I don’t feel the need to perform gymnastics in the bedroom anymore.
Does the G-Spot actually exist? And, if so, where the hell is it?
Never fear, dear readers, SHE SAID has got the fast facts on this one. This common sex myth irks Sydney sexologist, Dr Michelle Mars no end. For Dr Mars – who specialises in the sociology of sex gender and sexual well-being – says that despite many scientific claims to the contrary, the G-spot does in fact exist! “Best scientific evidence is that it does exist!” Dr Mars says.
“Science backs up my own experiences on this one. In an article published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine in 2012, a group of experts concluded that ‘the assumption that women may experience only the clitoral, external orgasm is not based on the best available scientific evidence’.
“I think it’s a myth that it doesn’t exist because a lot of knowledge about female pleasure has been lost over the centuries and the idea that clitoral stimulation is required for orgasm has become pervasive.
“Women who gushed a lot were embarrassed and sometimes not sure they had urinated.
“Plus, not everyone knows how to do it so it might be something that only happens occasionally. We think sex is something you just do not something you can learn about!”
The G-spot, also called the Gräfenberg spot (after German gynecologist Ernst Gräfenberg), is said to be an erogenous area of the vagina that, when stimulated, may lead to strong sexual arousal, powerful orgasms and potential female ejaculation. So, where the bloody hell is it, exactly? “It’s a cluster of nerve endings near the entrance of the vagina,” Dr Mars says.“Some women are more aware of sensation than others.
“The G-spot is about two inches inside the vagina toward the front of a woman’s body.”
Dr Mars’ best sexpert advice in finding the G-spot is to tread carefully. So, do couples need to use a torch? “No!” she laughs. “If you’re exploring the G-spot, take the time to make it sexy, go slow, go in shallow, get the angle right, in and up. Keep the pressure firm.
“Be aware that it can take time; getting better at any kind of sex doesn’t happen overnight.
“It’s very obvious for some people, but for some women it’s just a dribble and they may not be aware of extra moisture until they stand up and move around.”
So, can you survive sex – indeed life – without experiencing G-spot vaginal ejaculation? “It’s another kind of pleasure, partners feel pleasure when they make their partners feel good,” Dr Mars says. “Learning to have fun with the G-spot is important because it opens up new avenues of pleasure and stimulates new neural pathways for pleasure.”
And ladies (and men) if you still need help finding the elusive G-spot, Dr Mars says there are a plethora of sex toys specifically designed to stimulate it. But she still really, really wants you to do your homework and find the damn thing. “Like great kitchen appliances, sex toys don’t make up for knowing what you’re doing,” she says. “For those who prefer vibrators, this is a good couple toy to play with: The Thrill Clit, G-spot and Anal Vibrator from We-Vibe.”
Interestingly, Dr Mars says that while only women have G-spots, men have what’s called a “P-spot”. Stay tuned for more on that soon, ladies.
What do you think? Have you found the G-spot?
Images, in order, via femamom.com; www.bodysculptor.com and abcnews.go.com.
Compiling a sex playlist can be a tricky task. You don’t want anything too cheesy (Marvin Gaye), or unsexy (Taylor Swift), or too fast (Linkin Park). Fortunately, Billboard has completed the mission for you.
With the help of Spotify, Billboard recently logged all the songs featured in playlists with the words “sex” or “sexy” in the title, and compiled the 25 most common tracks in this ultimate sex playlist.
Despite the disturbing fact that people are clearly entitling their sex playlists something like “sex playlist” (come on people – what happened to subtlety?), there are some surprising artists on the list. For example, I would have thought having sex to Miley Cyrus’ “Can’t Be Tamed” was a terrible idea – but apparently a lot of people are doing it! Others on the list include Coldplay, Chet Faker and Flume.
But why do people have sex playlists, anyway?
The most obvious explanation is to collate their mood music and avoid having their High School Musical soundtrack pop up during a sweaty session. Others use music as a mood-enhancer. The shy – and, arguably, uncreative – use it as a hint to their intentions for the evening. For some music helps synchronize the rhythm and flow with their partner: having your bodies and breath in-tune will ultimately lead to greater chance of bedroom success.
Of my friends, the overwhelming majority had sex playlists, or at least, a go-to album or artist. However, a select few found that music can sometimes be distracting. There is nothing worse than riding the waves of your own rhythm, only to have the track change and throw you off.
Yet, despite the potential for incompatible tastes, or the awkward presumption of clicking on the “sex playlist”, it would seem that most people are getting it on to tunes. So what do you think?
Do you have a “sex playlist”? Which songs do you think are best in the bedroom?