Did Julia Roberts in ‘Pretty Woman’ have the right idea?
When it comes to kissing, compatibility is everything.
Please, keep it in the sheets. I don’t want to see it on the streets.
I was hungry for something, and he delivered.
A great kiss should be experienced from the top of your head and work its way all the way down to the tips of your toes. That is the ultimate kiss. If you’re not aiming for that every time you kiss, you’re seriously missing out!
There really is an art to performing an incredible kiss. A bad kiss is a real let down, particularly if it’s a first kiss. If the first kiss with someone lacks that spark, which everyone is searching for, it may be a deal breaker. They figure if that spark isn’t there in that moment, it certainly isn’t going to get any better.
So how do you know if you are doing it right? No one automatically knows how to get it right and it takes a while to perfect. Remember back to your very first kiss? OMG, how bad was it? All mouth, tongue, hot breath and not exactly memorable for anything more than being your first kiss.
Now, no one can tell you how much tongue to use, how much saliva needs to be flowing, blah, blah, blah. That’s all personal preference. One thing you need to remember is that a great kiss starts slow. Just touching someone else’s tongue with yours is really sensual. So start there. Don’t go in like you are eating a giant-sized hamburger!
Starting soft, slow and sensual is what you’re after. Moisten your lips and let them gently come together with the other person’s. Let your lips touch well before you thrust in that tongue. You aren’t a lizard! Enjoy the sensation of your lips touching and then gently look for their lips with your tongue. Not like you are trying to lick something off them but like you are searching for a light connection.
If they do likewise, you will gently feel the connection between your tongues. Be careful not to overdo the tongue at this point. It’s likely you’ll begin to get that stirring feeling in the pit of your stomach. That’s the sweet spot, so savour it. Do whatever feels good and move in closer so your bodies are touching.
Your hands should be either to the back of their head with your fingers softly ruffling through their hair or cradle their face. Be conscious of where your kissing partner has their hands. If they don’t know where to put their hands, or have them somewhere else, direct them to a likewise position. Kissing is all about the face and head, not your butt, breasts or somewhere else. Well, not at this stage anyway!
You don’t have to stay glued to someone elses mouth, either. In fact, it’s better if you find their tongue and lips for a bit, come apart, take a breath and find them again, just as you did at the beginning. Take your time to build it up to being more passionate.
As that feeling in the pit of your stomach grows, the kiss will get more intense. Go with it. That’s often when hands wander. If it’s just a kiss, it might be time to pull away and come up for air. You can come back to it. Kissing not only makes us feel good, releasing all those positive endorphines, but many women find it an essential part of foreplay. That’s the beauty of kissing.
A great kiss doesn’t only get the saliva flowing but will also get the rest of the body ready for sex. Men generally don’t need as much foreplay and might neglect the effect a long, lingering kiss can have on a woman. Don’t let him rush it. That’s a sure-fire way to end up completely frustrated when he’s done and your not even halfway there. Remind him about your needs and let him know if the kiss lasts longer, you probably won’t!
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I could safely say that most of us know why we celebrate Christmas Day and Easter, but what about New Years Eve? Why do so many cultures across the globe farewell the passing year and welcome in a new one with lavish celebrations, fireworks, kisses at midnight and that weird song, “Auld Lang Syne”? I wanted to find out what it’s all about and share what I’ve discovered.
The first New Year’s celebrations
According to history.com, the first celebration to mark the new year began about 4000 years ago in ancient Babylon. It wasn’t celebrated on January 1st, like we do now. Their New Years Day was celebrated in late March with the arrival of the first new moon after the spring equinox (which was based on the movement of the sun).
They developed a religious festival call Akitu (Sumerian for barley) which lasted for 11 days. Behind the festivities was the belief that good powered over evil, which served a political interest when either a new king was crowned or current ruler’s mandate was renewed.
In other cultures, such as Egypt and China, the new year was marked by agricultural or astronomical events. For example, Egypt’s new year was when the Nile flooded, bringing new life to the province.
Celebrating New Year’s Day on January 1st
It wasn’t until 46 B.C. when Julius Caesar pronounced the Julian Calendar, which similar to the Gregorian calendar used today across many cultures, including our own. This was when January 1st initially became New Years Day. They celebrated by giving sacrificial offings to the God Janus (the Roman god of beginnings), exchanged gifts, placed laurel branches in their homes as decorations and had parties. The parties were quite an event where things apparently went a lot further than the humble smooch! Noise was encouraged to ward off evil spirits.
With the rise of Christianity in Medieval Europe, New Years day celebrations were replaced in lieu of Christian events such as Christmas Day. This is how it remained until 1582, when January 1st was reclaimed as New Years Day by Pope Gregory XIII.
New Year’s resolutions
The first of the traditions which were celebrated, date back to the instigators of New Years Day; the Babylonians. Their resolutions were in the form of promises to the Gods, like paying back their debts and returning borrowed farm equipment. To them, this was important stuff. Ultimately they wanted to get in the good books with the Gods for the upcoming year.
Consuming certain foods
In many countries foods plays an important role in celebrations, but not so much in our own culture. In Spain and Spanish speaking cultures, they consume a dozen grapes just prior to midnight to secure good fortune for upcoming months.
Legumes like lentils in Italy and black-eyed peas in the southern United States also symbolize good fortune because of their coin like appearance. Pork features prominently in places like Cuba and some European countries. Ring-shaped cakes and pastries, feature in the Netherlands, Mexico, Greece and other places. The Swedes and Norwegians hide an almond inside rice pudding and whoever finds it should expect a fortunate upcoming year.
The Chinese are the traditional creators of fireworks and therefore most celebrations included them. Their loud noise is said to ward away evil spirits. These days we celebrate with fireworks because they are enjoyed by so many people and cities put on marvelous displays for the masses.
Auld Lang Syne
Auld Lang Syne was a poem written by Scotsman, Robert Burns in 1788 and sung to the tune of a traditional folk song. In many English speaking countries, it’s sung at midnight on New Years Eve to farewell the old year and welcome in the new one. Many people know the tune, but by midnight the words often get a bit muddled!
Kissing at midnight
Giving and receiving a kiss at the strike of midnight New Years Eve began out of superstition. The ancient Romans were believed to have been the first to pucker up to ward off loneliness for the upcoming year. It’s also rumored that things went a wee bit further than kissing and there were possibly a few orgies going on in the prominent homes. Now, they really wanted to make sure they weren’t lonely!
The English and Germans elaborated on the superstition, believing that the quality of the kiss would indicate the quality of happiness experienced for the remainder of the year. This may be why the New Years Eve kiss is believed to be a special kiss, particularly for couples.
The Time Square ball drop
1904 was the first New Year to be welcomed in at Time Square. By 1907, Adolph Ochs, owner of The New York Times, commissioned Artkraft Strauss to design and construct an electrically lit ball which would drop at the stroke of midnight. He wanted something other than fireworks to wow the growing crowds.
Since then the ball has dropped each year, except 1942 and 1943 due to WW2 blackout restrictions. It has been reconstructed over the years and millions of people, world wide look forward to the famous Times Square New Years Eve ball drop.
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As the countdown to the new year begins, everyone is planning where they will be and who they will be with when the clock strikes twelve. Plenty of couples stay home together New Years Eve. They’ve had their single fun and as the years pass by they begin falling asleep before midnight, ignoring the traditions and just pass it off as yet another night in as the rest of the world celebrates.
For singles, though it’s something very different. It’s a magical night filled with possibilities. Not many singles sit home on New Years Eve. It’s usually the biggest night of the year because they’re all out there celebrating the start of the new year and what it has to offer. Will it be a new romance, a new job or new life? The passing of one year to the next is an opportunity singles don’t want to miss out on.
They also have that traditional New Years kiss lingering in the back of their mind. Will they miss out or will they find someone to kiss as the clock strikes midnight? Who will it be? Will it be Mr or Mrs Right they meet and kiss on this magical evening?
In reality, those who do land a hot steamy kiss on New Years Eve are usually plucked out of the crowd when other singles see they have no-one to lock lips with. This only happens because everyone has had way too much to drink and inhibitions suddenly disappear because it’s New Years Eve and kissing is expected.
Regretfully, it probably won’t be the magical experience of two strangers meeting, embracing and living happily ever after. No. It will be more like being grabbed by an intoxicated stranger and having their tongue shoved down ya throat!
You know the kisses I mean? The ones that are all tongue and no lips. It’s almost like the lips don’t connect at all as the tongue takes centre stage. In reality, the stranger is probably only an hour off of passing out and it’s like they are trying to get all the tongue action they are going to get all year, in that one sloppy New Year kiss. I’m not too sure what’s so magical about that, but plenty of singles are out there New Years Eve and this is what a large majority experience.
When you stop and think about it, it’s a bizarre phenomenon, this New Years Eve kissing thing. As the clock strikes midnight, french kissing in public is the norm, not the exception. Society dictates that adults and teens for that matter, should have their tongue twisting around in someone else’s mouth. Seriously, it’s one of those traditions which makes me wonder where on earth did this come from?
Was it a shy single who wanted to take advantage of flowing booze and high spirits? Maybe they thought it was the only way they’d actually land a kiss during the year; right smack bang when it starts. Was it some intoxicated stranger who kissed another intoxicated stranger on New Years Eve and started this?
No. Apparently it was the Romans. How many centuries ago was that?! Now those people were known for avid promiscuity because they weren’t only partaking in public kissing! It was more like a New Years Eve orgy and everyone got in on the act. Ha-ha, we think our society is sex oriented. Those randy Romans really knew how to welcome in the New Year with a bang!
It’s quite amusing how their ummm … tradition, has made its way into our century in a much tamer fashion and continues to engage singles year after year. Even though they aren’t publicly shagging their way into the New Year like the Romans; there remains a certain magic of New Years Eve for singles. So, if you’re single on New Years Eve, enjoy the freedom, land that kiss and thank heaven and hell you aren’t an ancient Roman!
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Talking about your sexual fantasies in bed is a great way to steam up the windows. You can even have story time, where each of you contributes to the story and builds it into something worthy of the X-rated video industry.Degradation is OUT
Things can get a bit heated up, naturally, but demeaning comments are unwelcome. Digging your nails into your guy’s back and calling him uncomplimentary names won’t score you any brownie points. Likewise, if he starts labelling you in unpleasant terms, chances are, he’s going to get your nails down his back anyway! Of course, it depends on the couple, but best not to go too far until you know who’s comfortable with what, or things could get out of hand.
What to say
Tell him how you love what he does to you and how he makes you feel.
- Explain how you’ve been desperate to be alone with him all day, all week or since you met.
- While touching him all over, ask if he likes this, or that, and wait for him to answer.
- Say his name.
- Compliment him on his body, his kissing, the way he uses his tongue or hands, or how he smells.
- Don’t forget to mention the obvious body part, and how you like it!
What not to say
- Anything that can wait till afterwards!
- How hot his best friend is.
- How you’ve had better!
- Perhaps he should try a different brand of toothpaste or deodorant.
- Are you horny because of me, or just horny in general?
- Are you in yet?
By Gina Luca
* Gina is a freelance writer whose passion for talking to people on the Internet provides much inspiration for her writing.