Identity-crisis

Bad Haircut Or Makeover Opportunity?

Ever been told things happen for a reason? Yes, even being on the receiving end of a bad haircut! Recently, I went into a new hairdresser and asked for the Jennifer Aniston look. I hadn’t had a cut for a long time because I’d changed states and was a bit hesitant (to say the least)  about letting a new hairdresser touch my precious locks. Lengthwise; it was long. Damn long!

Needless to say, I walked out with a short bob. My initial response was WTF! Not only had this new hairdresser neglected to do as I asked, but I’d lost at least 15 cm of pure length. The horror! Jennifer Aniston’s style was, therefore; totally out of the question. So, I walked out of the salon with murderous intent because the ‘professional’ with scissors had snipped away at my identity.

After a few hours of despair, self pity and all that crap, I decided to flip my attitude and considered myself quite lucky. Loads of people get the same hair cut – time after time. With a bad cut, you have an opportunity to experiment with something different. It’s all in the attitude. You can either sulk about it until your hair grows back or you can turn lemons into lemonade. And here’s a few tips on how to do just that.

1. Avoid DIY cutting

Put down the scissors NOW! DIY works well for a variety of other things but fixing your haircut really isn’t one of them. It doesn’t matter if you have a bit of experience, either. Chances are you are probably a bit emotional and what starts as a bad hair cut could end up being a total disaster.

2. Check out the latest styles

Jump on the internet and check out the latest styles. Work out what will suit you and be realistic about achieving it. If you’ve had long hair for a while, going short will be a big change and you will need some time to get used to it. Make the best of the situation and think sexyThere are plenty of sexy shorter styles, which may look better than your previous long locks.

3. Using what you have

If you have natural curls, reinventing a bad haircut will be fairly easy. If you have straight hair, you may want to invest in a curling wand or opt for an even shorter look. You will need to go to another hairdresser to have it done. Either way, think about what type of hair you have and work out ways to make that bad hair cut work for you.

4. Products

Most of us have a few products tucked away. It’s time to use them. If you don’t have any, think about what you want to achieve, go and spend a bit of money and buy them. They aren’t going to break the bank and they will make you feel better. It’s tough to put a price on that! For example, the wet look is really sexy and suits lots of different hair styles. Applying it is easy and you can get the look you are after. Plus, it can cost as little as $10.

5. Attitude

It doesn’t matter what your hair looks like. Beauty comes from within.  If you walk around with a shitty attitude, it will shine through. If you approach this event as time for a makeover, you’ll do fine. You’ll probably get comments about how great the new style is and how brave you are for trying something new.

If you obsess about your misfortune, not only will you act and sound like a whinger, which repels people, but you will have missed an opportunity to improve yourself. Life often throws things at you for this specific purpose. So grab it with both hands and make it work for you.

Image via http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQRKoG-0adBD9z6OoatU3qU6EfmWUSYxmzT9qU1IV3tIZHw6PXm

October 20, 2014

From Businesswoman To Baby Wrangler

One minute you’re a corporate high flier, with every PR in town chasing your business – the next, you’re on maternity leave and no one remembers your name. Suffering an identity crisis, post-baby, is one of those mental battles many women don’t like confronting and/or talking about. After all, there can be no greater societal tag than “mum” – it’s an achievement in itself and by far the hardest job in the world, if you ask me. But how do you cope when you’re accustomed to being invited to the best parties in town, but – post-baby, self-imposed isolation – you’re flat out scoring a kiddie play date?

And what about the mental anguish and unease associated with going from challenging, mentally stimulating full-time work to stay-at-home mum? How do you reconcile the two roles: from businesswoman to baby wrangler?

Personally, as a freelance journo and new mum, I hate the term “housewife” and bristled when my GP had me labelled as that on a medical form. I find these societal tags diminish you and your achievements. “No, I’m a freelance journalist!” I chided her. The poor love just looked at me like I was a crazy person. Leading psychologists say to make peace with this new chapter in your life.

Enjoy this time: It may sound like a cliché, but this is a special time in your life, and if you’re fortunate enough to be able to spend time at home with your small people, that really is a positive. After all, this is a time-limited role – your babies will quickly grow into school-age children, become less dependant as they begin to interact in the wider world and when you look back, the time you spent with them at home will have passed by in a flash.

Value the role: Raising the next generation to become useful, well-functioning citizens and ensuring that your child is raised in a warm, loving and encouraging environment so that he/she will reach their full potential is arguably the most important thing you’ll ever do. Recognise it for the important and valuable role that it is.

Focus on positives: If you are struggling, focus on positives not negatives. Don’t focus on what you’ve lost (status, stimulating interactions with work colleagues, for example). Acknowledge these losses, but then move on and focus on the joys of your new role: being your own boss, the sweet smiles, the first steps, first words and the knowledge that you are giving your child the best possible start in life.

Identify and challenge negative thoughts: Whenever you find yourself thinking something like: “I’m just a stay at home mum”, challenge the thought with something like: “Hold on, honey – that’s not true, I’m just being negative and making myself feel bad”. Don’t allow yourself to dwell on negatives, instead replace with positive thoughts such as “This is a really valuable role and a privilege to have this time with my child”.

Be kind to yourself: Inevitably, you’ll make mistakes at times. We all do, sister. Don’t beat yourself up, forgive yourself and resolve to do better next time. Find out from friends, family and parenting books how best to deal with the various issues that arise with recalcitrant small people and you’ll be better prepared to deal with the same situation next time.

Form your own support group: Find other mums in the same situation and support each other – encourage, debrief with and laugh about the tough times and encourage each other. Helping someone else in the same situation will empower you too.

Image via pixabay.com

By Nicole Carrington-Sima

July 9, 2014