Intercourse

6 Things You Need To Start Doing To Your Vagina

If you’re not doing these things already, your vah-jay-jay could be suffering.

October 18, 2016

The Not-So-Sexy Side Of Sex Injuries

Sex comes with certain risks. And while most of us would instantly think of STDs and pregnancy, this lot of un-sexy sex injuries looks at the risks of sex from a totally different perspective. Luckily, while some of these sex injuries sound down right scary, most can be prevented. Plus they don’t happen that often when you consider the amount of sex people have.

So, from sex in the shower to the broken penis, I’ve trolled the internet to come up with some sex injuries you may have experienced yourself, and some which I’m sure you’ll hope will never happen!

RELATED: Put the fun back into foreplay

Vaginal injuries

Bruised uterus / cervix
If thrusting is too intense or penetration too deep it can lead to complaints of the vagina. It can happen quite easily if your partner is well endowed or your cervix is reasonably short. The cervix rises and lowers with your menstrual, cycle so it’s possible that it’s more likely to happen during different times of the month. Your partner would probably like to go with the endowed penis explanation though, yeah?

Pain may be present some days after sex and you may experience other symptoms such as abnormal bleeding of the uterus, a burning sensation, itchiness, inflammation, blisters or a rash. While most bruising dissipates over time, seek medical advice if irritation and pain continues.

Torn vaginal cavity
This can occur during rough sex, contact with sharp objects, like finger nails or insertion of extra large objects. Once again no medical attention is required as healing will occur naturally. If the area becomes infected, is painful for a prolonged amount of time or you feel something isn’t right, head to your GP or Gynecologist.

Vaginal haematoma
This occurs when an area like the vagina swells significantly with blood. It is usually caused through blunt force trauma which can occur during sex. The blood clots, and even though the swelling may subside with elevation and cold compression, it is advised to seek medical treatment.

sex injuries

Penis injuries

Broken penis aka Penile fracture
No this isn’t a joke! A man can actually break his penis. Apparently the most volatile position for this to occur is with the woman on top. Sorry fellas! With the woman’s weight exclusively on the man’s penis it can cause a fracture due to blunt force trauma. It can also be caused by thrusting into a hard object. I won’t go into any further explanation on that one, but apparently men can slip and miss?!

If the man hears a cracking or popping sound, it could be a a medical emergency that results in corrective surgery. If left untreated it can lead to erectile dysfunction, pain during sex, damage to the urethra (the passage for urine and semen to flow) and permanent penile curvature.

Torn frenulum aka torn banjo string
For a man this can be quite distressing because of the amount of blood which can spurt from the area. It’s actually more common than people think, however. It usually occurs due to lack of lubrication during sex or masturbation (a good excuse for extra foreplay!?). This friction then causes the frenulum (the skin joining the foreskin to the penis) to tear.

It’s recommended to stop the bleeding by applying a cool compress and antiseptic cream to encourage healing. Small tears will heal themselves in a week or two and larger rips will take longer. If there is pain or discomfort after healing, it’s advised to seek medical care. Be advised that it can tear more than once and may become susceptible to additional tears. So to prevent this from happening make sure to use extra lubrication.

Testicular Rupture aka fractured testis
This is rarer than a torn frenulum and is a result of testicular trauma. A rip occurs in the connective tissue covering the testis (tunica albuginea) and results in extrusion of the testicular contents. It may cause scrotal swelling, pain, nausea and vomiting. If this occurs it will require medical treatment and surgical intervention, so seek medical attention promptly.

Anal injuries

sex injuries, rectum, objects in rectum, anus

Hemorrhoids / Rectal prolapse
If you engage in anal sex you may end up with either Hemorrhoids (a pink pad of extra skin protruding the anus), or a rectal prolapse. This is more serious. It can be present all the time or only during bowel movements. Effectively what has happened is that the muscles holding the rectum in place weaken and gravity works to pull the rectum down. The size is larger than a hemorrhoid, so this is how to distinguish between the two. If left untreated both can cause issues, so it’s best to see a GP.

Hidden/missing objects

Most have heard the story of the missing condom or tampon, yeah? Well what about the endless list of objects which are inserted into rectums? According to Martin J Carey, MD the list is only limited by imagination and it’s actually more common than people think. Most culprits try to fish objects out themselves, but ultimately end up at the doctors (hence the amount of x-rays on the internet!). The strangest case reported was about a man who traveled the world for six months with a dildo lodged up his butt. OMG! Wouldn’t you have liked to have been a fly on the wall in that consultation room!

Other

sex injuries, sex, risk of sex,

Broken bones/torn ligaments/muscles
Sex can get pretty adventurous, so it’s no wonder the body can sometimes stretch beyond it’s capacity. Among the most popular breaks are noses and torn ligaments and muscles in backs, legs, hands and fingers.

Just like any other form of exercise, it’s recommended that couples have a warm up before engaging in sex to reduce the risk of injuries. You never know, you might invent some new type of warm up foreplay?!

Slips/slides/crashes and smashes
Sex and slippery surfaces can be a lethal combination. Add a bit of lube and you’re well on your way for a trip to the hospital. If you’re going to use lubes or oils, be sure to get everything ready first to avoid any slips around the house.

Showers are another hazard. It’s recommended that if you have sex in the shower invest in a not slip mat. You might even want to try suction cupped handcuffs which can be used in wet areas and on slippery surfaces. They can spice things up and prevent slipping injuries.

Although there are many benefits of having a healthy sex life, it can all injure or affect the body in other ways. The following things have also been classified as sex injuries, which can occur during sex, orgasm or during initial hours following sex. These include, but aren’t limited to: heart-attacks, stroke, burst appendix, dislocation of joints like shoulders or knees, carpet burn, whisker rash, popped eyes, burst blood vessels and strangely a case of paralysis caused by a love bite.

Images via twitter.com, brooksidepress.org, wikipedia.org, collegehumor.com and barabare.blogspot.com

February 20, 2015

The Case Of The Missing Orgasm

For many women vaginal intercourse isn’t the orgasmic experience they crave, according to Elisabeth Lloyd, American philosopher of biology and author of The Case of the Female Orgasm. After analyzing 33 studies conducted over the past 80 years, Lloyd discovered that only 25 percent of women regularly experience orgasm during vaginal intercourse and half “sometimes” get there. Then there’s roughly 20 percent who rarely experience it and another 5 percent who miss out all together.

What’s more, achieving orgasm seemed unrelated to the duration of intercourse (how long her partner lasts), penis size or emotions connected to their partners. Therefore, it’s safe to say that actually achieving orgasm during vaginal intercourse can be a bit of a hit and miss experience. The question is, why? Or more importantly what can women do about it?

Why?

It seems to boil down to simple biology. The location of the clitoris is outside the vagina. It lies within the top area of the vaginal lips and penile stimulation inside the vagina usually doesn’t touch it. Although vaginal orgasm is possible without clitoral stimulation, most women find this difficult.

Another significant way which women miss out on achieving orgasm, is skimping on foreplay. If duration of intercourse doesn’t seem to relate to the low account of female orgasm, duration and quality of foreplay is a major possibility. This ultimately readies the body to experience pleasure. Women’s bodies take longer to prepare them for orgasm than healthy men and this factor maybe where women are missing out. Most men can arouse easily and take little time to orgasm. Women, on the other hand need more encouragement.

This might have to do with conditioning. Like anything in life, the more we do something the quicker and more efficient we become. Most teenaged boys masturbate, therefore, by the time they reach manhood, most can achieve an erection and experience orgasm within minutes. For some men, foreplay can be an unnecessary distraction which can lead to premature ejaculation. If they spend too much time on foreplay they probably won’t last very long during intercourse. Some men therefore limit the amount of foreplay so intercourse is prolonged. Make sense?

The solution

There’s no changing biology (well there is but that’s a different conversation!) and some sexual positions are better for women to achieve orgasm, like straddling her partner. The women on top is popular for this reason, because she can control the areas being stimulated. Plus, women can grind, which will stimulate the clitoris while her man thrusts.

The only problem with this is that it can get boring repeating the same position over and over again. Being the primary way many women achieve orgasm, regularly changing positions can deter bedroom boredom, assist the duration of intercourse and women can “finish” on top.

Another way to make orgasm more achievable is through masturbation. Women can achieve a similar level of stimulation, to that of their partners, by practicing. If it seems to take an eternity to achieve orgasm, masturbating might help.

Women can use visual or auditory imagery during masturbation, much like men. Self-exploration maybe what’s required to discover what’s hot and what’s not! Using the imagery during foreplay can prepare the body faster and make orgasm more achievable during vaginal intercourse.

Lastly, a women can help condition her man to last longer. This can be achieved by taking a break during foreplay, switching positions or getting him to think about other things during foreplay and intercourse.

Work together to find solutions and on achieving a happy medium. Remember, your man isn’t responsible for your orgasm. You are! Women can practice to orgasm more efficiently and men can practice to orgasm less efficiently. This is what happens naturally as a man ages and possibly why it’s recommended that sex can and often does get better!

Image via photos.myjoyonline.com

January 13, 2015

How Soon Is Too Soon? Dealing With Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation (PE) is the most common sexual problem in men under 40 and currently affects 1 in 3 Australian men. Most men orgasm sooner than they, or their partner, would like from time to time and occasionally losing control is completely normal. For up to 40% of men however, this is a regular occurrence. Never fear, PE is a problem for which there are a variety of treatments to choose from, starting with simple exercises to products that help and even therapy and medication.

RELATED: Unhappy In Bed? You’re Not Alone

PE is defined as reaching orgasm sooner than a man or his partner would like – regularly climaxing 3-5 minutes after penetration. There are many factors that may contribute to premature ejaculation, most commonly these are psychological factors and can include:

  • Depression or anxiety – particularly about sexual performance
  • Feeling anxious about rejection
  • Negative sexual experiences in childhood
  • Situations in which you may have hurried to reach climax in order to avoid being discovered
  • Guilty feelings that increase your tendency to rush through sexual encounters
  • Stress
  • Problems within the relationship

Erectile Dysfunction can also play a large part in premature ejaculation. Men who are anxious about obtaining or maintaining their erection during sexual intercourse may form a pattern of rushing to ejaculate which can be difficult to change.

What can we do?

1. Kegels – or pelvic floor exercises. Yes, women are much more aware of why they should be doing these (read our blog post about why a healthy pelvic floor is essential) but they are equally important for men too.

Here’s how it works:

  • In order to locate the male PC muscle, put one or two fingers right behind the testicles. Imagine that you are urinating and try to stop the flow with a quick muscle contraction.
  • Flex the muscle regularly. Try to do 10 to 20 squeezes in a set, 2 or 3 times a day. Do a set whenever you’re bored or stationary—like when you’re sitting at your desk or in traffic. No one will be able to see that you’re doing them.
  • Squeeze your PC muscle when you feel ejaculation coming on. Once the muscle is strong enough, you should be able to hold it off just like stopping flow when urinating.

2. Masturbation – we all know it’s good for our health (read 5 reasons why). It can also really help with premature ejaculation.

  • Start off alone without lubricant using nothing more than your own hand. Each session should last at least 20minutes before allowing yourself to climax.
  • Next move on to using lubricant – we recommend using a good quality silicone based lubricant. It’s light, gives great slip and won’t dry out during play eliminating the need for re-application.
  • Once you’ve mastered the lubricant, it’s time to move on to something more representative of sexual intercourse. Using a male sex toy that mimics the sensations of a vagina i.e. a Tenga Love Egg, a simple stroker or the more advanced male sex toys like the Fleshlight collection, will provide you with additional stimulation that you can practice with to control your climax, which will go a long way in helping to delay ejaculation with your partner. Be sure to use a waterbased lubricant with all male sex toys.

3. Stop and start method – is a way of training yourself to prolong your orgasm. Practice getting close to orgasm then stopping over and over until you have reached the point of no return. This exercise helps to identify the ‘braking point’ and allows you to recognise this when having sex with your partner giving you a ‘head’s up’ to stop or take a deep breath to avoid climaxing too soon.

4. Changing sexual positions – Believe it or not, some positions can have a negative effect on men suffering from premature ejaculation. Positions that require little muscle tension are best for reducing PE. The missionary position is definitely a no go. Why not try spooning (side to side), woman-on-top or doggy style (from behind) where both partners are on their knees. You may just find the one that works for you!

5. Delay products – there are a variety of products available today that will help to desensitize the penis and in turn help with controlling ejaculation.

  • Some condoms contain a small amount of lubricant containing Benzocaine which reduces sensitivity and can help prolong climax. Using condoms can also reduce sensitivity in the penis, so certainly worth a try.
  • For couples that prefer not to use condoms, there are various delay products available that can cause the same results. Pjur Superhero Delay Spray is a great option, helping to reduce sensitivity without numbing the penis completely, meaning you can both still enjoy the sensations whilst delaying climax.

6. Tantric techniques – In essence, Tantra offers a way to connect (or reconnect) with your partner more deeply & intimately. Tantra works with your breathing, your energy and yourself to produce love, and pleasure. It can have healing effects on erectile issues such as premature ejaculation.

As with most problems there is usually a solution. We’ve given 6 great ideas to combat early climax that can be tried at home alone or together with your partner. If all else fails, see your doctor who may be able to prescribe therapy or medication.

Miss Tickles, resident Sexpert and Sex Toy Party Princess at Tickle and Delight, along with her titillating team, travel the country bringing Sex-U-Cation to the women of Australia and New Zealand in the privacy of their own homes, surrounded by friends, where they can laugh and learn together. Find out more by booking your party at www.tickleanddelight.com

November 19, 2014

The Art of Love


For most people, sex is an important part of our daily lives. Whether through sexual intercourse, masturbation or fantasy, we define ourselves through sex. Our view of ourselves sexually can determine how we relate to people and can be a powerful force in how we live our lives.

While most people are able to manage the intricacies of sex, it remains a highly complex and often confusing aspect of life. Most people live by the misconception that sex and love are connected. For most women, this is the case, in that their sexual response is closely connected to their emotional response. For men, on the other hand, sex and love are not necessarily connected, although they can be. Most men have an intimate relationship with Mrs. Palmer, although there is obviously little emotional attachment.

In a similar vein, people frequently confuse the act of love and the feeling of the love. Most of us have fallen in love, which is a wondrous and exhilarating feeling of intense eroticism and passion. This is the feeling of love which has nothing to do with the behaviour of love. Most likely, romantic love is a biologically determined mating behaviour to ensure the survival of the human species. Studies show that the rate of intercourse drops precipitously in marriage after approximately 18 to 24 months. This suggests there is some significant change in behaviour and emotions after the honeymoon period.

On the other hand, I would argue that love is a behaviour, not a feeling. The behaviour of loving is listening to your partner when you are not interested, putting their needs before your own, preparing a meal for them, giving them a massage or a thousand other simple acts, many of which may go unnoticed.

Given that this more substantial type of love is a behaviour, you can become more skillful by practice. Love is not just simply a matter of feeling romantic, it is a series of behaviours which you can practise on a daily basis to help you become more skillful at loving. So, while the romantic feeling of being in love is like riding a tidal wave, ultimately the tidal wave recedes and you are left with the day to day issues of living a relationship. It is at this stage that love changes to a more meaningful set of behaviours.

By Dr Love

June 11, 2002

Some Insider Sex tips for Valentine’s Day


Want to learn to be the best in bed and really enjoy yourself? With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, SheSaid asked a few guys to give us some insider tips on sex.

“One thing a woman should always do is flatter your sleeping partner. Don’t’ ever insult his shape or size. Nothing turns me off more when a girl tells me my abs could do with some work,” says 28 year-old Marketing Manager Mark. “Lets admit it – a little bit of flattery doesn’t hurt anyone. Especially in bed.” Mark admits if a girl makes him feel hot and sexy he will stop worrying about his personal image and really enjoy himself and her.

  1. Sean a 32 year-old Banker says, “To have steamy sex a girl needs to know what turns her on and not be ashamed about talking about it. She needs to be aware of her G-spot or what positions make her orgasm. I honestly prefer women who are open and honest about what is good for them. Communication is the key – being able to talk about what didn’t work and what did work is only going to improve your sex life with that girl.”

    Scott a 24-year old builder says, ” I don’t think steamy as you say sex has to involve intercourse. For many men oral sex is more passionate and more intense. Foreplay can be just as incredible as it forces you both to concentrate on both your bodies rather than just ‘sex’.”

  2. Twenty-nine year-old Tim says, ” One of the most attractive features of a girl is when she is totally happy with who she is. I often think what I like about myself and try to find a like-minded partner. The key to this is finding someone who treats you with respect and likes you for you. When you both respect each other your sex life will automatically be incredible.”
  3. Matthew, 24 year old student says, “Always make time for sex. don’t put it off. If you find your sex life is getting a little dull then try different positions or even locations such as a secluded beach.
February 5, 2002