valuable oxygen!
The night before your party, prep any food which can be done early. Keep it as simple as possible and try not to make extra work for yourself. If possible have a reasonably early night and get a good rest.
The day of your party all that should be left to do is the final food prep. Cook anything which needs cooking, get out serving implements and you should basically be ready for an awesome event. If the event is at a catered facility you won’t have this concern. Spent some time during the day with your feet up relaxing and give yourself plenty of time to have a shower and get yourself ready to receive your guests.
Doing all the preparation prior to your party will really pay off. Instead of being the type of host who is rushing around ignoring guests, you can actually spend time with them and enjoy yourself. Plus, the more entertaining you do, the easier this gets. Save any documents you’ve created on the computer in a separate file and re-use them.
These tips and techniques are ultimately what professional event organisers do everyday. They plan, organise and prepare. It’s that simple! It doesn’t matter if it’s a small gathering like a BBQ, kids party or a big event like a wedding; these guidelines are super flexible.
Good luck and enjoy your festivities!
Image via spatrendonline.hu