If you can tick off more than four of these, you may already be headed for Splitsville.
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Happily-ever-after is for fairy tales – and fairy tales are bullshit.
Unwifeable author Mandy Stadtmiller shares her picks…
Most of us have no idea what we’re doing.
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Love isn’t what I used to think it was.
If it’s a cash bar, count us out.
It’ll be the loneliest time of your life.
You’ve been dreaming of your happily ever after ever since you watched Cinderella as a little girl, but despite your marriage, it always seems just out of reach. From sex to household dramas, there always seems to be something standing in the way of you and your successful marriage.
That’s why we’ve spoken to a happy couple, who have successfully fended off the villains of their story for decades, proving that real-life fairytales really are possible.
Karen and Rick have been married for 30 years and have had their fair share of marriage related dramas, but this Melbourne based couple have found the perfect balance to keep them both happy and as loved up as they were when they first said their vows.
All couples fight and that’s okay
Every relationship has some tension, whether your husband is too lazy to do the dishes or he splurged on a pricey car when you’re supposed to be saving for your dream vacation, fights are inevitable.
“The saying ‘you fight like a married couple’ had to come from somewhere right? We fight all the time, probably more than I care to admit, but we always kiss and make up. The fight usually helps to relieve pent up tension too” – says Karen.
Not fighting will inevitably turn you into a ticking time bomb; you need to be able to put your issues on the table so you can resolve them – otherwise you will eventually blow.
Compromise is key
The art of compromising is essential for any successful marriage, without it every decision is likely to be one-sided, or one of you will be consistently unhappy.
“He wants to go to Las Vegas I want to go to New York so we compromise and go to New Orleans. We’ve had times where one of us got our way and the other one had to suffer but it sucks the enjoyment out for both of us. If we went to New York and he didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t enjoy myself because he wouldn’t enjoy himself.”
Talk it out
All marriages are built on communication; a healthy couple talks things over and makes joint decisions. If you’re unhappy or something’s bothering you – you need to talk about it. Likewise, it never hurts to ask him how his day was or to be asked how your day was.
“He likes to pretend he isn’t listening to me, but I know he is. He knows how I tick because of it and me him.”
Good communication can help prevent meaningless arguments and show how much you care for each other.
Have common interests
Whatever it is you enjoy doing, share it with him and take an interest in his hobbies too. You’ve made the decision to embark on a life together, yes you need to do your own thing sometimes, but you always need to be able to enjoy each other’s company and let each other in.
“Rick and I, we cook together. Rick never used to be able to but I’ve started teaching him. On the weekend we experiment with new recipes, then we sit back eat and enjoy a cup of wine – or two!”
Your husband is supposed to be one of your closest friends, you need to make the most of each other’s company and be constantly looking for new ways to have fun. A stale relationship can get dry very quickly. Constantly looking for new ways to spend time together is a sure way to ensure neither of you gets bored.
Keeping your marriage alive and kicking is a lot easier than you may have thought.
Image via www.bodyandsoul.com.au