Get the most out of your career.
Should we be forced to sacrifice our mental health for physical?
Quitting isn’t a dirty word.
I’m starting to see the ones I’ve broken have been ones I’m happy I didn’t stick to.
How many of these can you check off the list?
Because what’s more important than your relationship, really?
It’s likely that you’re already familiar with the bucket list, but have you ever considered creating a f*#k it list? While the nether is great for listing all the goals and dreams that you hope to one day fulfil, it doesn’t take into consideration the now – which, according to numerous spiritual gurus, is where all of our power lies. So, dear reader, what exactly is a f*#k it list and why should you be ditching your trusty bucket list in favour of one?
The FU list is ultimately about letting go of anything that might hold you back from reaching your full potential and achieving your goals. This could be anything from caring too much about how others perceive you, to not saying how you really feel. In essence, it’s about taking back control of your life in order to get to where you want to go; saying “f*#k it” to the things that really don’t serve you a purpose.
Let me ask you this: how many times have you withheld an idea or a comment in fear of being wrong? How many times have you not acted on something – like giving that cute stranger your number – because you were afraid of looking foolish? And how many times have you looked back on that moment only to be filled with some type of regret? The point is that if you act out of fear, doors are less likely to open up for you and you’re less likely to be open to life. As the saying goes: it’s better to say ‘oh well’ than ‘what if.’
So, on that note, ladies, here’s the top 5 f*#k it’s to include on your list!
- F*#k it, I can’t be liked by everyone.
It’s a fact: you can’t be liked by everyone. And if you were, it would be a damn exhausting job people pleasing 24/7 – because let’s face it, that’s exactly what you would have to do. According to an article by the Huffington Post, if “about 85 percent of the people you meet like you, you are probably doing something right,” and on the contrary, “if much more than 85 percent of the people you meet like you, you are probably doing too much to get along.”
This isn’t to say that you’re not a likeable person, it just means that not everyone has the same likes or holds the same values as you do. If you find that you rub people the wrong way or vice versa, let it go. Instead, cherish the wonderful friendships that you do have.
- F*#k it, I’m going to say what I feel.
This is something that a lot of people struggle with, and surprisingly, it can do a lot more harm than good. In an article by The Guardian, a palliative nurse who had counselled the dying revealed the most common regrets that they had in their final days. Interestingly, not saying how they truly felt was among the top five.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others,” the article read. “As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
- F*#k it, it’s okay to fail.
Getting knocked back or failing at something is a part of life. But just because you fail once doesn’t mean that you’re destined to fail for the rest of your years. Some of the most successful people in the world, including Walt Disney and J.K. Rowling, were told no several times – and low and behold, they found their way to a big fat yes.
Let us all take some advice from Thomas A. Edison the next time things don’t go according to plan: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
- F*#k it, I’ll worry about it if and when it happens.
Did you know that 85 per cent of the things that we worry about never happen? Let me repeat that number: 85 per cent! Yep, research conducted by the University of Cincinnati proves it. What’s more, the study found that 79 per cent of us actually surprise ourselves in our ability to handle the 15 per cent that does happen.
This is incredible considering we spend a good part of our lives worrying about all of the things that could go wrong. Can you imagine what could happen if we were to put that energy into thinking about all of the things that could go right? Oh the possibilities!
- F*#k it, it’s okay not to have all of the answers.
Life is full of uncertainty. You’re guaranteed to keep your job no more than you’re guaranteed to live for the next fifty years. So, why is it that we feel control over circumstance equates to stability and happiness? Because quite often, as I’m sure you’ve experienced, it leads to frustration and disappointment.
It’s okay to make the wrong decision, adjust it or learn from – you weren’t to know the outcome. Besides, sometimes it’s the wrong decisions in life that ultimately lead to the right ones. As Tony Robbins once said: “The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.”
What would you put on your list?
Have you ever decided to make a change towards a healthier lifestyle, then found yourself returning to your old ways within a week or a month? This often happens because the goal we set for ourselves is too ambitions and we’re trying to change too much, too fast. There’s a gentler way to better health – taking one little step at a time and celebrating your wins along the way.
While the cold-turkey method can work for some people, it leaves most of us disappointed and feeling bad about ourselves. Lifestyle food and wellness coach Magdalena Mandryk shows us how to coach ourselves to better health from a place of gentleness and self-love instead. So grab something to write with and follow along!
What would you like to change in your lifestyle?
Magdalena believes that a happier and healthier life starts in these three areas: good nutrition, regular physical activity and positive mindset. It’s important to create good habits in all three, but without being too strict on yourself. It’s okay to enjoy a bit of chocolate or a glass of wine from time to time!
What area do you feel needs most attention right now? Pick one positive change to focus on: it could be drinking more water, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep. It’s always better to define your goal in positive terms and move towards something you want rather than away from something you don’t want. For example, losing weight has an element of loss attached to it and what do you do when you lose something? That’s right, you want to find it again! Instead, focus on eating healthy food that nourishes your body and all of a sudden your goal seems a lot more attractive.
Why is this important to you?
Your motivation is everything. If you’re doing something just because your friend or an expert told you it was a good idea, the chances are you won’t stick with it. Imagine yourself achieving the result you want. How is your life going to be different? How are you going to feel? Is that what you want for yourself? If not, now is the time to go back to the first step and make adjustments to your goal.
What are your strengths?
List 3-5 of your innate strengths (your strengths are activities and qualities that come naturally to you and bring you joy). They don’t have to be related to the goal you’re setting for yourself, but when you’re stuck for inspiration you can always get creative and draw on your strengths to overcome obstacles.
What could get in your way?
Make a list of the challenges that can come up along the way: work emergency, losing motivation, kids getting sick, all the things that can happen to distract you from your goal. This list can get long, but don’t let that discourage you. It’s better to be prepared than to fall apart and forget all about your goal at the first sign of something not going to plan.
What are some possible strategies?
Here’s where you brainstorm strategies to achieve your goal and overcome your obstacles. It always helps to have a list of strategies ahead of time – in the heat of the moment you may not be able to find a solution and you might not even remember that you need one.
Are you having a hard time coming up with strategies for some of the things that could get in your way? Now is the time to call on your strengths. How can you engage your strengths to overcome your obstacles?
For example, you may be trying to get enough sleep, but you’re struggling to detach yourself from your computer at night because one of your strengths – curiosity, is always driving you to look for more answers online. You can consciously send your curiosity in a different direction and get curious about interpreting dreams. Then you’ll need to dream first before you have something you could interpret.
Choose a task for next week
Finally, it’s time to make your goal a reality. Choose a small, doable task for next week. It has to be achievable, measurable and attractive, something you want to do. For example, you could choose to go to bed 15 minutes earlier, exercise every day for 10 minutes or drink one glass of water. While it doesn’t feel like much, it’s easy to do and you’re far more likely to succeed than if you decide to stick to a bed time of 9 pm and exercise for 45 minutes a day.
Magdalena recommends that you focus on each task for at least a week before you move on to the next step. Once the week is up, review how you went, do something to celebrate your success and set a new task for the following week. When you succeed week after week, you start feeling great about yourself and you build momentum, so it’s much easier to keep going. One little step at a time and you’ll see that better health is well within your reach.
Image via Pixabay