Funny-texts

Weekend Wit: If Dogs Could Text

Ever wondered what would be said if dogs could text? Well, some pets owners have provided the globe with a few ideas. They’ve attempted to capture the thoughts of dogs and some do it fairly accurately, I reckon. Although we all know only canines really understand what’s going on beyond those beautiful puppy dog eyes, it does make the human mind boggle.

RELATED Weekend Wit: Cute Pet Memes

Here’s some owners’ interpretations of their beloved dog’s war between their archenemy, the postman, and others think they might question their owner’s devotion. Then there’s thoughts about wearing those unflattering cones around their necks. Are they right, do you think? Maybe they are!

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

If Dogs Could Text, pets, animals, funny texts

Images smartphowned.com, boredpanda.com, ask.fm, ezon.co, guff.com, pintrest.com, highoctanehumor.com, unfunk.net

June 27, 2015

Weekend Wit: Funny Texts Round 2

When you stop and think about how communication has changed in the last twenty years it’s pretty awesome. We can be virtually anywhere in the world at anytime and communicate with others via text. We don’t need to wait to be face to face or even voice to voice to speak.

RELATED Weekend Wit: Text Fails That Will Have You In Stitches!

This does however open the law of averages to work against us. For every positive change welcomes a brand new negative. That’s harmless enough considering the convenience we all experience isn’t it? It might be a stray text to a stranger or unwitting recipient or perhaps the infamous auto-correct with a brain of it’s own. Others may use text to say things to people they’d NEVER say face to face and then of course there’s that misunderstanding which sometimes occurs with all types of digital communication.

For us onlookers it’s all pretty funny, but please spare a thought for a few the people actually receiving some of these. You’ll know which ones I mean after you take a look. So let’s see first hand how the wonderful law of averages is working against some people out there!

 

broncos

Man talk 101.

coffee

Toast… goat. Pissed… coffee. We can all see how spell check did that can’t we?

drunk

No dude, not too drunk at all.

erotica

Is this fate’s way of saying don’t go to the party?

fondled

Clearly auto correct has sex on the brain.

gran-died

The slipped finger phenomenon.

k

Clearly not the response they were hoping for?

long-dong

Notice when “image” was mentioned it helped provide the visual.

shitting

Yet a second visually appealing text.

vagina

Speaking of visuals. Does that really look like a vagina?

at-kfc

Poor Moooma ain’t loosing that weight any time soon.

dad's-dead

Proof that people can actually text without a single operational brain cell.

laughing

This dad just had his heart restated without a defibrillator.

love-dads-smile

What an evil little ……!

mums-vibrator

Awesome way to get rid of the kids! Anyone seen my phone?

my-son

Prime example of a great father / son relationship.

nasty-FB-mom

Anyone willing to offer this child some Pro-Bono counseling?

obviously

Great way to suppress a thriving libido.

owned-by-mom

One for Mum and minus zero for smart ass.

protections

s-condoms

Way to give ya boys some confidence with the ladies!

shotgun

I’d vote this man Father of the Year.

sugar-daddy

How can she continue to 🙂 after that initial text?

time-to-go

This last one actually makes me feel like a better parent.

So, I hope you all enjoyed the second round of funny texts. I’ll admit, not as funny as the first round but hey, some of those were just too hard to beat. No matter how hard I searched! Hopefully in a few more months people will come up with some more funny texts to entertain us. In the meantime if you have something tucked away that’s witty or funny and you think others will enjoy, we’d love to hear from you.

April 11, 2015

Weekend Wit: Text Fails That Will Have You In Stitches!

Texts are a true miracle of the twenty-first century, aren’t they? Where would we be without them. Besides the obvious convenience of the humble text, there are some people who have turned this type of communication into a unique form of entertainment.

From wickedly funny auto corrects, bizarre assumptions, direct and indirect disclosures, I’ve trolled the net and come up with some seriously funny text fails worthy of this weeks’ Weekend Wit. So please sit back, have a laugh and enjoy!

RELATED: Texting Tips To Save Your Fingers, Time And Reputation

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Awe, how precious and how terrible her kid put it on the internet!

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

I know phones do a lot these days but a 3-way? Plus, if phones really did do that, would she really share the information with her mother? Highly doubtful!

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

I wonder if they showed their mum this conversation?

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Poor women. Not even her phone is giving her a break!

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

There are some parts of a child’s mother that are unthinkable. This is one of them – regardless of how many times auto-correct continues to repeat it and place the image firmly in your head.

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

I’ll go out on a limb here and say Grandpa probably would have preferred the cock ring. Ya lucked out pops – Yahtzee and a tie instead!

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

What can I say except good on ya, Dad!

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Yeah, I bet it tastes a little funky. And to want to drink it all day?

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

How on earth did auto-correct get oil from pick? The mind boggles.

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Inflate, invite. Are you sure this one was really auto-correct?

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Imagine living in that household? Poor Mark!

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Seriously? What a way to put an end to your kids solo sex career. Every time he’d now have this image of his mother telling him not to shake it.

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Was she waiting for him to just come out and say it? Imagine the conversation around the dinner table that night.

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Great advice ladies! Parenting 101.

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Yep, Dadster. A very fun chat!

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

We all know that text messages get misunderstood sometimes, but no-one would anticipate this response. Run boy, run fast!

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Imagine receiving this text? What a calm reply.

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

Poor kid. He was so happy with his perfect girlfriend.

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

It may be awkward for you, but very funny for everyone else.

Texts, funny texts, autocorrected texts, funny auto corrected texts

 Luckily some bosses can see the funny side!

Just a final tip: Always check your text BEFORE you send it into cyberspace . That auto-correct or misplaced finger is seriously out to get you!

What are some funny auto-corrects you’ve come across?

March 14, 2015