“I really care about you but I can’t do this anymore.’ The eleventh and final installment in the Tales of a Fuckgirl series…
Please don’t tell me how to grieve.
The staff made it clear my sexual orientation should be kept hidden.
And it’s definitely NOT what you’re expecting…
My boyfriend asked me to live with him… then took it back.
Being mad at someone who’s dead is the definition of impotent rage.
Raise your hand if you’re a single lady! Being single has never been better. You can be selfish, spend unlimited time your friends, less time grooming and more time in comfy clothes. Sounds good right? We’re not going to lie; there are some definite perks, but at the end of the day (and don’t deny it) we are all looking for one thing – love. As humans we are biologically programmed to find a mate and there is no shame to say we are searching for that special someone, so why are people losing their ability to fall in love? With people continuing to steer clear of traditional relationships and preferring to remain unattached, maybe its time that we start to take a long hard look at ourselves.
- Instant gratification
As our world becomes increasingly digitalised every wish is now our command. Need directions to that new café, click! How about buying those shoes you found online, click! With everything at our fingertips we have developed a society that craves instant gratification. However love isn’t something that just happens, it takes time. It is a feeling that spans a lifetime and no app or instantaneous decision can help create or facilitate love. Step away from the computer and look up from your phone and start enjoying the journey towards finding someone you love.
- We have become increasingly egocentric
Ever-heard Carly Simon’s infamous, “You’re So Vain?” Well unless you’ve been living under a rock, the lyrics focus on a self-absorbed lover and the damaging effect his manner has on the relationship. When we are in a relationship, we are a part of a team (even if it is a very small one!) and it is our job to ensure that everyone feels included. It is natural for your wants and needs to be a priority however the issue arises when your self-interest becomes all-consuming and consequently your partners needs are overlooked. We all like things done when and how we want, but a big factor to ensure you both feel appreciated is compromise. If you continually think about yourself and only partake in activities that interest you, your partner will end up board, feel unwanted and ultimately leave. You never know, devoting your time and efforts towards that special someone might just strengthen your relationship and take it to another level.
- Chasing perfection and the unattainable dream
As wonderful as those Disney movies we watched as children were, they are not realistic. Unlike Cinderella, one fabulous night on the town will not necessary offer up your future husband. And to break your heart again, all those rom-coms aren’t doing you any good either. Brad Pitt, Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling are all one in a million and even they aren’t perfect. No matter what your expectations are, nobody will ever meet every one of them. Again we come back to compromise. They may not be a Greek god, or rolling in doe but if you look past that, you may find that they’ll impress you in hundreds of other ways.
- Having too much choice and dating for the sake of dating
Since dating has become more acceptable within our society, the more pressure we are putting on ourselves to be involved. But just because everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean you have to as well. As well as this, having too much fun in the bedroom could also hinder your future love life. It makes finding someone to love even more difficult and at the end of the day, if your not invested you are just wasting precious time. Finding your sole mate is not a challenge or a game, ever heard of ‘less is more’? Well this is when it applies. Although it may be exciting at the time, having an excessive amount of partners makes sex and dating a sport rather than an intimate experience.
Image via Plash.in and healthyandbeloved.com
As the layers come off and the social scene comes alive again, The Dating Stylist Kim Lal has some essential tips on how to spring clean your body and mind and get your love life ready for summer!
1. Set your new exercise routine
If you’ve spent your winter binge-eating, drinking and sleeping the days away, then it’s safe to say you’re not going to be looking the best version of yourself – and if you don’t find yourself attractive then how can you expect anyone else to?
Take the time and energy to reinvigorate yourself by engaging in daily exercise to blast those winter kilos away. This not only trims your waistline, but it also gives you more energy, helps you sleep better, improves your mood and libido, and increases self-confidence.
2. Change the stodgy winter diet to spring vegies and fruits
You are what you eat! Eating healthy foods reduces your risk of stroke, cancer and type 2 diabetes. It also helps maintain a healthy weight, gives you more energy, makes you look younger, feel fresher and live longer.
(Secret date tip: When you’re on a date, the food you eat will tell your partner a lot about you. The Dating Stylist recommends being healthy and adventurous when eating on a date.)
3. Preen those feathers
As we shed the thick tights and long-sleeve shirts, it’s often a good idea to give your entire body a good spring clean. A full body exfoliation will get rid of dry skin cells and a wax to remove any hidden hairiness will really prepare you for spring.
4. Sort out your emotional baggage
Spring is definitely a time of new beginnings. If you’re looking for love then it’s time to remove the past from your life. Give your Facebook page a good clean out, delete old photos from your phone and computer, delete old numbers and face the future with a positive frame of mind free from the past.
Are you looking for love now that winter days are behind us?