Why I’ll Never Love Myself, And That’s Okay

Me, myself and I like to remain at a distance. 

February 11, 2016

What being single means to me?

SheSaid recently asked the question “What does being single mean to you?” Here?s what some SheSaid readers from around Australia said?

Being single means being on your own; having independence; freedom and putting yourself before anything. Semra, 23, NSW.

The choice to eat pate on toast for dinner whilst wearing my flannel PJ’s. Being happy with who I am is what it’s about! Simonette, 27, QLD.

Being single means more room in the bed; more time with the girls; more space in the shower and sole possession of the remote control. Susan, 32, VIC.

It means oodles of bad dates and bad restaurants. Chantelle, 25, NSW.

To me being single means I finally have time to find myself; be myself and love myself. Jenny, 21, VIC.

I am a strong person; can change my own light bulbs; make huge decisions; eat Nutella out of the jar; take risks and love my choices! Elaine, 26, NSW.

Dates with new people; lots of time with friends; parties; shopping; chocolate galore; new hobbies and keeping up with gossip. Caroline, 25, NSW.

To have the freedom and time to focus on the people and things important to me. Jenny, 28, NSW.

Being single means everything to me; I have my independence and I control my own destiny? Tina, 31, WA.

Peace; quiet and hairy legs! Jennifer, 40, QLD.

I can go out with whom I want; can go on the computer at 3am; gaining the TV remote control; having the bed to myself. Rhonda, 45, NSW.

Being single has been the best opportunity to actually discover who I am and where I want to go in life; I know now what I want in relationship with a partner. Tania, 27, VIC.

Wearing whatever daggy underwear I want; seeing whatever ‘chick-flick’ I want; staying fit for myself and choosing my own life! Emma Louise, 18, SA.

Living with my own set of rules. No one telling me not to wear dark green nail polish. Hui, 20, VIC.

It means being able to make my own decisions; to be able to explore my full potential. Carolyn, 30, NSW.

Long lunches with the girls; Saturdays spent having manicures & pedicures; big nights at the pub – and no fighting over the remote. Bliss! Kylie, 29, SA.

Discovering yourself; your passions; beliefs and talents; who your ideal man is so when you’re ready to settle down; the relationship will be long-lasting. Roselle, 25, VIC.

It means that I know who I am and I love who I am unconditionally – and I am open to whatever opportunities come to me. Kellie-Ann, 24, NSW.

August 20, 2002

Do you love yourself?

If you’re giving out ‘I’m rubbish’ signals, who’s going to want to take you out on a date? Okay imagine walking into a clothes shop and the assistant saying to you, “Yes, get that dress it makes you look fat and the other great thing about it is that it is made out of really bad fabric. You will probably get one wear out of it.”Now your not going to buy that dress and you would probably hand the dress straight back to the shop assistant and walk out feeling really fat and ugly. Now here’s the point to my ramblings. A lot of us out there sell ourselves in the same way as that mean shop girl, and we still wonder why we are single? have you said things like this before:

“I’m too fat”

“I’m definitely not sexy”

“What would he see in me?’

You have to remember if you think all those things why would someone you like fall for you? If you don’t think you’re particularly interesting, then why should they? But the most dangerous thought of all – “why should he want to be with me?” – is guaranteed to get you the answer, “you’re right, why should he?”

Before you expect to fall in love you have to love everything about yourself. Get confident and proud. Look in the mirror every morning and tell your face you are the most important person in the world. I can guarantee the phone will not stop ringing!!

March 8, 2002