Kate-middleton

Battling The Princess Myth: Why You Don’t Need Rescuing

Few words have uglier connotations to me than “princess”; for life ain’t no fairytale and if you are desperately waiting and hoping for a white knight to rescue you, you’re just setting yourself up for misery and disappointment, sister.

RELATED: Self-Compassion: The Importance Of Being Kind To Yourself

Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo – I call bullshit. Personal power comes from a healthy self-esteem whereby you take responsibility for your life and make positive, empowering life decisions. You and you alone are responsible for your own self-care and happiness. Repeat after me: I am no one’s prize; I am nobody’s princess!

However, the princess myth and Cinderella-worship is so powerful and pervasive in modern-day culture, it’s everywhere we look: it’s rife in movies, women’s magazines, clothes, books and little girl’s fashion accessories, for starters.

And witness the public’s endless fascination with the real-life fairytale of modern-day princesses such as that of Mary Donaldson and her Danish prince and Kate Middleton (pictured at right), aka Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge and wife of Prince William, with the couple recently welcoming their second child, Charlotte, into the world.

princess myth, healthy relationships, kate middleton

I felt a cold stab of fear in my feminist-heart recently when my Cinderella-loving three-year-old daughter announced that she too wanted to “grow up to be a princess.” I allowed myself a small lecture to her about being in charge of her own destiny, before happily handing her her mock diamante tiara from the dress-up drawer and letting her indulge in the age-appropriate fantasy.

So, why is the princess myth so damaging to adult relationships? I turned to Brisbane psychologist Kobie Allison, 31, for her interesting insight into the issue. The psychologist/director of a private practice – which specialises in children, teens and families and acute and complex trauma – says the wish of wanting to be taken care of or “rescued” by another can stem from co-dependency.

“Co-dependency is a learned behaviour which can be detrimental to relationships as it affects an individual’s capacity to have a healthy, balanced mutually satisfying relationship,” Kobie says.

“One symptom of co-dependency is that one partner is generally the caretaker, fixer, rescuer, controller or safeguard. Thus, the partnership is built on “caretaking” instead of a love sharing. A healthy relationship helps each individual grow their self-esteem, self-confidence, sense of self-worth and self-reliance, which are all part of developing a healthy sense of self-love.”

princess myth, healthy relationships, kate middleton

To ensure both you and/or your daughters don’t fall prey to the princess myth, here are the psychologist’s top tips for healthy relationship behaviours.

Top five signs of an co-dependent and/or addictive relationship

  • A feeling of not being able to live without the partner.
  • Loss of self-control and low self-esteem: looking to partner for validation and affirmation of self-worth.
  • Making fewer decisions or plans: waiting for the partner to tell you what to do.
  • Rushing things, like sex or marriage, so as not to lose the partner.
  • Using drugs or alcohol as coping mechanisms.

Top five signs of mature love

  • Develops gradually through learning about each other.
  • Sexual attraction is present, but warm affection/friendship is central.
  • Characterised by calm, peacefulness, empathy, support, trust, confidence and tolerance of each other – there are no feelings of being threatened.
  • Is based on reality not a princess fantasy of being “rescued.”
  • Partners have high self-esteem and can make strong, independent decisions; each has a sense of self-worth with or without the partner and feels complete even without the relationship.

Top five important qualities to look for in a prospective partner

  • Is not involved in other love relationships and is open to being in a relationship with you.
  • Is well over heartaches and has not just recently broken up with someone else.
  • Has time to devote to the relationship and is close to you geographically: in your city or state.
  • Has high self-esteem; treats himself and others well, even if they are strangers.
  • Is compatible with you in terms of social values and beliefs.

 Images via theatlantic.com, marissabracke.com, hercampus.com

Duchess Kate Middleton’s Maternity Style

The whole world is anticipating the birth of a new royal as the Duchess of Cambridge is now only days away from the speculated due date of April 25. The son or daughter of William and Kate will be fourth in line to become king or queen, after Prince Charles, Prince William, and of course little Prince George.

RELATED: Kate Middleton’s Favourite Sticky Date Pudding Recipe

After going through some tough first few weeks of her pregnancy due to severe morning sickness, Kate has been glowing and looking stunning as ever. We love to see her at public appearances and for some reason, are fascinated by her style. Clothes that Kate has worn in the past have been sell-outs within hours, that’s how much of a style inspiration the Duchess has become to women everywhere. So, let’s take a look at Kate’s maternity style over the past 9 months:

duchess kate red dress

Even though there was no baby bump in sight in this outfit, Kate was glowing in this red dress – like only a pregnant woman can  during an appearance in late November last year. The fine jewellery and casual up-do give this outfit a modern twist.

duchess kate brown dress

In January, Kate proved that she can rock head-to-toe brown while visiting the Fostering Network in London.

duchess kate blue coat

This baby-blue coat Kate wore a few days later sent journalists into a frenzy, who saw it as a sign that she is pregnant with a boy  even though Kate and William had said that they chose not to know the sex of the baby.

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At 7 months pregnant, Kate still managed not to show too much of a bump in this short navy dress. The length probably would have been inappropriate without the black tights, but with those legs, we can’t blame the Duchess!

duchess kate blue polka dot dress

Looking oh-so-pretty in a black and white dress in March, Kate reminded us of the timelessness of polka dot dresses. The Duchess also opted for the same print when she stepped out of St. Mary’s hospital after giving birth to Prince George.

duchess kate pink coat

Pretty in Pink! For her last public appearance before going on maternity leave, Kate chose this bold, hot pink coat by Mulberry. A sign that it might be a girl after all?!

Images via Zimbio, Popsugar, In Style

Kate Middleton’s Iconic Style

It’s no wonder that Kate Middleton is always near the top of best dressed lists – she’s stylish, elegant and knows exactly what to wear for every occasion. There is no doubt that she is a popular style icon, rubbing shoulders with some of the best in Hollywood. So, in honour of her exquisite taste in fashion, here are some of her best dresses.

On the Royal Tour of Australia and New Zealand, Kate wore this stunning L.K Bennett Lasa Poppy print dress with poise and class.  She teamed it with an indigo Oroton Odeion clutch.

Kate Middleton's Best Dresses

Image source: indianexpress.com

The Duchess of Cambridge stunned the crowds when she stepped out to a gala event in London in this shimmering floor length, beaded, organza dress by Jenny Packham in 2011.

Kate Middleton's Best Dresses

Image source: awomensclub.com

This military style blue coat by Alexander McQueen was the fitting choice for her trip to the aviation museum in New Zealand, whilst on the Royal Tour in 2014.

Kate Middleton's Best Dresses

Image source: indianexpress.com

Kate Middleton is renowned for wearing outfits more than once and this periwinkle Roksanda Ilincic dress is no exception.  She first wore it in Los Angeles in 2011 and then again in the United Kingdom in 2012.

Kate Middleton's Best Dresses

Image source: awomensclub.com

When Kate stepped off the plane in New Zealand to greet the crowds she was wearing a stunning red double-breasted Catherine Walker coat-dress.  She accessorised perfectly with a Gina Foster hat and a diamond and platinum silver fern brooch which the Queen had loaned to her.

Kate Middleton's Best Dresses

Image source: indianexpress.com

In 2012, Kate attended St Paul’s Cathedral as part of the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee in this beige lace dress designed by Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen.  Teamed with a Jane Taylor hat and blush shoes, her look was pure elegance.

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Image source: awomensclub.com

Kate wowed the crowds with this teal coloured dress by Jenny Packham in 2012.  This elegant floor length dress featured a beaded belt with netted back and shoulders which she teamed with a matching teal clutch.

Kate Middleton's Best Dresses

Image source: ibtimes.co.uk

In September 2012, Kate Middleton attended a dinner hosted by the President of Singapore and she aptly wore this gorgeous bold purple and ivory print long sleeved dress from Singaporean born and New York based designer Prabal Gurung.

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Image source: backseatstylers.com

Kate stepped out to the Royal Easter Show in this Australian Zimmermann Roamer day dress looking elegant, modern and youthful.

Kate Middleton's Best Dresses

Image source: indianexpress.com

Of course the most elegant dress of all time would have to be Kate’s magnificent lace overlay wedding dress, designed by Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen.  The lace embroidered dress featured an ivory silk veil and a nine-foot long pleated skirt made from English and French Chantilly lace.

Kate Middleton's Best Dresses

Image source: vogue.com

Featured image via express.co.uk

Kate & Kim Baby Weight Loss Watch: Too Much Pressure?

It was the tale of two ridiculously famous pregnancies – the most-watched Mum Tums in recent times. Reality superstar Kim Kardashian, 32 and Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, 31, gave birth to their much anticipated offspring a little over a month apart.

First came little North West on June 15, 2013, Kim’s daughter with rap star Kanye West, 36 and then came His Royal Highness, Prince George [Alexander Louis] of Cambridge on July 22, 2013, Kate’s son with Prince William, 31.

Then came the flurry of excitement to clock eyes on Kim and Kate’s offspring.

Whilst Kim and baby North went uncharacteristically ‘underground’, Kate, Wills and baby George made their very public appearance on the steps outside the Lindo Wing at London’s St. Mary’s Hopsital, one day after giving birth.

Kim and Kate’s pregnancies came under very different scrutiny.

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Kate, who was lauded with having the perfect baby ‘bump’ and only looking pregnant ‘from the front’, apparently achieved this by hitting the gym, running, swimming and Pilates whilst pregnant.

Meanwhile Kim was ridiculed for piling on the pounds, which could really just be attributed to dubious fashion choices, shocking shoe choice and more than one unflattering angle.

Kim hid for two months, working hard to silence her body-critics whilst Kate had no qualms about showing her still round, post-baby bump to the world.

According to Vanity Fair, Kate’s hairdresser Amanda Cook Tucker was responsible for bringing the pale blue spotted Jenny Packham dress to the hospital, one of a selection of dresses for the Duchess. There was no point trying to hide her bump, so Kate chose a flattering dress that worked with her curves.

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Kim unveiled her post-baby body when she took newborn North to a LA Medical Centre clad in a loose shirt. Hints that her body was getting back to its old self appeared when Kim attended the funeral of Kanye West’s grandfather and more recently when she stepped out with her newly blonde locks and skinny jeans on September 4.

Kim is thought to have dropped 20 kgs with healthy eating and a strict exercise regime. She reportedly has another 5-7 kgs to go to hit her goal weight.

Kim works out six days a week – three days in the gym with trainer Gunnar Peterson and the other three days with fitness guru Tracy Anderson, working on cardio and Pilates.

Anderson, who has also trained celebrity mums Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow, has weighed into the debate over public obsession with celebs ditching baby weight.

“It’s insane,” Anderson told Newsday.com on Tuesday night at US Weekly’s Most Stylish New Yorkers event at Harlow in Manhattan. “I don’t think the public is even fascinated with it. I think they know it’s not real. It’s the most evil trick that women play on women.”

“There’s something really wrong with us trying to manipulate people into thinking celebrities have some secret that other women don’t have,” Anderson added. “Or there’s some superhuman unnatrual force that they were given that they just bounce back.”

Anderson revealed her goal with Kim was to make her ‘healthy and as in proportions as she should naturally be.’

“Kim is taking as much time as she wants to just be with the baby,” Anderson said. “She’s not even concerned with working out. Kim is amazing as a mom, she’s so connected. I knew when I was training her she would be a great mom. She was concerned with all the right things.”

Kate Middleton was back into her pre-pregnancy skinny jeans just six weeks after giving birth. Kate appeared unexpectedly alongside Prince William at the Ring O’Fire Ultra Marathon in Anglesey.

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Last week, Kate returned to the red carpet in sparkling fashion at the Tusk Conservation Awards in London. Wearing a silver, sequinned floor-length gown by Jenny Packham and silver Jimmy Choo stilettos, there was little evidence of giving birth to a prince a mere seven weeks before.

Singer-turned-designer Jessica Simpson can sympathise with Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton over the relentless attention dropping celebrity baby weight.

Jessica, 33, was ridiculed for her weight gain with first child Maxwell, 15 months and has worked hard since having her second boy, Ace Knute on June 30.

“I am definitely one of those pregnant women who just gains a lot of weight,” Simpson told Us Weekly. “I have really big boobs, I have my curves and I just gain weight. I can’t help it.”

“It’s been six weeks since I’ve had my baby now and I feel great,” she added. “It’s OK to gain weight and it will always come off.”

Jessica also weighed in on both Kim and Kate’s post-baby bodies.

“I felt for Kim – I knew exactly what she was going through,” said Simpson. “I send a lot of love her way, and I know she’ll come back with a bang.”

“Kate Middleton was glowing throughout her pregnancy,” she added. “A lot of pregnant mums were looking at her like, ‘How do you do that?’”

Indeed!

What do you think about the pressure for celebrity mums to lose the baby weight?

3 Ideas For Wedding Hairstyles

On your big day, you want to look amazing, so you’ll want to spend some time choosing between wedding hairstyles. This is not the time to experiment with a radical new look, but you do want to glam up the style you already have. Here are a few tips for picking the perfect hairstyle for your wedding.

updo

Up or down?

To wear your hair up or down is the number one question when it comes to wedding hairstyles. The common wisdom held that the updo was the most elegant way to go until recently, when Kate Middleton wore her silky brunette locks cascading down her back for the Royal Wedding. If you love the way your hair looks flowing over your shoulders, and wearing it that way makes you feel beautiful, go for it!

On the other hand, there are definitely pros for the updo, since it gets your hair up and off your face, letting you show off your beauty—and your earrings—to best advantage. For a true princess look, add jewelled combs or barrettes, or weave a tiara into your headpiece. If you can’t make up your mind, wear it half up, half down!

boho bride

Take a cue from your dress

You want your wedding ‘do to coordinate with your gown, so go with a similar theme. If you’ve chosen a boho-style dress, opt for a style that’s not too fussy, such as beachy waves. Add headbands, flowers or even feathers to carry out the look.

If you’ll be wearing a glamorous gown, go for the movie star look, with tons of volume. Try a fabulous updo and top it off with a glittery tiara.

For a dress that’s simple and elegant, you can go all out with lavish curls or softly straightened hair – just avoid anything too stylised. Your hair can be up or down, as long as it flatters your overall look.

short hair bride

Wedding hairstyles for short hair

Just because you usually wear your hair short doesn’t mean you should make a drastic change for the wedding. Give your bob a bit of glitz with a jewelled headband, or use volumising mousse to pouf up your pixie cut. When Anne Hathaway wed soon after cutting her hair ultra-short for her role in the film Les Miserables, this fashion conscious celebrity covered her crop with a super-glamorous headpiece designed specially to work with her ‘do.

Whatever ‘do you choose, make it yours. This is your day, so pick a style that suits you and makes you feel like the most beautiful bride in the world!

What are your favourite wedding hairstyles?